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Guess Ghoul's coming to town?

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Summary: Someone moves into the spooky house up the road and Xander meets everyone's favorite storyteller.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > Tales From The CryptCrazyDanFR1847,00787921,79130 Oct 1031 May 12No

Chapter 4: Witch Way is Up?

Guess Ghoul's coming to town?

A BTVS/ Tales from the Crypt crossover....

I do not own Tales from the Crypt or Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The Cryptkeeper was created by William Gaines of EC comics and Buffy was created by Joss Whedon. Tales from the Crypt the TV show was produced by HBO, Warner Brothers and The Geffen company. This is a piece of fanfiction and is not written for profit.

The House on Haunted Hill....

“Has it stopped screaming yet?” Willow asked Xander as she entered the former wine cellar of their shared home.

“No.” Xander said with a shake of his head. “Did you get the blood I asked for?”

“Two gallons of pig's blood.” Willow said as she handed him the brown shopping bag she'd been carrying. “Surprisingly cheap.”

“Good. Get the funnel.” Xander told her. “Let's feed this little demon so it can heal well enough for me to skin it again.”

The bound vampire that was on the steel table nearby groaned pitifully.

“How soon do you think you can prepare the first batch?” Willow asked as she ran a hand over the still dripping flesh that was hanging to dry. It was cool to the touch, but given the ambient temperature that wasn't saying much.

“Give me the weekend.” Xander told her. “I know a few things that might speed it up.”

Willow nodded. “It's a shame Jesse died. Still, the demon should be punished for wearing his face.”

“Oh, it is.” Xander grinned before pausing. “Funnel?” He asked.

“I'll be right back.” Willow said with a nod.

Xander didn't acknowledge her response as he reached into the paper bag and removed the two sealed buckets of blood. He also looked at the receipt.

“Number Two special?” Xander mused. “What's the Number One? This town.” He said with a shake of his head.

The next week at school.....

“We got you a present.” Willow said to Buffy as she walked next to her through the halls from Buffy's locker to their next class.

“Oh?” Buffy asked. “Should I like this present or run screaming from it?”

Willow shrugged. She really didn't know how the girl would react to her new jacket. Personally, she enjoyed her new underwear. Normal leather was generally hot and not very breathable. Her current set was cool even on a hot California day.

Xander had shown his approval of her use of the leather he'd given her in a very appreciative way.

Buffy raised an eyebrow as Willow seemed to shudder a bit.

Now she was really curious as to what this present was. Cheer-leading tryouts could wait until the next time they rolled around. This took precedence.

The Library....

“You got her a leather jacket?” Giles asked after peeking inside the plain and unassuming white box.

“Made her one.” Xander corrected the Englishman. “You'll understand after she tries it on.”

“I find it hard to believe that you made Buffy a jacket of that apparent level of quality.” Giles sputtered.

“I made the leather. Willow made the jacket.” Xander said. “I wouldn't be so quick to judge, I've made almost half of the furniture in this room. For an unassuming place, this library has had more than it's fair share of vandalism.”

Giles didn't say anything as he cleaned his glasses. The more he learned of these two teens, the farther he wanted to run away from them. There was a lot going on here that he wasn't aware of and that bothered him greatly.

He didn't want such unusual people influencing his Slayer. That was his job after all.

“Where is it?” Buffy asked as he almost ripped the Library’s door off it's hinges as she entered the place of study.

“On the table.” Giles said as he put his glasses back on.

Buffy yanked the lid off the garment box and carelessly tossed it into the stacks before grabbing the carefully constructed and folded jacket out of it's former container. She smelled it and frowned a little. “This isn't normal leather is it?” She asked Xander.

“No.” Xander said with a shake of his head. “It's not from a cow if that is what you're asking. It's a little more durable. We've also lined the interior for more comfort. Try it on.” Xander said.

Buffy had already had one arm through one of the sleeves before Xander had finished his last sentence.
“It's a little big, and what was that thing I felt in the sleeves?”

“Stake holders.” Xander told her.

“You guys.” Buffy said with a sniff as she looked at Xander and Willow who had silently entered the library behind her. “Thanks.”

“Don't forget the best part.” Xander said to Willow.

Willow nodded and pulled a large sheathed blade from.... somewhere.

“How did...” Buffy began before shaking her head. “Nevermind. This go with the jacket?”

“Goes in it.” Willow said. “I borrowed the idea from Highlander. Smart sewing and a little planning you can easily conceal a decent dagger in that thing. If you were taller we could talk short-swords but you know.” Willow said with a shrug.

Buffy nodded. “Thanks guys. It'll be easier to carry weapons at night now.”

“Give me some time to get the material and we can get you some custom pants and other clothing as well.” Xander said with a waggle of his eyebrows.

Willow elbowed him in the gut. “Later.” She softly whispered to him. “Sorry. We're working on procuring more of the material. It can be... problematic.”

Namely very loud during the skinning and time consuming dragging the demons back home beforehand.

For some reason vampires recovered from disabled voice boxes rather quickly. It was something they needed to look into.

Still, at least tongues didn't grow back.

So far.

