Disclaimer: I don’t own either Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Pitch Black, Fast and the Furious, or The Pacifier. Though I wish I did. If I owned any would have been a greater vision of the hot boys making out in them. I am not making any money in the writing of this fanfiction. I’d like to thank my beta CorruptedSmile for not only helping make this better but listening to the dream that started it all.
He had to be dreaming; he was sure of it. There was just no other way. One minute he was sleeping in his nice warm bed and the next, a brilliant white light had enveloped him. And now he was standing in a mirrored room surrounded by quadruplets.
“Oh, crap,” he said out loud, looking from one man to another.
‘Oh, wow,’ he thought to himself, checking over the men surrounding him.
One of the—admittedly very
buff—men sauntered over to him and gave him the onceover.
“What’s your name?” he asked in a gravelly voice.
Xander squeaked as he backed away from the alpha-male-ness the man in front of him exuded. He cleared his throat and answered, “Alexander Harris. But you can call me Xander.”
The man chuckled. “Hey, X, this boy shares your name.”
The quad wearing blue jeans and a black tank chuckled. “Let us introduce ourselves to you.”
“Call me Dom,” the quad in the blue jeans and white shirt said.
“Riddick’s the name,” the man wearing grey cargo’s and a black tank said.
“Just call me Shane,” the man in brown cargo’s and white shirt said.
“And I’m Xander. But you can call me X, seeing as we have the same name,” the man wearing blue jeans and a black tank told Xander.
Xander looked from one face to another face, trying to spot some kind of difference; any
kind of difference. “This is not happening. I must be dreaming.” He pinched his side and jumped at the pain. “Why didn’t I wake up?!”
“Don’t hurt yourself trying to find any differences between us; it’s not possible. We’re identical quads.” Shane smirked at having figured out why Xander was looking at them so closely. “How did you get here?”
Xander looked down at his pyjama clad legs, looked back and then glanced around the room without answering.
He was still wearing the plaid pyjama bottoms and the grey tank top he had gone to bed in. He also had his running shoes on and was wearing an unbuttoned blue shirt over his tank. How that had happened he couldn’t figure out, because he certainly hadn’t gone to bed in them.
“I had just gone to bed after a long day filled with hard work and patrolling. My hometown isn’t the safest; lots of gangs on PCP running around and making things difficult for the citizens,” he answered quietly, trying to remember exactly what had happened that day. “I was in this half-awake state when I heard a buzzing noise and then next thing I know, a bright white light flashed and I was here. I was transported, I guess, but by what or whom and why, I don’t know.”
At that comment, all four men straightened from the semi-slouches they had adopted while listening to Xander.
“You must have the escape mechanism then,” Shane said excitedly.
“Huh? Escape mechanism? What are you talking about?” Xander asked, looking at them blankly. He looked from face to face and saw the understanding looks on their faces.
‘Oh, hell no!’ he thought furiously.
“Aw, crap. You’re going to try to eat me, fuck me or kill me, aren’t you?”
He got his answer when he had to begin ducking underneath grasping arms, weaving between the heavily-muscled bodies that were trying to close him in.
In the end, he dove under Riddick’s outstretched arm, vaulted over Dom and, using Shane’s shoulder as a springboard, he leapt through the gap in the top left hand corner he had noticed when he was first dumped in the mirrored room.
Looking back, Xander saw the four men banging on the walls of the room near the exit point; trying to find out where the gap was that he had left through.
‘Huh, neat,’ Xander thought happily, enjoying the view for a second. ‘One-way mirrors really are as cool as they are made out to be in movies.’
Turning away from the men, he gave the place he had landed in a considering look. He appeared to be in a huge cave system with plenty of tunnels leading away from the room he was standing in. The ground was hard-packed earth and light came through tiny cracks in the walls. Giving the light a closer look, he noticed that only certain tunnels had light; others were pitch black.
Taking in everything, a plan was beginning to form in his mind when a grunt from behind him caught his attention. Looking back, he saw Riddick’s head come through the gap between the mirrors.
Riddick—thankfully—seemed to be having problems getting himself out.
‘I guess having broad shoulders can do that,’ Xander thought. ‘And this would be my cue to get the hell out of here.’
Giving one last glance back, he took off down one of the tunnels that had light coming through the cracks in the walls.
“You can run, but you can’t hide, Xander! My brothers and I will eventually find you!” Riddick called out to him, waiting impatiently for his brothers to come through the gap.
“Not if I can help it!” Xander called back before he disappeared from Riddick’s view.
“Hurry up! He’s getting away!” Xander heard Riddick urge the other on.
Settling for a silent but fast pace, Xander ran down the tunnel and didn’t look back once.
