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Summary: YAHF. Xander finds a cheaper costume, and guilts the girls into going along with him.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Miscellaneous > Dr. Horrible's Sing-along BlogVampireCowFR1326,7508375,76311 Nov 1020 May 11No

Chapter One

Disclaimer: Both Dr. Horrible and Buffy the Vampire Slayer were created by Joss Whedon. I'm just borrowing them.

Xander wandered through the dusty shop. He was looking for a large gun to go with the soldier's fatigues his uncle had brought back last month after another drunken binge, Xander hadn't asked why, but he had yet to find something big enough to meet his qualifications. Mostly all they had was handguns and sci-fi rifles. Xander grumbled, stood on his toes, and scanned the store to keep track of his best friend and unrequited love.

Willow was looking over the pre-packaged costumes and Buffy was pawing through her own bargain bin. Typical girl behavior: always looking at the sales. He smiled faintly as his eye caught on a black semi-automatic balanced atop of a rack of accessories. He guessed someone must have picked it up and then decided they didn't want it. All the better for me!

Xander reached the fake weapon, swiped unabashedly from a seven year old with a basket of green and black face paint and knives, and turned to head to the check out. He found himself face to face with a wall of decals.

"No way." Xander breathed as his heart skipped a beat. It was the hammer symbol. The ultimate sign of chauvinistic manliness. Jesse had been a rabid fan of the short sing-along series and had forced his two best friends to sit and watch the movies, as well as memorize the lyrics. Xander glanced from the gun in his hands to the little kid that was still staring at him with a disturbingly calculating look in his eyes.

Xander had a hunch the brat was trying to decide if he could get away with crying or throwing a similar kind of fit. Brown eyes tracked green as they shifted over to a tall brunet woman holding a witch costume over her body as she checked herself in a nearby mirror. Xander looked back at the iron on decal longingly. It was as though it was calling to him, and Jesse's happy caffeinated voice sung off-key in his ears. He frowned in thought.

I could spray-paint mom's dish gloves, and use the boots anyway...

"Here, kid." Xander sighed as he passed the gun over to the aspiring rambo.

The scooby then pulled the decal from the display and headed over to Buffy after checking the price. I'm as bad as the girls. Guess that makes me the dollar costume king now. Xander snuck up as Willow introduced her costume. While the girls discussed getting sexy and wild their male friend noticed a pair of familiar goggles that had been unearthed by Buffy's rummaging.

He quickly plucked them from the pile as an idea formed.

No! Xander thought as his ears picked up the turn in conversation. He had to move fast if he wanted to succeed. The women-folk were already distracted by the big fancy dress! "Buffy!"

The two girls halted and turned as one. "Xander? What did you get?"

"I haven't paid yet, but I was thinking... I know how you can apologize for ruining my manly reputation." Xander spoke with utmost confidence as his soon-to-be costume would. "Allow me to select your costume. I promise not anything too reveling or monstrous."

Buffy eyed him as guilt broke on her face. She nibbled her lip and turned to eye the dress, though ball gown might have been a more apt description. "Not spandex?" Maybe she was thinking he was going to pick that? Buffy sighed and lowered her head. "Alright. Be gentle."

"I got an idea for Willow too. We'll need to pick up some fake blood though!" Xander smiled brilliantly as he led his friends through the store while handing Buffy the goggles. "Hey, does your mom have some wash gloves you can borrow? Maybe paint?"

Willow's eyes widened in happy surprise as she got a good look at the decal in Xander's hand. "Sometimes a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do."

Buffy glared at the clock and opened the dryer. Her jaw dropped as she let out an outraged scream. "Mom! You put your sweater in with my costume!" Buffy moaned and took the once cream, now lightish red, old fashioned medical coat from the dryer. She'd wanted to wash it to get rid of some of the starch stiffness, but now it was ruined!

Xander would not be pleased.

Willow entered the basement with a wriggle. Xander had asked her to pull out one of her old sundresses, the blue one with the floral print, but even though she still managed to get it on over her now considerably larger mammaries the skirt was shorter than she was comfortable with and her boobies felt rather squished. Still, it was Xander, so she tried it on anyway. "What's the problem?" She caught sight of the medical frock as Buffy held it up for examination. "Oh."

"I'm supposed to be going as a doctor. Doctors wear white, sometimes blue, this is pink! I'm not a candy-stripper!" Buffy looked her friend imploringly. "Right? I'm not a candy-stripper? I'm not a stripper of anything! This is horrible..."

Willow shook her head. "It's okay. Hey! Maybe it's fate! His later version wore a red coat with black gloves. You can just go as that version! Too bad you don't have a wrist cannon..."

Buffy smiled in relief and relaxed. "Well, that's good." Her eyes lit up as she noticed the look Willow was sporting. "Not bad! Maybe you can use this to go from fake girlfriend to... real girl friend?" She raised her eyebrows suggestively.

Willow blushed and rushed upstairs to apply the red paint to her dress while thinking about the ghost costume in her backpack. It wasn't that she didn't like Xander's plan, and the fact they could complete the set was great, but her dress was far too short to be comfortable. One good gust of wind and everyone would know about her Ariel panties.

Billy shook himself as a rush of energy leaked from his body. Frowning in puzzlement, he spun around as monsters ran amuck and civilians screamed in terror. Evidently he had somehow been transported into the middle of a dangerous riot. He reached into his pocket for a stun rod.

