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The past comes back

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This story is No. 1 in the series "Family". You may wish to read the series introduction first.

Summary: Sometimes, secrets gets uncovered and the past comes back. Sometimes it is for the better, and sometimes, it can make you question everything you know.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > Sons of Anarchy
Multiple Crossings > Buffy-Centered
CherryCloverFR1840114,589810255,4199 Oct 1014 Sep 13No

Chapter Thirty-Nine

I do not own Buffy or the Sons of Anarchy, or any other character that I might use. I am also going to play it loose with time-lines and stuff.

This chapter is longtime coming enjoy!



I can tell you two points in my life that made me the person that I am today. The first set me into the path I took and the second shaped me into the man I am today… And killed any warmth I had.

I’ve done a lot of things in my life that I’m not proud of, but I never looked back. I didn’t see the point. The past was painful, and filled with shit!

And after all these years there was hope. Hope for something that I’ve stomped out so completely that I’ve forgotten what hope felt like. Yet I pushed it aside and made a deal with the devil. Doing something that I’ve once vowed never to touch…

In a way I’ve put everything into the club. It’s became my life, but I know that times are changing, I’m getting old and Gemma’s been hinting at letting Jax take over.

Problem is, after all this time I had nothing to show for it… And a part of me is bitter…

The last prison trip was a wakeup call… And in a second of desperation I made the deal. Money was something that I need to retire, a back up when things go south… Already my hands are going and even if some of the therapies helped, there was no stopping it. For the first time in almost forty years I can see an end coming in the never ending dark passage. And it’s a fucking scary thought…

There’s no going back now and if we pulled it through, there’s going to be money for all.

If only I can convince my gut that it’s for the better.

***

The strip joint was one of Lenny’s side businesses. How this guy runs his business while still in prison is beyond me. But I need answers, answers that only Owens had.

It was the middle of the day, so there weren’t many around, but there was still one girl dancing on stage. I was led through to the back and I could see the muscles standing outside the office. I knew I couldn’t kill Owens, I had promised Lenny that I won’t.

“Marrow.” I look up to the man that called my name and I felt my blood slowly start to rise. I clinch and unclench my fist.

“Owens” I can see him fidget and I can tell that I made him uncomfortable and nervous. But what he tells me in the next few minutes will decide on how badly I hurt him.

We sit down around a table and he pours me a drink and I gave him one look as he proceeded to down his glass and pour another. I take a healthy drink of mine and look to him again. The door shuts behind me, leaving me and Owens alone with me.

“I didn’t know the baby was yours… Fuck! I didn’t even know it was a girl. I was seventeen, a runner for some gang based in California. We were hired muscle and Jimmy-O paid us quite well, but I was young and they said I was too green. So I was put to use as a runner for them and others. The afternoon when Jimmy gave me the baby I didn’t question it when he told me to take the baby to someone who will take it… The person never pitched up and I was later given another address to go to. It was a well-known brothel…” He looked at me and I took a huge inhale of air, but what told me next was not what I expected. “We never made it there… I thought it was weird that the kid hasn’t made a sound and when I checked it wasn’t breathing. The baby had stopped breathing.” I tightened by hand around the glass and downed the rest of the drink. Owens poured me more.

“I freaked out and drove to the nearest hospital and left the baby there. I told the people later that the baby died and I had taken care of the body... I’m sorry Clay.” I can see his hands shaking as he downed this next drink. But it was nothing compared to what I was feeling.

The fledgling of hope I had and the thought of just the possibility died and I felt cold.

I should have expected this; I knew a part of me knew this. She was too small too weak to have made it, but the minute Jimmy told me that she was alive I had hoped. And that is the worst thing to be crushed, when you’ve had none for so long.

“Where?” I managed to ground out.

“California General, around eight in the evening.” I get up downed the drink and threw the glass against the wall behind him and lunged. I just had to do it.

As my fist connected with his face I could feel the rage subside just a bit, but it wasn’t enough, but has it ever been enough? The muscles outside came storming in and held me back. Owens stopped them from hitting me and was let go.

I glare at him, ignoring the muscles. “Don’t ever come into Charming and stay clear of my way. I won’t promise Lenny a second time round.” I threatened as I left.

As I rode on the highway making my way back towards Charming I made the decision to find out what had happened to the baby’s body. Even if she’s dead at least I can find out where she’s buried and to visit, to finally lay this part of my past to rest. Maybe then it will be time to tell Gemma and let everything go. God knows we all need a bit of a closure.

I knew for a fact that there was no way I could get hold of information from twenty years ago. And I doubt they will take kindly to me storming the place and demanding answers. As I drove past the beach, something caught my eye. A private investigation sign up and an idea came to me. Slowly I made to stop and I just sat there staring at the place. It ended with a guy coming to me and we sat and chatted. He will only be paid once I got the information and that was fair enough, but it was pricy. Apparently he is good hence no deposit and he never did things by halves, so I told him I hope for his sake he better be worth it. When I hired the guy I never thought I would get my answer in less than two weeks.