‘What do you know?’ he thought. ‘All that demon hunting these last few years are finally paying off. Not only am I silent, I’m also fast.’
While following the lights, he rounded several corners before he came to the end of the tunnel. Blinking rapidly, he tried to get used to the bright sunlight.
Studying his surroundings, he noticed that he was standing at the top of a cliff.
The cliff jutted out several meters and actually looked really similar to a certain movie that he had watched several years ago called The Lion King.
“It looks just like Pride Rock,” he muttered.
Shaking his head, he walked cautiously towards the end of the cliff—stopping a good foot away from it—and looked down. About twenty meters below, he saw a river in gorgeous greens and blues. Following the river with his eyes, he noticed that the water seemed to spring from a glacier a bit further away.
Having forgotten for minute why he was running away, he looked up quickly when he suddenly heard the men who were still chasing him again.
“He took the second turn!” he heard Riddick yell loudly. “And at this junction he went left!”
“Damn it, Riddick, how can you tell?”
“Because I can smell him, Shane.”
Xander shivered. ‘Damn, if Riddick could smell the path I took, I need to find my own personal stink-be-gone. But what can I use?’
The voices kept getting closer and just when he was entertaining the idea of finding a way down to the river, the four emerged from the tunnel he had come through minutes before; effectively trapping him on the cliff.
“You don’t want to do this,” Xander called to them, backing up until he was really standing at the end of the cliff.
“Just give us the return mechanism,” all four said in unison.
A shiver slid down Xander’s spine and as they began to advance, he started to toe off his running shoes.
They stopped and looked at him confused.
Sliding off his button-up shirt, he now stood before the quadruplets in only his tank top, pyjama pants and socks.
Four identical looks of stunned disbelief could be found on their faces.
“What are you doing?! Get away from there!” X demanded.
He was the first to motion the others to step back. Dom and Shane stop immediately, but Riddick just snarled in X’s direction and continued to walk forward.
Not giving a second thought to what X had just demanded, Xander stepped back even more until finally he was balancing on his toes on the edge of the cliff. Spreading his arms, Xander gave the four men a wicked grin and took one final step back.
A loudly yelled “no!” was the last thing he heard before the freezing cold river water closed above his head and muffled all sound.
The minute Xander crashed into the river, his breath was stolen away.
‘That’s okay, though,’ he thought hysterically, ‘I don’t need to breathe at the moment, anyway.’ Getting his bearings, he started to swim upwards. ‘Now, if only the water wasn’t so damn cold. If the pinch in the side hadn’t convinced me that this wasn’t a dream, then this would have: I wouldn’t be dumb enough to have cold water in my own dream! I’d make it a nice and warm. And way to go with the babbling, Xan. And now I'm arguing with myself. That’s just great.’
As soon as he reached the surface, he took a deep breath of fresh air before his teeth started chattering enough to make breathing an issue again.
Looking up, he saw that the four men were looking down the edge of the cliff; following his every move with their eyes. With the exception of Riddick, they all still had a stunned look on their faces. On Riddick’s face, however, he could see the anticipation of the chase; the thrill he was getting out of hunting could be seen clearly.
Actively involved in getting to the side—because the water was freaking cold
!—Xander began to swim downstream; all the time scanning both sides of the river for a place where he could climb on dry land again. Getting help from the flow of the river, he kept swimming until he reached a clearing surrounded by trees. Finally finding purchase for his feet and hands, he climbed up until he was sitting in the dirt; quickly turning said dirt into mud thanks to the water that was sluicing off him.
Having finally dragged his entire body on the shore, he stripped out of his soaked tank and pyjama pants; wringing the water out of them and hanging them to dry on one of the lower-hanging branches of one the trees. He stood shivering in his boxers, trying to decide whether or not to try to light a fire.
Stripping off his sodden boxer shorts and socks as well, he wrung them out before sliding the boxers back on. He put the wet socks next to his pyjama pants on the tree before looking for firewood.
After collecting as much loose wood and flammable grasses as he could, he set about making a fire with a small stick and the power of his own hands. He twirled the stick between his palms, blowing on it lightly as the heat built up and, finally, created a spark. As the stick burst into flames, he fed it the dry grasses and smaller pieces of wood he had collected before adding the bigger pieces.
Seeing that the fire was finally big enough to dry his clothes, he glanced around and, seeing that he was alone, stripped entirely. After putting his damp boxers next to his other wet clothes, he stretched out and relaxed beside the fire, warming himself up; the entire time keeping his ears open for any and all signs that would suggest he was still being followed.
