Halloween Fairly Odd Style...
Yes! I, SITHICUS! THE MASTER OF ALL EVIL! Am beginning another brand new WiP without marking any of my others as complete or finishing them off. Why? You ask me... And I, SITHICUS! THE MASTER OF ALL EVIL! Shall tell you... I've been trying to cook up a juicy little crossover between these two shows for a while now.
And at last I have managed to pull off the opening salvo... AKA Chapter One. It was hard work (No seriously, have you ever tried working with Cosmo before?)
"I heard that!" Cosmo said poofing next to the author's shoulder.
You were meant to hear that, Cosmo... I wish For a Disclaimer...Disclaimer Poof: I, SITHICUS! THE MASTER OF ALL EVIL! Do hereby state from the following statement given to me by my trusted assistant... Hey... Ahem. The characters originating from Buffy the Vampire Slayer belong to the creative mind of one Joss Whedon and the company known as M.E. Productions. The characters originating from The Fairly Oddparents belong to the brilliant mind of creative genius... COSMO! Ahem, Re-Do! Belong to Mister Butch Hartman... If my memory is correct. As well as Nickelodeon... Now owned by the Walt Disney Company as I recall. I make no claims otherwise, nor do I calim to enjoy dressing up in a frilly tutu and floaty crown and pretend to be a... Wait a minute... COSMO!
Ugh. Enough with the terrible jokes before The April Fool shows up to zing us, I Wish this Crossover would Start!
Poof, CHAPTER ONE, Poof.
Sunnydale, California: A town on the edge of darkness. And unfortunately tonight is Halloween. A chaotic loving individual has decided to come to this town in hopes of livening up the life of his former friend, one Rupert Giles.
Dimmsdale, California: A town on the edge of… well pretty much nothing honestly. This unassuming little burg is the home of one, Timmy Turner, a child ten years of age who is just an average kid which no one understands. His mother, his father even the babysitter Vicky are always giving him commands.
But Timmy has a secret – because in his room the doom and gloom is broken instantly by his magic little fish who grant his every wish, because – in reality – they are his Oddparents – Fairly Oddparents – or more accurately Fairy Godparents.
Creatures from a magical world called Fairy World – somewhere high up in the clouds or perhaps another dimension – and they are assigned to every little boy and girl who suffers terrible childhoods. Lonely, forgotten, ignored. So in a way, Dimmsdale is the counterpart to Sunnydale because Dimmsdale represents the light side of the equation as long as the Fairly Oddparents of Timmy Turner continue to live there… Perhaps that was the reason for their placement there.
Sunnydale… Dimmsdale… Opposite ends of the Pole.
“Cosmo, don’t interrupt!” Timmy ordered the green haired Fairy.
“But, Timmy, I don’t see a pole,” Cosmo said. “What’s this guy talkin’ about?”
“Cosmo! We’re not in the story yet,” Timmy reminded.
“I want to see the pole!” Cosmo shouted in a childish tone.
Timmy sighed. “Wanda, I wish Cosmo could see the pole,” Timmy said.
Wanda – the pink haired fairy let out an exasperated sigh and waved her wand. In a poof of smoke with the words – North Pole – Cosmo vanished.
“I said the pole, Wanda,” Timmy said.
“What?” Wanda asked innocently. “Can I help it if you didn’t specify which pole you wanted him to see?”
Timmy smirked. “Ok, Mister Narrator guy, you can finish your intro,” Timmy told me… I mean told the Narrator… Who is glancing around shiftily.
Tonight is Halloween in Dimmsdale as well – unfortunately Timmy Turner is learning that things aren’t exactly as fun or as scary as he remembered they were when he was a mere five years old.
Fortunately he has Fairy Godparents and their magic powers to help him overcome this particular problem – unfortunately due to the necessity of peril and a clever plot twist – this Halloween night is going to turn out to be a lot more than even Timmy Turner bargained for. Or the rest of our assembled cast…
Buffy Summers – French Noblewoman.
Xander Harris – United States Marine.