*
Something happened in that last prison stint; something that screwed with Clay’s head. He’s different, bad different. Making deals with the Mexicans and going into things that he had promised to never get into. And he won’t listen to anyone.

Not Bobby, Piney, Jax… me, no one. And now… Now it’s a done deal. The club would be running drags to the Mayans.

Oh how the club has fallen and those who can see, can see what’s coming. Clay’s downward spiral that’s going to finally drag the club into the ground…

He’s not the man I had once fallen for, despite my marital status at the time, I did love him. He was what kept me sane and kept me not going after John and those sluts he slept with. He made sure that I didn’t end up as one of those pathetic women who waited on their husbands, thinking on happier days. He gave me a purpose at my lowest and for that I’ll always be grateful to him.

But something had snapped after he took care of John… I know he killed him, I had gotten Usner to falsify the police reports and made it look like an accident, even going as far as cremating the body before the autopsy - to hide the bullet wound - an unfortunate incident of mistaken identity.

I don’t regret that. John was going mad at the time and his uncertainty and nervousness was doing shit to Jax and after just loosing Thomas I wasn’t about to lose another child. It was the right thing to do. It had brought the club back to its status and life had been good. Sure there were bumps in the road, but we pulled through and had gotten stronger. But now… Now it’s Clay’s turn to go rogue and cause issues.

But Clay wasn’t the only one who changed. The incident made me cold and I started to hit the bottles to numb the pain. And in that process I lost another child. Something died in me when Thomas passed; I made a vow and a mission was born. No one mattered more than Jax. He will be my priority, and everything I did after that was for him. And nothing can stand in my way. Not John’s sudden ideal changes, not the police or other gangs, and not Clay who had come back. My son became my priority. But I was realistic, I’m not one of those women who can do nine to five jobs and give everything up just so that I can try to keep my son from the life that has taken so much, but also given me everything. So I made the call to keep Jax in this life, raising him with the Sons… I won’t deny that I like the power that came with being first John’s old lady and then Clay’s, and it made me smile to think that I’ll one day be the mother of the future president. Everything was done so that Jax can one day take over the club that his father built. It’s his birth right and it’s in his blood. And no one can stand in the way of that…

It’s time Clay steps down and let Jax take the lead… It’s time that Jax sits at the head of the table.

*

The call came a day after we came back from our first drug run.

{I have what you asked for and more… I’ll give you everything for five grand.}

“That’s more than double what we agreed on.”

{Oh trust me, once you hear this, you’ll pay for the other half. Just make sure you have the money.} I grunt at the phone and thought for a bit.

“Fine. Meet me at the same place in three hours.” And the phone went dead. I had three grand put aside for this, but I needed the other two. Bobby will ask questions and Gemma will know that there’s money missing, so I waited till everyone had left, before going to the safe and taking the extra cash. It ain’t like I was stealing; it’ll be taken from my share of the next gun run which is in two days. But the information can’t wait.

*

I watched from the window as Clay took some money from the safe. It was Club money and part of me knew that Clay won’t steal from the club, fucking hell he was the club. But it was suspicious. He could have told Bobby and he would have gladly let him borrow it, but the fact that he didn’t made me nervous.
I watched as he left the club house on his bike, so I followed. It was harder then it looked; trying not to get found out by the man. I took a car rather than the bike. Once we were on the highway I took a gamble that he was heading to California and took another route and waited at a junction that he would have to pass. I got there just in time to see him pass and I followed again. He finally stopped at a beach and I parked my car and got as close as I could. Clay sat on a bench overlooking the beach for ten minutes before another guy joined him. I couldn’t hear them, but I could see them. The man handed him a folder.

*
“So you going to tell me why the money suddenly doubled?” Clay sat, looking straight into the waves.

“A baby girl was dropped off at California General on the nineteenth of Jan 19- at around eight in the evening. She wasn’t breathing, but the doctors were able to resuscitate her. The girl was never given a name and was moved into NICU... At the time there was one other baby girl in the NICU. Both babies’ had the same heart condition, gradually both of the babies got better. And was later determined that surgery was not need for. The unnamed girl was doing well and they were considering putting her into the adoption system.”

I took a deep breath. He paused, took out a smoke and carries on.

“A month after the unnamed baby’s arrival there was a fire in the South wing of the hospital, during the confusion one of the babies died. Apparently it was the unnamed girl.” Pausing again as he lit the smoke.

“Apparently?” I questioned.

“The father of the other baby somehow got the hospital to release the dead baby’s body to him. He said on the record that he felt bad and wanted to do something for the baby…” He took out a photo with a small head stone. The name got my attention. “He changed the name of the baby he was taking home and then put that name on the grave stone. Joanne Mary Summers was buried in a small well-kept cemetery. The nuns that run the place say that the father visits the grave at least once a year until a few years ago and the mother didn’t visit until years later.”