The warmth of the fire finally made him drowsy enough to fall into an uneasy sleep. Early the next morning, he rose after being awoken by some noise—animal, his mind suggest—again and got dressed. Looking at his socks, he briefly lamented the loss of his running shoes before putting them in his pocket.
Cleaning up his makeshift campsite—he didn’t want to give his followers any extra clues to make tracking him easier, after all—he took to the trees.
Yes, you read it correctly: the trees. He didn’t want the other men to have any more advantages than they already had and the trees seemed to be his best bet for keeping his advantage.
Seeing a pile of animal dung on one of the branches, he neatly side-stepped it.
‘I’m not that
desperately trying not to smell like me,’ he thought while doing so.
Seeing clear sap dribbling down a few of the tree trunks, he grinned widely.
‘Ah, my own personal stink-be-gone,’ he thought happily. ‘Clear sap without any scent. Perfect.’
He quickly rubbed it into his skin.
Having just rubbed the sap into his skin, he looked up when he heard the snap of a twig breaking underneath a foot. Looking into the direction of the river, he saw three soaking wet men—no, duh, Xander!—climbing up; the fourth was already standing and yelling down at them.
“Hurry your asses up! He has a whole night’s travel on us. If you hadn’t been such a pussy, Dom, about jumping off that damn cliff, we could have caught him already,” Riddick told his brother.
“Well excuse me for not having had to jump off a cliff before and being cautious about that,” Dom snarled. “I’ve leapt from moving car to moving car, but never off a fucking cliff. Besides, it’s not like we didn’t need to rest anyway. For fuck’s sake, Riddick, we were all tolling on our feet.”
All four were finally standing in the clearing where only minutes before Xander had tried to clear away every sign of him staying there the night before.
“He’s here,” Shane suddenly said.
“How do you know that?” Dom asked.
Shane shrugged. “I don’t know how I know; I just do.”
“I know he’s here too. I can smell him. His scent ends here,” Riddick told them. He turned to look at X. “What about you, X?”
“He tried to clear away all signs of him staying here, but I know that he hid his fire pit under that branch there and I see the mark his wet clothes left on the dry branches of that tree,” X answered. He looked around the clearing and smirked. “Wouldn’t you like to have your shoes and shirt back, little one? We’ll even be nice and dry them for you.”
Glaring at X, Xander tried to keep control of his temper, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to do anything against those four guys if they caught him. For the time being, staying hidden was the best thing he could do.
Leaving X to his Xander baiting, Riddick walked to the spot X had told them Xander had hidden his fire pit.
“How could I have missed this?” he asked surprised. “I could smell the smoke, but I didn’t think anything of it.”
“I see things,” X said, waving a hand dismissively at the comment.
Xander’s head snapped up at that comment.
‘Could it be? No. There was just no way. There can’t be another One Who Sees,’ he thought.
Riddick smirked. “He’s here, all right.” He looked at his brothers. “I say we set up camp here. Even I'm fucking cold.”
Shrugging at each other, they all helped him set up camp as well as they could with their limited resources before stripping and putting down their clothes to dry; much as Xander had done the night before.
Looking from man to another, Xander shook his head in disbelief. Standing up as quietly as possible, he quickly slipped from tree to tree, moving away from the camp and disappearing into the forest.
As soon as he thought he had left the range of Riddick’s enhanced senses, Xander swung down from the tree and took off running. He ran until he had to stop to sleep, at which point he found himself another tree to spend the night in.
A couple of hours later, he woke up to the faint sounds of yelling coming from the direction of the river.
‘Wow, those guys must have some set of lungs on them for me to be able to hear them all the way to here,’ he thought.
“What do you mean he's gone?!”
“He was here a couple of hours ago!”
“You’re supposed to be this badass tracker, Richard.”
“And you’re a marine, Shane! How could you
let him go?! Get dressed. We have to go get him.”
Giggling and stretching, Xander took off again.
‘What the hell is this exit mechanism, anyway, that those guys were talking about?! I’m not wearing any jewellery and I’m absolutely sure that I don’t have anything hidden in my pockets—except for my socks. And they have my shirt and shoes which means that it—whatever it is—can’t be in that either.’
A sudden crash from behind him sent Xander scurrying for the trees again.
He had just found a place to sit when he saw a deer running full tilt underneath his tree with Riddick chasing it. He watched awed as the man took a running leap and, using a until-then-hidden shiv, slit the deer’s throat before calling for his brothers to join him.
Waiting for them, he calmly set out to skin the deer; slicing the meat into pieces while he was at it.
Seeing that Riddick was busy with the meat, the others set about collecting wood again; quickly starting another fire.