It wasn't there.

Frowning further, Billy began patting himself down only to discover a pair of new attachments.

"That is... weird." He now owned a set of rather modest breasts. Blinking at the sound of his voice, he checked his appearance in a handy car window. "I'm a woman." He resisted the urge to pat his crotch for reassurance.

He blinked slowly and absently kicked an evil munchkin as his thoughts went into overdrive. The last thing he remembered was leaving the Evil League of Evil meeting with promises to systematically attack the family of the most well known Heros and destroy public morale. Dead Bride hadn't been happy about his new rank.

Billy ground his teeth. He would bet Moist that she was behind his sudden gender switch, though the random teleportation could have been anyone. Heck, it could have even been his own machines malfunctioning. I hope Moist is okay...

Billy squared his shoulders and marched off into the night. It was time for Dr. Horrible to take charge.

"You!" He snarled to a creature with tusks. "Put down that old woman, you don't know where she's been, and follow me!" His voice was like steel and his eyes promised pain if disobeyed. The creature swallowed and hesitantly came forward as it recognized superior evil.

Billy turned, knowing his orders would be obeyed without question. He needed to find a hardware store.

Willow began panicking. Her charges had suddenly morphed, and her stomach felt like it wasn't there anymore. She couldn't breath! Willow fell and reflexively swallowed as cold seeped into her body.

Suddenly, she couldn't feel the pain. She couldn't feel anything. Frightened, she stood and ran to find her friends leaving a sheet covered body behind.


Captain Hammer punted a villain with glowing eyes over a couple of houses. He heard a fetching voice call, but didn't recognize it. It didn't sound like the owner was in life threatening trouble and, well... There's some needed ass kicking over here. The brunette gave the woman in the princess costume a winning smile and idly backhanded a fur covered creature into a car.

"Xander! Thank god!"

Hammer turned to greet the woman who was clearly talking to him, and froze. His heart sped up and his pupils dilated as he tentatively reached toward the figure standing before him. It couldn't be possible. He'd only finished the therapy a few months ago; he couldn't afford a relapse. The voice was off, he thought, but... "Penny?"

He stepped back as his hand passed through her arm, and he finally noticed the blood stain on her dress.

The red head jumped at his touch and watched with fascination. "Oh. Oh. Xander, I must be a ghost! I dressed as a ghost, and now I am one." She squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep non-breath.

Hammer was close to hyperventilating. He had gone to counselors for this, dammit, he wasn't going to freak out! Especially with Penny. Penny matters. Even if he couldn't touch her she was still his girlfriend. Penny was not a fling, not a one-night-stand, and not a casual lover.

She was a girlfriend. To be honored and kept safe. Hammer swallowed and checked the area for new hostilies. Even if she was dead and a ghost he would do his best by her. "Penny, dear. We should get you to safety. Evil is afoot and it must be stopped."

Penny nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah. Um. I left my body a street or two back, but we need to find... oh god! She went as Dr. Horrible..."

Hammer froze and shuddered before collecting his confidence. "Dr. Horrible is here? Has he caused this? It doesn't seem like his style."

"No!" Willow led the way to her body. "It wasn't him. I'm positive."

Well, Penny is a bit better at the whole thinking things through than me. He smiled in satisfaction as he caught a small monster and hurled it expertly up and away. "Three points!"

Two men, or rather one man and former man, stared down each other in the middle of the street like some old western movie. Very little could hurt Captain Hammer (who regularly bench pressed cars) and many things could hurt Doctor Horrible, but the villain had developed a high pain tolerance level as well as a small army of evil. The only thing preventing him from ordering his new minions to attack was the girl standing next to Hammer with a pained expression on her face.

"Buf- er. Billy. Billy. Please, lets talk."

Dr. Horrible watched her and felt his chest constrict. She looked almost exactly as he remembered, but memories faded, so maybe she was like she was supposed to be. Blood glistened on her dress as she stepped forward and he wanted to run to her and wrap her in his arms. Heal the wound and go back to simpler times filled with fabric softener and frozen yogurt.

But he, even though he looked too young, was standing behind her. Horrible adjusted his goggles over his eyes. "Penny. He's the reason you died. Step away."

"Billy!" She snapped. "Stop it! The two of you, just, stop! You aren't you! Everyone has turned into their costumes! We have to figure out why and stop it!"

As usual, Penny was right. Horrible knew his gaze softened when he looked at the red head and nodded. Civilians were in danger and while some of the ELE were into that sort of thing he wasn't. He wanted to change the world. Not doom it.

With a small scowl he nodded to the adolescent Hammer. "Truce?"

Hammer clearly looked as if he didn't want to do so, but he nodded at Penny's pleading gaze. The po-dunk town needed order. The cause of the chaos found and rooted out. Everything else could come after.

Giles had planned to ask the children how their holiday had gone, but found himself simply watching in amusement as they entered the library singing. They were actually singing and young Harris had an arm around young Rosenberg. It was about time those two got sorted out, the watcher thought with satisfaction. His slayer hummed along while making little notes in a spiral.

"It's a brand new day, and they're gonna die, all the vampires say, run or we'll fry..."

He did think it a little odd that Buffy had a pair of thick goggles holding her bangs back. "How was your night? Not too trying, I hope?"
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