Signing away destiny
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Only the idea. Everything else belongs to the wonderful Joss Whedon.
Just a brief monologue from Angel’s point of view during the events in Not Fade Away.
“Your signature there will remove any opportunity that you will ever earn your once-precious humanity. Will you sign it?”
I can’t sign this.
This, this is what I’ve worked for, it’s my destiny.
To sign it away would be, insane.
But, if it’s the only way to stop the apocalypse then…
Maybe, just maybe it won’t make a difference; I could still convince them that I’m on their side…somehow.
What use is humanity anyway?
What is the use in breathing, taste, not worrying about the gypsy curse,
To be able to feel the beating of my own heart…
I want my life back, I want to live!
I want to walk in the sun and not burn, be normal, be human!
It’s all I’ve wanted for a long time, in fact, it’s hard to remember a time where I didn’t.
It’s my destiny, mine!
But, the prophecy only specified that it was about the vampire with a soul, there are two of us.
But for it to be Spike…that would be preposterous!
But…what if it is about him, then to risk it, for something that may not even be...that would be insane.
And, then, to know that, everything I’ve done was for nothing. That I’ve fought for no reward.
That my life, if it can even be called that, was a lie.
One of the things I’ve learned throughout all of this is that, we keep fighting, we do what we can, every single day. Fred taught me that, Cordelia taught me that, Doyle taught me that…Buffy, she did too.
If the hardest thing in this world, is to live in it…then, why do I want this so much, as a human, I could not carry on fighting.
If I cease to fight, then I fade.
And I know that’s what I must never do.
I must not fade away.
The two lines at the beginning and end of this are taken directly from the Angel episode Not Fade Away.