Willow Rosenberg – Slutty Ghost.
Cordelia Chase – Cat-Girl.
And of course… Ethan Rayne – Chaos Mage Mastermind of Halloween’s Spell.
Let Us Begin…
Timmy is an average kid, which no one understands…
“We can skip that part, I covered it earlier.”The Buffy Theme Song Now Begins to Play.
Xander sighed as he led his pack of kids to the next block over on their assigned list – he was starting to feel extremely bored with the task at hand – it wasn’t the same when you were too old to sleaze free candy from the people handing out the treats.
He was also kind of feeling nostalgic for the good old days when it was just Willow, Jesse and him trick-or-treating in the relative safety of not knowing the truth – or in other words – unaware of the nightlife that existed in Sunnydale.
Part of him wished he could ignore his volunteer position and just go hang out somewhere with his girls to drown his growing melancholy.
Unfortunately for Xander at this exact time in a little costume shop – a certain Chaos Mage was about to unleash all hell on All Hallow’s Eve – doubly unfortunate for Mister Rayne geographically located on a leyline directly opposite Sunnydale on the coast of California a young ten year old buck toothed boy was just about to wish for something.
Mixing Magics should never be done. Especially on Halloween. And especially on the exact same leyline running through the Earth itself tying one seemingly unassuming small coastal town to another seemingly unassuming small coastal town.
As Ethan Rayne incanted the final words to his spell invoking the power of Janus.
Timmy Turner – accompanied by a musical number – wished for everything to be Real and Scary on Halloween Night.
“This is the part where the magic collides. Right, Timmy?” Cosmo asked.
“Cosmo!” Timmy shouted. “Don’t spoil it for everybody.”
“I can’t help it, Timmy, this is my first crossover ever! And Buffy’s a real dreamboat,” Cosmo said with hearts in his eyes.
Wanda glared at her husband. “What did you say, Cosmo?” she demanded irked.
“Uh… What I meant to say, was… Nothing compares to your heavenly beauty, my sweet kumquat,” Cosmo hastily said backing up from Wanda’s magic wand.
“That’s better,” Wanda said with a knowing smile.
“Can we get on with the magical stuff now, guys?” Timmy asked impatiently.
“One Real and Scary Halloween coming right up!” Cosmo said holding up his wand.
A great big poof of smoke covered all of Dimmsdale – the words Real and Scary floated inside of the smoke – however the leylines located directly beneath the city began to absorb some of the magical power of the Fairies. And that power traveled between Dimmsdale and Sunnydale.
Ethan completed invoking Janus just as the Fairy magic exploded underneath his costume shop. The bust of Janus being used as a focus point for his chaos spell exploded into a million pieces and the magic twisted and turned – a large poof of pink smoke also began to cover Sunnydale – with the words Real and Scary floating in the middle of them.
Fueled by Ethan’s chaos spell the Fairy magic once again traveled through the leylines back to Dimmsdale and exploded a second time engulfing the city – what happened next is certainly going to prove just how dangerous Chaos Magic can be if not kept in check.
Children dressed as goblins and trolls and hellish monsters began to change – their masks fusing to their faces and their skin gaining the textures of beasts they’d dressed as.
Howling at the moon a child dressed as a werewolf bared her fangs and charged one of the children who had turned into a zombie princess.
Opening her door an old lady greeted a demonic gaggle of children with a cackling laugh and a revving chainsaw full of candy. “Hello kiddies!” she cried.
Willow knew this was wrong – she reached out to try and pull the kid about to get cut in two out of the way only for her body to seize up in rigimortis. Her head pounded with pain and she screamed as she collapsed to the ground – her skin turning pale – her heart slowly stopped and soon Willow Rosenberg was dead.
Buffy was experiencing a similar transformation – as the French Noblewoman guise she’d dressed up as was turned into something that could conform to the request made by an innocent ten year old boy. In order to turn Buffy Summers into something Real and Scary however – the spell was forced to modify her choice in costumes ever so slightly – Buffy’s neck spurted blood. It gushed forth cutting off her cries of pain.
