breathe you in - Twilight
This one gave me no end of trouble because I kept falling into the 'They're dead, let's get bloody revenge' trope and that's just... no. Absolutely not. I hope this is better. Also, this is the second of three non-crossovers in this collection, I think. Stay strong, people. ;PWarnings:
Schmoopy mindfuckery. No, really. Prompt:
Beneficia asked for Twilight, Bella/Jasper, Dark. Edward and Alice get killed by Volturi. This is the aftermath.
.breathe you in
They are so, so happy.
Sometimes, Bella thinks, it’s as if they are floating on a cloud, a million miles above the ground, looking down at the world and all the beauty it has to offer, all the wonderful things, the miracles and dreams.
With Jasper’s hand in hers, all the dark corners of the universe are illuminated and she’s so very happy.
He takes her to Paris and they stay for a month, marauding through all the museums, sitting in the cafes, pretending to drink strong coffee, pretending to eat pastries that smell of cinnamon and butter.
One night, he takes her to the very top of the Eiffel Tower and they dance in the moon light, literally on top of the world. She fills entire albums with photos, writing little notes next to them and her face hurts from smiling all the time.
He tells her that’s not possible, that their faces can’t
hurt, but hers does.
They go shopping, too, tiny boutiques filled with fashion and haute couture, beautiful dresses and sleek pants, high heels and short skirts. He frowns sometimes, when she comes dancing out of the dressing rooms, like he remembers something and she knows he’s thinking of Alice, which in turn makes her think of Edward, so she always bends down and kisses all his thoughts away until both their heads are empty and their hearts fill with love.
Her takes her to Berlin after that, a city built from the ashes of the past. She drags him through the entire city on a cloudy day and insists that they have their pictures taken in front of every single of the many pieces of the Mauer scattered around town.
They were cut out of the original wall before it was taken down and now they stand, all over the place, as reminders. Warning fingers pointing at the sky. History needs to be remembered, she thinks and stops in the middle of the road, confused.
History needs to be remembered?
She shakes her head. No. History doesn’t matter. Only the present does.
The past is meaningless and the present is Jasper and Bella, wherever they want to be, so in love.
London, then. Big Ben and the Tower, London Bridge and the London Eye.
They send post cards to Carlisle and Esme sometimes, but always on the last day of their stay, always so they can’t find them. Bella isn’t sure why, and Jasper isn’t either, but that’s how they do it.
They stay in a sweet little B&B at the edge of town, too far out for most tourists, but they don’t mind and spend their days curled around each other in bed, whispering secrets in each other’s ears.
The woman who owns the place thinks they are newlyweds and she fixes their breakfast trays with fresh strawberries and whipped cream that they never eat but always play with, their laughter ringing through the entire building.
They don’t go to Italy.
It’s silly of them, really, because Aro and Caius and Marcus are long gone. But there are still the ghosts of Alice and Edward and…
There’s nothing to see in Italy anyway. Spain is much more interesting, they decide. Barcelona is a good start and then, the seaside. Bella wants to play in the Mediterranean.
They make snow angels in Russia and get into a snow ball fight that last for hours until neither of them can feel their toes anymore and Jasper complains about the lack of body heat.
Bella tells him she remembers that it wasn’t so great, sweating and smelling and then she thinks of how glad she is that’s over and somehow, her minds drifts to that day, the day she died and Alice… Alice…
She woke later, three days later and there was the Guard, Jane and Alec and Aro and they didn’t think Aro would, didn’t think he could but he did and …
She suggests they take a hot bath and they do, splashing around in the outdoor whirlpool for the rest of the night. So happy.
It’s an accident really. Or coincidence. Something utterly unexpected.
They just finished hunting in the middle of the Russian wilderness and there is no living thing around for dozens of miles. It’s far too cold, far too brutal here. They fed and then ran until the last traces of life fell away.
They are sitting next to each other on a rock holding hands as they always do, breathing the other in.
So very, very happy.
And then something crashes behind them. Maybe rocks fall, maybe a crippled, pathetic tree cracks under the pressure of the snow, maybe a piece of ice splits down the middle. She doesn’t know, never will.
All she knows is that there’s that sound and she’s startled.
Throwing up the shield happens on instinct, no conscious thought on her part and as soon as it encases her fully…
As soon as it wraps around her, the manufactured love and bliss and happiness that Jasper has been feeding her falls away and a second later the feedback he got from her stops, too.
The loop breaks and they break with it, on their knees, and Bella remembers suddenly, remembers Edward and the ultimatum Aro gave him, remembers one year to turn her or they both die, remembers Edward saying he can’t, remembers Alice, sweet Alice saying she will, the bite, the burn, the silence, remembers waking to Aro’s face, Jane and Alec at his shoulders, smiling, smiling, smiling, so pleased and so vicious, Edward torn to pieces, Alice already burning, for breaking the law, for disobeying, for saving her, saving her life, for loving her, remembers Jasper coming, all rage and glory, bringing them to their knees, remembers limbs torn, venom splattered, remembers revenge taken, bloody and brutal, Aro, Jane, Alec, Caius, Felix, Marcus, anyone in their way, anyone at all.
But it didn’t help and the darkness didn’t fade, the pain didn’t go away and they were lost, so lost, without their other halves and Esme cried all the time and Rose was so angry and the boys lost all their smiles and Bella hurt, she hurt so badly inside and Jasper, oh Jasper, feeling her pain, feeling his own, feeding endlessly into each other and it never got better, never got easier and then he said he could fix it and she hurt so badly, so very badly and she said yes.
She said yes and he filled her to bursting with love and she gave it back to him and the past fell away and all the darkness was illuminated and they were happy, so very happy.
She sobs, curls into herself, a heap of broken shards, a mess, a destroyed girl, dead girl, girl with the shattered heart, she sobs and sobs and sobs and through eyes that won’t cry she sees Jasper, the same but silent, keening and rocking himself and she breaks all over again, crawls to him, tries, fails, tries again to drop her shield.
She manages finally and pulls him close, into her arms, his face against her chest, whispering in his ear, through her tearless sobs, through his wordless grief, whispering, “Jasper.”
And he keeps on rocking.
“Please,” she says and he finally looks up, meets her gaze, gold on gold and it hurts so badly she can’t move, can’t breathe, can’t do anything but sit there and wait to die and then he nods, just once and fills her up again.
And they are so, so happy.