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BtVS/AtS Commercials (and others, too)

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Summary: Specialty products for our favorite fandom(s). Taking suggestions! Oh, and fanart would be appreciated!!!

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > General > Ficlet Collections - Other(Current Donor)mmooch + 1 otherFR1582,8952517,5122 Dec 1027 Apr 13No

NOTE: This chapter is rated FR13



‘If you need a pulse, come to us.’

Challenge: need everyone’s help for ideas, ‘k? This one is from MBB.

Timeline: during AtS sometime.

Warning: not really bashing, I think.

A/N: I would especially love for any people who are good at doing fanart and would like to come up with pics for these commercials to notify me!

Thanks to my betas: none this time.

Disclaimer: BtVS and AtS characters belong to Joss Whedon / Mutant Enemy. Any inadvertent similarity to a real product is unintentional and/or not to be taken seriously. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission. Photos from or google search.

Scene 1 – sewers under Wolfram & Hart


‘Has this ever happened to you?’

Angel is standing in a sewer, holding a blowtorch and wearing goggles to protect his eyes. He sees the camera and starts talking, “I was trying to break in-- umm, enter a building where they had a vampire detection system. When they saw my movements without a corresponding heartbeat, I was captured—detained-- Oh, who cares if I was doing something technically illegal? They’re evil and I’m only trying to help people!”

‘He needs Pace-Creator to bypass those pesky systems,’ the announcer declares, then adds in a fast murmur, ‘Pace-Creator does not condone or encourage illegal behavior.’

Scene 2 – random graveyard


‘Or maybe this vampire’s story is like your own…’

As she’s watching a vampire dig its way out of a grave, Harmony smiles brightly at the cameras and says, “Whenever I eat somebody who has taken drugs which can knock me out for days, I thank Pace-Creator for helping me to avoid that pesky burial and rising that always happens because they can’t find a pulse on me. The first time is bad enough when you become a vampire, but all the other times? It’s no fun having to clean the dirt out of your hair and nails…not to mention the smell of coffin isn’t pleasant – especially to somebody with really good smelling abilities. And then there’s the--”

The announcer cuts her off as she goes into a tangent about clothes, ‘Pace-Creator: For the vampire who needs a pulse.’

A/N: I realize that the detectors W&H had were better than that, but cut me some slack, ‘k?
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