The "Not the story you were expecting" meme
Weird idea I had for a fanfic meme...
"Give me a brief story idea from one or more fandoms I'm likely to know, but don't NAME the fandom(s) and keep character names down to a mimimum e.g. Sam, Kara, etc. Avoid unique character names such as Legolas, Frodo, Superman, etc. and unique terms such as Wincest.
I will try to write a ficlet, drabble, or whatever that fulfils the letter of what you ask for but completely subverts the spirit - for example, someone asking for "Sam and Dean slash" might get a story in which Sam Gamgee becomes Dean Rusk's budget adviser..."
I tried to answer five prompts - the first three got stories, and two of them even had titles, the last two came late and I tried to answer them at about 2AM and they ended up as story fragments... I've made a few very small changes, to fix e.g. the part where I mixed east and west. If anyone else is stupid enough to try this meme, write the answers when you're awake!
All characters belong to their respective creators / media companies / etc., this story will self-destruct in ten seconds if you try to make a profit from it.
Sam, Bill, gunfightBill the Galactic Hero and the planet where he didn't get laid.
Sam Finn hastily slapped another magazine into her Desert Eagle and rolled out from under the Humvee to the cover of a large boulder. A bolt of virulent red energy flashed overhead as she moved, and the vehicle burst into flames.
"What is this?" shouted Bill, firing his own ray gun back towards the source of the beam, "Bowb your buddy week?"
The beam sparkled harmlessly as it hit the force field around the small tyrannosaur that was advancing towards them, and it shouted "It's nothing personal."
"Wasn't that a man five minutes ago?" shouted Sam.
"Must be a Chigger android," Bill called back. "Didn't know they could transform like that."
"What's a Chigger?"
"Little lizard things, about six inches tall. It'll be inside that thing's head, driving it."
In one fluid movement Sam rolled out from behind the rock and fired. The first bullet penetrated the force field as though it wasn't there, drilled a neat hole through the android's head, and emerged from the back. The second and third completed the job, with blood and gobbets of gore spraying out from the tiny alien driver.
"Bowb!" said Bill, "where did you learn to shoot like that?"
"Magic bullets," said Sam, blowing a wisp of smoke from the barrel of her gun, "don't leave home without them." She made a mental note to buy Willow an extra-special birthday present, and wondered how long it would take to get rid of the visitor. Bill might think he was some sort of galactic hero; to her he was just a time-travelling nuisance.BtVS / BtGH, the requester was expecting Sam Carter from Stargate and Bill Adama from BSG.
Kim, Simon, lost and found....or mineral
Harry Kim leaned on the counter, sighed, and said "It's a pink crystal about so big..." he gestured to indicate something roughly the size of his head, "weighs about eighty pounds. It's just heavily leaded quartz, but it has a lot of sentimental value."
"I'll have to check," said the clerk at the spaceport Lost and Found office, "but it doesn't ring any bells."
Behind Harry a tall man in a black uniform with Eye of Horus insignia was waiting to be served, and checked something on the data pad he always carried. Eighty pounds was all wrong for quartz, and pink was wrong for most leaded compounds, but the weight and colour was definitely right for Dilithium. And Dilithium was definitely his business, potentially more explosive than plutonium.
Simon Illyan touched a stylus to a series of numbers on his pad, and pretended to be immersed in his work. In a moment an Imp-Sec squad would arrive, and Harry Kim would face a lot of questions...Star Trek / Vorkosigan saga - Simon Templar was the only character expected.
Sarah and Millicent, The New Neighbors.
Millicent Dillmount looked out across the spacious grounds of her Los Angeles estate, and noticed a van unloading at one of the houses across the valley. According to the local paper there was a new family there, Sarah something-or-another and her teenage children. Another widow, like Millie herself, though probably a lot younger.
She got out her binoculars and took a closer look. An attractive woman in her forties, with a son and a daughter who seemed to be doing most of the work. They were unloading computers, and some heavy-looking long cases that Millie suspected might be guns.
As she watched the daughter stopped and seemed to look directly at her, across half a mile of valley. Millie drew back from the window, thinking that the blue glow in the girl's eyes must be a trick of the light.
Maybe after lunch she'd drive over and welcome her new neighbours, and find out more about Sarah... now what was that name again? and her children John and Cameron...Thoroughly Modern Millie / Terminator SCC; the request was apparently expecting Sarah Jane of Dr. Who fame and Millicent Bystander from the Aardman animated movie, Flushed Away
Harry, Alice - Another Dead Night In Old Chicago
We were trading ghost stories when Harry Purvis said "Did I ever tell you about my visit to Chicago?"
He drained the last of his pint and looked at it with mild surprise. From experience we knew that we'd hear nothing more until the glass was full. Eric bowed to the inevitable and bought another round.
"Cheers," said Harry. After a short pause he went on: "It happened that just before the war I was in a little town called Chicago on the East Cape of South Africa, and needed a lift to a town called Alice on the West Cape. Now you might think that Aberystwyth is dead on a Sunday night, but that's nothing compared to East Cape. It took me an hour to find a pub that was open, and...."Harry Purvis is the main raconteur from Arthur C. Clarke's "Tales From The White Hart," the requester was expecting Harry Dresden and Alice from the Resident Evil movies.
Victor takes Jack for a night on the town.
For an immortal, Captain Jack Sparrow had an uncanny knack for getting into trouble. No stranger to New York, he was delighted to offer to take Victor Von Doom on a tour of the town; he knew that the student was loaded, and hoped that some of it might come his way. He wasn't prepared for the trail of death and destruction that was to follow...Marvel / Pirates of the Caribbean - the requester expected Torchwood / Dollhouse