The Great Hummus Attack
Summary: After he thought about it, Oz decided his ‘out there plan’ actually had merit…if done right.
Warning: I don’t know; maybe language and innuendo somewhere along the way.
Timeline: season 3 ‘Graduation Day, Part 2’
Challenge: Again, this idea was brought to you by the forums. Somebody suggested making Oz a ‘Marty Stu’ ‘Edit: or Oz-centered. Because Oz makes everything awesome. With humus!’
Quote from: amusewithaview. Now for #7825 'Pummel him with humus'
by GeorgeandFred, despite not being a crossover.
A/N: Totally for fun, folks.
Thanks to my betas: zigpal, AerynSpeedleCaine and AshDawnSoulmates.
Disclaimer: BtVS characters belong to Joss Whedon / Mutant Enemy. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.
2 days before Graduation…
While the others were busy getting the rest of the student body prepared for the Graduation Day assault, Oz snuck away to the Home Ec-- sorry, the ‘Family Life Sciences’ room to get some assistance there.
It took a little convincing, but he managed to persuade them into spending their last hours in school making the largest batch of hummus ever made – outside a factory setting, that is. The only difference was that instead of pouring the olive oil in the center of the hummus, they mixed it into the mashed chickpeas.
What made this particular recipe of hummus unique was that the oil used was blessed just like holy water. Oz was just lucky that he had a favor to call in from the area bishop who was willing to bless a 55 gallon drum of olive oil.
The nice part was that Snyder didn’t even suspect anything when they set it out next to the graduation ceremony. He believed that it was simply there for an after-ceremony snack. The troll couldn’t understand why teenagers would want to eat so much of the stuff, but had long ago given up on trying to figure his students out.
When the eclipse signaled the start of the attack, a small group of students ran over to the tables with hummus on them and began grabbing handfuls of the stuff. One of them – who had seen ‘Animal House’
one too many times – thought it would be funny to yell ‘Food fight!’
as he threw his first load.
In retrospect, Oz wished (but not out loud) that he had videotaped the event. The looks on the vampires’ faces as the hummus hit them was priceless. When the Mayor ate Principal Snyder – who was the first to be hit by a lot
‘friendly fire’ – he consumed enough of the holy hummus that it burned him up from the inside out. It was like Buffy and Kralick with holy water all over again.
The only serious drawback was the smell of burning vampires and hummus mixed together made it impossible for any of the graduating class to ever enjoy the dip again. Unfortunately, since they didn’t need the explosives, the high school itself survived Graduation Day intact…if a little messy and slimy.
A/N: I realize that he isn’t quite a Marty Stu here, but Musie had to write the scene.