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Pocket Protector

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Summary: Some things should never be unleashed into an unsuspecting world, especially when it's wearing a pocket protector.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Miscellaneous > Surprise Crossover(Past Donor)gunsmithFR714871112,86631 Oct 1031 Oct 10Yes
-Pocket Protector-
By: Gunsmith3000

Disclaimers: None of them are mine…. Buffy to WB and Paramount, and the surprise x-over belongs to their rightful owners.



Xander stared despondently as the last toy rifle was being carted away by an overly rambunctious eight-year old towards the counter. The young man sighed at the loss of a possible cheap costume until his eyes caught sight of a pocket protector and remembered watching a strange video the night before about some guy doing funny as hell retro game reviews.

Snatching up the pocket protector and some fake glasses as an idea began to form in his mind, he ran up to the counter to pay for his items. When the owner asked if that was all; he simply replied that he had the rest of the costume at home.

Besides, Xander mused, it’s not like Tony will miss one of the shirts he’ll never get to wear missing for the night.



After the spell ended, the first thing Xander said when he came to in front of Buffy was: “AAAASSSSSSS!”

*SLAP!*



“No weapon forged by man huh?” Xander said as he stood over a pile of broken masonry as he looked over at the Judge. The big blue fuckbag managed to dodge the damned one-shot rocket launcher Giles had stolen for Buffy. Out of ammo, and out of damned time, Xander decided to release the power he’d kept within.

“Well I’ve got something for you, you motherfucking piece of dog turd!” The younger, bespectacled Scooby shouted as he stood in righteous fury towards the source of his ire.

“No weapon forged by man can defeat me.” The Judge repeated his earlier statement as he was again flanked by Angelus, Spike, and Drusilla.

“Who said anything about it being forged, horseshit?” Xander retorted. “I’ve got some F-bombs here for you: special delivery!”

“FUCK!”

*BOOM!*

“FUCK!”

*BOOM!*

“FUCK!”

*BOOM!*

“FUCK!”

*BOOM!*

To everyone’s shock, every profanity laced insult verbally hurled toward the enemy caused an explosion of unimaginable proportion as each profane word laid waste to Angelus’s small army and then blew up the Judge to smithereens.

…along with half the mall with him.

After that night, a legend was born.

His Unholy Fuckness...

*BOOM!*



- The End -



A/N: I fudged the timeline for this little ditty. I know it’s a little raw as I wrote this straight into the TTH submission “box”. I KNOW I’ll have a hangover tomorrow while wondering where the heck this came from. That being said, I know what I wrote is bad.... but i just HAD to get this out while I'm still loopy and I'm probably going to take this down at some later date. I've got no plans for this to continue, but if someone who has more sense of humor than I do wants to continue this, by all means, do so. Ten galleons to those who can guess who Xander turned into.

The End

You have reached the end of "Pocket Protector". This story is complete.

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