Choosing Dom to cook the meat, everyone settled in; quietly waiting for the food to be ready.
Xander sat quietly in his tree while they were eating, very much aware that his new tree didn’t give as much cover as his previous ones. Hearing his stomach growling quietly at the smell of food, he hoped that it wasn’t heard by any of the men.
Figuring he should try to find out what they wanted with him exactly, he took the time to study his enemy while they were too busy concentrating on something other than him for once.
Dom was the easiest to figure out: he was the easy-going kind of man; the one who went along with everything Riddick said—except for jumping off a cliff. Xander could, however, also spot the hint of a bigger temper than he had already seen.
Shane was also simple: he also mostly went along for the ride, but in him Xander saw a side that was thrilled at being able to hunt.
And then Riddick . . . Well, he was a whole other animal. The leftover piece of the hyena possession made Xander able to smell the alpha in the other man. Frankly, it scared the shit out of him.
Xander’s eyes strayed to X. Xander knew that the man was an adrenaline junkie. The tattoos, the attitude, . . . It all screamed that he lived for the thrills life could give him. He could practically visualise the look X would wear when, for example, jumping off a cliff; that look of pure rapture wasn’t difficult to imagine. But there was also something else there; something born of compassion. Not that Xander couldn’t see compassion in the others; they just hid it better.
As Xander was studying X, the man in question lifted his head and stared straight at him. Starting, he almost fell out of his tree. A cocked head and a smirk was all the indication Xander got that X had seen that.
Still smirking, X leaned back, raised an eyebrow and ever so slightly rubbed his belly in the universal I-am-hungry sign.
Seeing that, Xander raised an eyebrow and gave a cautious nod, pointedly not looking anywhere below X’s hand.
Nodding back, X turned his attention back to his brothers; a mischievous smile on his face.
Xander was stunned. This man, who had been chasing him since yesterday, wasn't going to turn him in. On the contrary, X seemed to be having fun with all this.
“Where the fuck is he?!” Shane demanded to know.
“God damn it! I can't even smell him in this jungle! Certainly not after that dip in the river.” Riddick griped.
“I want a fucking car—no, make that a motorcycle. I want to be able to weave amongst these fucking trees instead of walking or running,” Dom complained.
“Guys? Maybe we can work together. What is this escape mechanism he carries, anyway?” X asked. “Shouldn’t we try to find out more about that first? Because we can try to capture him all we want, but if we don’t know what to do then . . .”
Trailing off, he shrugged lightly at the stunned looks his brothers were wearing.
‘So, Shane just wants to know where I am while Riddick hates the fact that the water has washed my scent away; he knows nothing of the sap then which is a good thing. Dom hates that he has to walk and X is trying to help me.’
These new thoughts tumbled around Xander’s mind while he watched X place another large piece of deer meat on the fire.
The others looked curiously at X and he shrugged. “For later when I get hungry again.”
The other three agreed that that wasn’t such a bad idea and soon three more pieces followed.
“He’s the escape mechanism,” Riddick finally answered X’s question. “His whole body is the mechanism.”
“So, what you’re saying, is that he will help us get home . . . when we sleep with him?” Shane clarified, looking at Riddick.
“Um, guys, if we would have just asked him in the first place instead of chasing him maybe we would have been home by now,” X pointed out to them. “I’m sure that he just wants to go home too.”
“Yeah, but what kind of guy would do that willingly with another guy?” Riddick asked him. “Only slam bitches do that.”
Shane shook his head. “No, Richard, it’s not always about pain. It can be the most pleasurable thing a guy can do to another guy.”
Riddick stared at him confused.
“Besides, Richard, if you hadn’t noticed: we are hot,” X told him laughingly as he placed a hand on his shoulder.
Dom laughed. “Ain’t that the truth.”
Shane frowned. “Really? I hadn’t thought about that.”
!” Dom and X chorused together.
Then they laughed together as well.
“But I'm so big; so dangerous . . . Everyone is afraid of me,” Riddick told them.
“Dude, all four of us are roughly the same size. Dom, you ever had any problems?” X asked.
“Nope,” Dom replied, popping the p sound. “Never with girls nor with theboys when I was in jail.” He threw a significant look at Riddick. “It was a long three years, Richard, or I wouldn’t have taken a partner.”
Riddick stared at his brother in amazement.
“And me? Well, I'm famous. I get the pussy or the stick just offered to me.” X told them. “Sometime I take it and sometimes I don’t.”
“If you say so, X,” Riddick and Shane said at the same time, rolling their eyes.
X stood up and walked to his clothes. “Now, let me get the boy, Richard. I can get to him faster and without scaring him. He will probably co-operate better when it’s only me.”