“What are you saying?” Something stirred in me, something that I had made myself squash when I left Owens.

“When she was fifteen, she was committed in a psychiatric hospital and during that time, the mother did a paternity with her oldest. It wasn’t a match. It coincided with nun’s time frame of when the mother started showing up.”

I need a drink, fuck! I need something hard. I’ve heard that name in passing and that last name was too much of a coincidence.

“She has quite a history… There were some juvie records, but nothing that could stick, even when she burned down the high school gym when she was fifteen the affected spoke up for her. There is a list of things, it’s all in here.” He handed me a folder. “Look she lived in Sunnydale, most of the records from there were destroyed. It took some really creative ways to find what I did, and I can tell you. I won’t be doing anything on this girl again. She’s being protected, really well protected. Whatever she did, it’s all been cleared. What I was able to get was from some disgruntled cops who used to live in Sunnydale. The cops sure didn’t like her and her friends.” At that I found myself smiling.

“Look, everything that I could find it’s in there with two photos that I found with school records. She literally disappeared after Sunnydale collapsed and then showed up nearly a year later taking college classes. Has a degree in Physiotherapy, and then it just gets weird.” I raised an eyebrow at him “Every time I tried to look where she is currently working, one thing or another happens. Finally when I got someone I knew to look. They told me that she has a confidentiality clause with the US government. That’s something that only happens if she’s worked on some top secret operation. And they had refused to help me further, so I dropped it.” I look to the folder and then pulled a brown envelope out of my Jacket. He skims through the envelope, nods and leave. I have a feeling that I’ll probably never see this guy again and I was fine with that.

I stared down at the folder and just sat there for what felt like hours until I finally gave in. Everything was there, well at least everything before she moved to Sunnydale and spotty things from Sunnydale police. I read her life and for a while it seems she was living the perfect California dream, great family, good marks and a Cheerleader. Then everything changed when she turned fifteen. I wonder what happened. But whatever had happened in Sunnydale is now behind her; she’s doing well, in a decent job and has a family that supports her. Of course I’ve heard from Gemma about the ‘father’, probably lost interest when she changed and didn’t want to deal with shit that wasn’t even from his own flesh and blood. What a fucking piece of work, but he’s out of the picture.

There were only two photos of her. One from when she was little. First grade I would guess. And the other was her in a cheerleading outfit. Probably from just before what ever happened to change her.

I sat there looking and reading the files over. The guy even gave me a background on Hank and Joyce Summers. Turns out the Summers name belonged to Joyce, apparently she was from a big family with connections, so Hank decided to take his wife’s name after they married. What a pussy. He also had a string of affairs all the while married. He’s now remarried and has another family. Completely ignoring the daughters from the previous marriage and if the files are right. He was the one that swapped the babies. To dessert her after taking her… It made my blood boil. But I should also be grateful I suppose. At least she didn’t end up in the system.

It was nearly evening when I finally decided to leave. But I knew I couldn’t take the file with me, it was too risky and the one picture of her would have been too obvious if someone found it, so I pocketed the photo from when she was little and set the file on fire. I watched as it burned to ashes before leaving towards my bike.

I’ll never approach her. That much I’ve decided from the moment I knew who she was and as much as Gemma deserves to know I couldn’t risk it. Gemma… Gemma won’t be able to stay away and part of me knew about her protectiveness and borderline obsession of her boys. Even now, I knew that she would choose Jax over me and to her I ain’t family. Jax and Abel are her only family and even if she’s cordial with Tara, as long as Tara doesn’t cross Gemma, then it’s fine…

She wasn’t always like this. Losing the twins and then Thomas hit her hard and she had latched on to the only child she had left and part of me never stopped it. I always felt that it wasn’t my place I didn’t want to replace my children, so I didn’t see the harm in letting Gemma raise Jax how she wanted and even if he had turned out more like John than I would’ve liked, there are major differences between father and son. And for that I’m forever grateful. But now it’s my time to protect something that I’ve lost over twenty-seven years ago - Hope and someone worth living for.

She had her own life now, she’s happy… with babies- Shit! I’m going to be a grandpa twice over... I let out a chuckle. No, I won’t take that away and I ain’t putting her in danger again because of me… No, this time I’ll protect her. She’s going to be close; Gemma said that she’s settling in Charming. I’ll get to see her, and I’ll see my grandkids grow, even if they won’t know it.

It’s enough.



:D

So Clay knows. And I gave you a bit more into Gemma's mind set and both of their motivation and feelings. And yes Gemma isn't going to find out not for a long while. Let's put it this way I have an idea of how she finds out, but its after season 5 ;P (And subjected to change)

And I'm bringing another SOA character into the weird.... But good luck figuring out who LOL. I'm trying to do another chapter without names, so bare with me. ;)

Hope you enjoyed it!

Thanks for reading!

Please review!!!!!!
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