Banned and Busty
Summary: “Look at my floatation device!” Maybe there’s a better way for Buffy to say that to Snyder.
Warning: I don’t know; maybe language and innuendo somewhere along the way.
Timeline: season 2 BtVS ‘Halloween’
A/N: Just the first in group of oneshots for Halloween 2010.
Thanks to my betas: zigpal, AerynSpeedleCaine and AshDawnSoulmates.
Disclaimer: BtVS characters belong to Joss Whedon / Mutant Enemy. Baywatch characters belong to Michael Berk, Douglas Schwartz, Gregory J. Bonann and NBC. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.
After listening to her daughter and her friends debate who to dress up as for Halloween, Joyce offered her suggestion, “If you want my opinion, you three should go as real life heroes instead of somebody like Superman or Wonder Woman.”
Xander looked up from his bowl of freshly-popped popcorn. “Like who, Mrs. S?”
“Police officer, firefighters, medical personnel…that sort of thing,” Joyce said.
“Actually, I like the idea,” Willow announced after considering it. Buffy shrugged noncommittally, not really caring one way or the other.
Getting into the plan, Xander practically shouted, “I call dibs on the firefighter!”
Willow glared at him, feeling her inner-Gloria Steinem rebel. “Isn’t that a little sexist? I think we should put them into a hat and draw for them,” she declared, using her resolve-face to stop any arguments.~~~~~~
They moved up to Buffy’s room to do the drawing, and therefore were out of earshot of her mom.
“How ironic after last spring that I’m a lifeguard,” Buffy commented with a slight shudder.
Xander’s eyes glazed over at the image of the Buffster in a swimsuit…or better yet, a bikini! “You got lifeguard? I officially love
Leaning over, Buffy gave him a light slap on the back of his head. “Control yourself, Xan. I’m not going to take a bunch of kids out dressed only in a swimsuit. I’ll have to wear a windbreaker and shorts over it.”
“Now you’ve broken my heart,” he declared dramatically, clutching at his chest. Then he held up his slip and waved it in Willow’s face. “Guess I’ll have to settle for being a firefighter.”
Since he got it in a fair draw, Willow wasn’t upset anymore. When she pulled her slip out, she breathed a huge sigh of relief, “Oh, thank goodness I got EMT. I really didn’t want to be a police officer and carry a gun.”
“Don’t you find it funny that she can carry swords and crossbows, but gets freaked out at the idea of a fake
gun?” Xander asked Buffy, laughing at the redhead with affection.
Willow defended her stance, “But I usually just hold those other weapons for Buffy until she needs them; I don’t have to use them myself.”
When Snyder saw the Scoobies, he screamed, “Summers! What do you think you’re wearing?”
Buffy whispered to the other two, “Is that a trick question?” She spoke up as she turned back to the troll, “I’m a lifeguard, Principal Snyder. See my rescue can?” she asked, holding up the obligatory lifeguard gear.
“This is unacceptable! Detention for one week! Go home before the children see you!” Snyder kept screaming, almost frothing at the mouth in anger.
Still completely bewildered, Buffy inquired, “Why?”
Snyder glared at her as if she were stupid. “Because your outfit is indecent!”
Since it was fairly obvious that he wasn’t going to be reasonable about this, Buffy shrugged her shoulders and waved goodbye to her friends. Maybe she could have some fun at the Bronze while she waited for Xander and Willow to finish.
After she was gone, Willow protested, “She’s fully covered, sir. And her clothes aren’t even skin-tight like some other costumes,” she pointed at Cordelia who was strutting by in her cat costume.
Shaking his clipboard at them, Snyder snapped, “That doesn’t matter! The logo on the jacket is from that ‘Baywatch’ show. It’s practically pornographic!” He neglected to say that he had all the episodes on video or DVD.
Buffy glanced down at her newly-enhanced chest. Fortunately, her costume was one of the less ‘gifted’ lifeguards, and her cup size only increased by one size. The idea caused her to chuckle. The same couldn’t be said for Aura; the poor girl must have gone as CJ Parker. It looked like she had built-in floatation devices now, and nobody believed her when she said she didn’t have a boob job.
A/N: Just a little fun to kick off the Halloween season.