Buffy collapsed to the ground – momentarily stunned – when she got back up again she could see her body standing over her. It collapsed a second time when she fainted – not realizing that she’d become a Headless French Noblewoman – a victim of the guillotine during the revolution.
Xander Harris was unfortunately not killed. Or rather he didn’t become a zombie soldier or a zombie anything – he wasn’t turned into a werewolf, a ghost, a Frankenstein’s monster or even something as incongruous as a demon soldier.
Instead the magic affected him differently – mostly due to the fact that he had once been the focal point for a Primal Possession spell – and Fairy Magic being Fairy Magic couldn’t really do much with an ordinary soldier. So it tapped into the remnants of the other spell and transformed Xander into something a little bit more exciting. At least to a ten year old boy innocently making a wish.
Xander felt his fingers twitching. He felt his nails elongating. He felt as though every part of his body was on fire and there was very little he could do about it. With a demented and crazed laugh Xander the Soldier became Xander the Hyena-Soldier Hybrid – a genetically spliced super soldier from world war two. At least in some alternate dimension of dark and evil experimentations.
Xander could smell better than he had as an ordinary human. He could also smell something that excited his primal side. It was a feline… And she was in extreme duress. Not to mention heat.
“Tonight’s going to be fun,” Xander said in a guttural tone. Then he burst out laughing.
Willow groaned as she slowly rose up from her position on the cold hard pavement – the sheet she’d been wearing remained on the ground – glancing down at herself Willow started to panic. “I’m dead!” she screamed as she put her hand through her very transparent body.
“Keep it down, ghosty, some of us are working,” a robed man said from down the street.
“Death!” Willow shrieked backing away nervously.
“Relax, Willow, I ain’t here fer ya,” Death said in a strange Brooklyn accent.
“Then… I’m not dead?” Willow asked a tiny germ of hope in her eyes.
“Nah, but this poor sucker is,” Death explained holding up the spectral form of one Ethan Rayne – who had been killed in the magical explosion in his shop. “Now I just got to wait around to re-claim a certain blonde demon that escaped from hell when he took possession of an awful poet,” Death added with a chuckle.
“You’re saying Spike is supposed to die tonight too?” Willow asked curiously.
“Yep. Got him here right in between Mister Rayne here and some poor sap called Georgette Snyder,” Death stated.
“Principal Snyder’s first name is Georgette?” Willow blurted. She broke down into hysterical laughter. “No wonder he doesn’t let anybody see his name plate at school,” she said in between giggles.
Death shrugged. “Whatever you say,” Death said. “Now if youse’ll excuse me I’ve got to collect my last soul for de night so I can get some downtime,” he added before vanishing from sight.
Willow continued to laugh at this odd bit of information when she realized that if she wasn’t dead something very wrong was going on. “I’ve got to find Buffy and Xander,” she said. Turning to glance down the street she made her way off in a rush – her legs changing into a wispy tail of spectral energy as she moved rapidly down the dark streets of Sunnydale.
“What happens next?” Cosmo asked excitedly.
“I can’t tell you that,” the Narrator replied.
“Why not?” Cosmo demanded impatiently. “I want to know what’s going to happen!” he cried.
The Narrator sighed. “Yes, but this is the part where we have to leave everyone guessing what is going to happen next. Even you, Cosmo,” he informed.
“Oh no! You don’t mean?” Cosmo bit his nails nervously leaving a large pile of clippings at his feet.
“Yes,” the Narrator said with a grand flourishing gesture as he waved his magic wand. A poof of smoke filled the MS Word Document – accompanied by the words…To Be Continued…
“You’re mean,” Cosmo complained.
“Cosmo! Stop bothering the Narrator or he won’t tell us what happens next,” Wanda said exasperatedly.
“No!” Cosmo cried in fear.
The Narrator sighed, saved his work and closed down the program with a mouse click… “I should be getting paid for this… Or at least given the opportunity to be in an episode of the cartoon for real.”