Could I simply enjoy a bonfire night display? No, I had a Southern so-and-so muttering in my head through out.
Not beta'd. Typed straight into the widget box, from my clearly disturbed mind...
"Is it wise to place an incendiary device in the hands of a child?"
"Dear Lord, surely one incurs auditory and retinal damage?"
"Must they go so high? I will be requiring the services of a chiropractor come the morning."
"Ah believe my visual acuity has been impaired."
"I'm quite sure that one is not meant to feel ones internal organs vibrate."
"Is there a particular reason why they are lowing like cattle?"
Oops-disclaimer: Mag7 not mine.