“Hey, does anyone else smell burning meat?” Xander asked as he looked around the library.

“Actually....” Buffy said as she finished slipping the sheathe into her jacket. “I do.”

“Can't be the cafeteria.” Willow said with a frown.

“Oh yes, let's play follow the smell.” Giles muttered. “Reminds me of my old University days actually.”

“Were people set on fire there too?” Xander asked as they headed towards the source of the smell.

“How do you know what... nevermind. I don't want to know.” Giles said with a sigh.

“You're right. You don't.” Xander said. He still didn't like using soldering guns for craft work.

Torturing demons on the other hand.... well a man had to practice to keep his skills sharp.

The Gym...

“Spontaneous Human Combustion?” Buffy asked with a bit of a snort after hearing one of the police describe the scene to his superiors. “Right.”

“It's either evil science or witchcraft.” Willow said. “I can think of a couple of delayed chemical reactions that could set a person's clothing alight and a few spells that could do the same.”

“You practice magic?” Giles whispered.

“We dabble.” Xander told him. “You kind have to in our business. We have specialties but we try to be decent generalists.”

“So... someone went after a cheerleader. Why? Fear of pom-poms or was it personal?” Buffy asked as she thought about it. If it wasn't personal... it could have been her.

Buffy decided right then and there to have as few extracurricular activities as possible at Sunnydale High. The competition in them seemed to be dead serious.


“So sewing a witch's mouth shut actually works?” Buffy asked Willow as they looked at the captive witch Willow had subdued using her ever present sewing kit.

“Depends on their skill level. If they can do strong magic without incantations... well it would be better to have Xander hammer her brains out of her skull first and ask questions later.” Willow said as she examined Amy Madison a bit more closely.

The girl had been acting off for most of the semester. It was strange. She wasn't doing as well in math but was doing better in American History. It was subtle, but there was also something wrong with the girl's aura.

Willow sighed. Killing her would have been so much easier.

Still, there was a mystery afoot and she always did like puzzles.

“Wait... didn't Amy say stuff about how her mom used to be a big cheerleader back in the day?” Buffy asked Willow.


“Let's go see what 'Mrs. Madison' is doing right now. We can let Xander keep an eye on this one.” Willow said before grabbing Xander and telling him to stay put with the captive Madison.

“Xander.” Willow said as Buffy walked out of the room. “Behave.”

Xander pouted at Willow. “She's in the uniform and everything. How can you expect me to not want to play a little?”

“If you do, I'll be inserting one of my knitting needles into your urethra.” Willow told him causing the teen to wince. “Once everything is sorted and if she's agreeable we can play. Not until then. You never want to anger or scorn a witch, let alone rape one. You know that.”

Xander nodded. “Fine.” He said softly. “But you're going to owe me for tempting me with this.”

Willow grinned. “That is half the fun.” She said before kissing him fiercely and leaving the room.

Xander sighed as Willow sauntered off. Now she really owed him. He was hard and couldn't do anything about it with his very captive audience.

“Bitch.” Xander said wistfully as he watched Willow leave the school grounds from the window.

A few nights later....

Buffy grinned as she slipped her new knife into the spine of an unsuspecting vampire before flipping it over and staking it. She hid her stake and sheathed her knife with minimal effort and patted some of the excess vampire dust off of her clothes.

“Well?” Willow asked her.

“Can I get the whole outfit in lavender?” Buffy asked.

“I'll see what I can do.” Willow said with a small smile.

They'd already gotten a hold of an older vampire that healed much more quickly than the fledgelings they had gathered previously. She was smaller, but her regenerative abilities made up for it.

She was pretty in a way as well. Both Xander and Willow understood why she'd been turned. She actually looked a little like Buffy.

What kind of name was Darla anyways? Was it short for Darling or something else?

“So... what else can you make?” Buffy asked Willow, causing the redhead to snap out of her internal musings.

“Lots of things.” Willow told her. “I can make just about anything from hoop-skirts to undergarments.”

“Really?” Buffy asked with an arched brow.

“This leather makes really fun underwear. You know how it seems to stay cool? It always does.” Willow confided.

“Cool.” Buffy grinned. “Count me in for a set.”

“I'd have to take some more exact measurements for that.” Willow told her.

“Maybe later.” Buffy said. “So you and Xander huh?”

“We're not exactly a couple. We're just really intimate friends.” Willow told her. “We share a lot of common interests.”

That Killing Things and Sex were the top two on their shared list went unsaid.

“He any good?” Buffy asked softly.

“The things he can do with a modified reciprocating saw.” Willow said softly.

“A what saw?” Buffy asked.

“Have you ever seen the movie 'Top Secret'?” Willow asked Buffy with a sigh.

“No.” Buffy said with a shake of her head. “I haven't.”

“I'll loan you my tape.” Willow told her. “You'll understand once you watch it.”

After she finished the movie.....

“I have some really strange friends.” Buffy said as she hit rewind. “Still... power tools... hmm. Wonder if it's anything like the pulsating shower-head.”


The End?

You have reached the end of "Guess Ghoul's coming to town?" – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 31 May 12.

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