"Your what?" my comment seemed to have stunned her.
"My girlfriend. About seven foot tall and a lovely shade of green. You may have heard of her...The She-Hulk?"
"But you're Buffy not Willow. Willow likes girls. Buffy likes boys, but you had better not set your eyes on my Xander. He's my orgasm buddy and no-one else's!"
Doctor Steve and I shared a look of shock at the bizarre torrent of words that came pouring out of this impressive looking valkyrie every time she opened her mouth. I was still trying to figure out her last comment when Doctor Steve spoke up.
"Anya, assuming that Enigma is this Buffy you're speaking of and not a doppleganger or dimensional twin, she has lost all memory of her past life and it seems to have been removed by some great power."
I pricked my ears up at that.
"Since she arrived in this section of the multiverse she has made a new life for herself and I am very fortunate to consider her and her girlfriend; allies and friends. You said you perished?"
"Well duh. I mean, you just don't go to Asgard HR to fill out a job application for valkyrie-hood. You're called on death."
"So why were you called to this existence's Asgard and not your home realm's?"
Yugo stood there scratching her chin and thinking, "Well, our Asgard is kind out of operation. Lack of believers, insufficient levels of magic. I guess I was called to the nearest equivalent. The Norns will always make sure your skein comes due you now. When did you start liking girls Buffy?"
I was starting to feel like I had gotten whiplash from her rapid changes of subject.
"I never knew I didn't like them I guess. So you don't have to worry about your Xanex if he's a guy. I'm happy with my Jen."
"Good. Keep it that way and I won't have to fight you."
Steve cut back in, "Anya, why are you here? You said the Norns sent you?"
"Yesss, that's what I said already. Weren't you listening? I was sent to find a question and several answers. What that means, I have no idea okay? You said you were the sorcerer supreme. Well then, sorcerer up some answers."
Doctor Steve's eyes were starting to glaze over as well. Fortunately a Wong shaped rescuer came to the door along with some gorgeous green reinforcements.
"Oh Jen, thank god! She's worse than Deadpool!" I ran over and hugged her.
"And she is?"
Yugo or Audi or whatever had stopped talking when Jen had entered which is completely understandable. I mean she is pretty impressive even if you aren't in love with her. Right now the valkyrie-ish person was looking up from her own six foot height to meet Jen's eyes.
"Jen this is Yu..."
"My name is Anya! Have you become even more nomically challenged since you got here?"
"...Sorry, Anya. Anya, this is my girlfriend Jennifer. Jen, she says she knew me back wherever I came from."
"Really E? So Anya, what's Enigma's real name and where is she from?"
"Her real name is Buffy Summers and she was born in Los Angeles, but I didn't meet her until after she had moved to the Hellmouth in Sunnydale."
Doctor Steve shook off his glazed look and rejoined the conversation, "Hellmouth? There haven't been any active Hellmouths in at least fifty years. Mephisto didn't want to lose control of whatever passed through them so he shut them all down," he tapped his chin, "Still that should make it easier to track down your home dimension. Simply limiting the search to ones that have Hellmouths will reduce the number to check substantially," he headed over to his bookcase and started pulling down tomes.
"Great! That means Buffy and I can get home and I can see my Xander and Buffy can have tawdry orgasms with Spike!"
"Who's Spike?" I heard the suppressed anger in Jen's voice and slooooowly started inching away.
"Buffy's orgasm buddy who she can't remember right now. His real name is William and he used to be a mass-murdering vampire. But he got his soul back and is a lot better now, but he's still a vampire. Are you a troll or an ogre? I mean, I've never seen a skin tone quite like that before."
"I was with a VAMPIRE? I thought I was supposed to be some kind of mystical vampire slayer
"Oh you are. It's just that you have this thing for the undead. First Angel and then Spike. I always thought it was kind of weird, but to each their own."
Jen blew up, "And now you want to take my girl away back to be with a vampire!"
"Well, yes. I mean it is where she's from after all."
"She-Hulk, would you please calm down in my study," Doctor Steve didn't even have to raise his voice, "Firstly Anya. You are bound to this realm due to the skeins of fate so you can not return to your former dimension without convincing Sif and she is loath to let valkyries roam at random. Secondly, whatever force brought Enigma here and purged her memory of the past did it for a reason. Until we can determine what that reason is, her return is quite impossible. In addition, I don't believe that she wants to leave here."
"What? But what about Spike and Dawn and Willow? All your friends? Your home?" Anya had turned to face me.
I sighed and looked at the valkyrie's shocked expression, "This is my home. I had no memories until I made new ones. My friends are here, not in another dimension. The story of my past could be someone else's for all I know. I probably am the question you were looking for and what to do next is probably one of the answers," I looked over at my furious significant other, "Please don't maim her Babe. She's just confused."
"Alright. But if she tries to take you out of this dimension..."
"...You can always tell Thor."
"Yeah, I can."
I saw the valkyrie gulp softly. Most folks are not accustomed to meeting people with Thunder Gods on speed-dial.
"And she will," I whispered just loud enough for Anya to hear it. Then louder, "Well I have to go and take a lawyer out to dinner. Thanks for the help Doctor Steve!"
"Of course Enigma. Thanks to your fr...new associate, I have some new data to work with. And don't worry about her, I'll make sure she gets settled in."
"Hey! I'm right here you know," Doctor Steve continued to ignore her as Jen and I slipped away.
"So, Buffy or Enigma?" Jen was looking down at me curiously
"Enigma. Buffy is somebody I've never met and I don't think I want to."A/N
This particular story is complete, however the series is not
. There will be more.