Despite grumbling and growling about it for a good five minutes, Riddick eventually agreed that that would probably be best.
Having followed the conversation closely, Xander had quickly figured out that he wouldn’t be making it any easier for them. Slipping out of his tree, he took off again before he even saw X get up and get dressed.
Making it to a clearing, he hid in a bush. He could still hear them arguing about who was going to do what to him. He shook his head exasperatedly.
‘Seems like Riddick can’t get his head out of his ass and let someone else in control for once,’ he thought. Circling the clearing, he quickly noticed that he was actually in a field now. An open field with little to no cover expect for a few small bushes. ‘Crap! What am I going to do now?’
Suddenly all the air left Xander’s lungs as something bowled him over from behind, knocking him over and planting him face-first into the ground. After taking a minute or so to catch his breath, he turned to see what had knocked him over.
And there he was: X. Correction: a smiling X who was still sitting on top of him despite him turning over!
‘Couldn’t he at least have acted like he had trouble when I turned over?!' Xander thought to himself, glaring up.
Hopping up at last, X offered a helping hand to Xander before offering him his shoes, shirt and the slab of dear meat he had cooked earlier. “Here. Now, run along.”
And with that remark, he disappeared into the woods again.
“Ha!” Xander snorted. “He wished he could be all cryptic. Like I don’t know what’s going on.”
Eating rapidly—and god, didn’t it feel good to have a not-empty stomach again—he pulled out his socks and put them and his running shoes back on again before shrugging into his shirt. Taking once last look around, he began to walk again.
‘Why would X let me go? Why would he turn on his brothers?’ Xander thought while walking. He shook his head at his own naivety. ‘Of course he didn’t turn on his brothers. He’s trying to gain my trust! And damned if I’m going to let that happen.’
Soon he found himself at a small lake in the middle of a large field. A huge tree was standing right next to the lake, so up he went again. Settling onto a branch, he looked at, only to notice that the men had gotten closer to him than he wanted.
Turning around again to climb even higher, he immediately bumped into X.
After placing a quick hand over Xander’s mouth—and a strong arm that Xander was pointedly not thinking about around his waist—X jumped out of the tree with his captive. Sitting down—with a still-struggling Xander in his lap—he waited for his brothers to get there.
Twisting around slightly, Xander whispered a fierce “I hate you!” before trying to bite X’s ear.
Jerking away quickly, X replied, “But I don’t hate you.”
“You weren't supposed to catch me.”
“Better me than Riddick,” was the quick response
Knowing that to be the truth, Xander fell quiet. Tense, but docile, he waited in X’s grasp for Riddick, Dom and Shane to get there.
Once all of them were sitting next to the lake, a huge argument took place.
“Give him to me, X!” Riddick growled.
X shook his head. “No, Richard, this is Xander’s choice.”
Xander quietly studied all the men while they were busy shouting at each other.
Xander studied all four men in front of him as they all started shouting.
Riddick and X were caught up in their argument while Dom and Shane were smirking at each other over their fighting brothers.
“Me and Dom will go at the same time,” Shane told his fighting brothers.
“Yeah,” Dom added gruffly. “We’ll wait to find out who his choice will be.”
“I’m the oldest!” Riddick pointed out. “I want to go home and there’s no other choice but to use him. So give him to me!”
“No,” Xander disagreed, “there’s always a choice for the person involved.”
MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP
Lifting his hand and slapping his alarm clock, Xander gave the offending piece a glare.
‘Oh, that’s just great!’ he thought, ‘it’s 6.45 am already; time to get up.’
“Man, talk about weird dreams,” he said aloud.
Before slipping out of bed, he kissed Anya’s face.
Once she heard the shower start, Anya opened her eyes, got out of bed and softly called for Halfrek.
“Do you think it worked?” Halfrek asked worriedly.
“I hope so. I want to have a threesome with another man. I want to watch as another man takes my Xander and I want to watch as he takes another man,” Anya replied. “You’re sure that you used the right spell?”
“Yeah, it was a suggestibility spell,” Halfrek remarked. “It will allow his dream self to be open to the idea of homosexuality. I wish you luck, Anya and don’t forget to give me details.”
“I won’t,” Anya assured her. “Thanks, Halfrek. Bye!”
Giving a small smile to her best friend, Halfrek disappeared as quietly as she had come.
Giving one last wave, Anya slipped back into bed and closed her eyes, hoping to dream about once more about a threesome with her, Xander and—The End.
AN: Now I am allowing Corruptedsmile to take up the mantle and write the sequel that this deserves. This was only a tease. Once she has her sequel up I will link to it in this spot