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Tale As Old As Time

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This story is No. 20 in the series "Life (And Unlife) In Sunnydale". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: Halloween AU -- Buffy exercises her female prerogative to select an entirely different costume, not just for herself, but also for a certain world-class brooder.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Movies > Edward Scissorhands(Recent Donor)ManchesterFR1311,566031,6837 Dec 107 Dec 10Yes
Disclaimer: I own nothing. All Buffy the Vampire Slayer characters and Edward Scissorhands characters are the property of their original owners.



Inside the costume shop, after spending for what seemed to her two friends standing next to this young woman to be a full minute devoted to silently staring at the magnificent gown before them, Buffy Summers announced, “I’ve changed my mind.”

At the girl’s right side, Xander Harris looked like Christmas had arrived several months early for him, instead of just Halloween tomorrow night, as that teenage boy now eagerly asked while bouncing on the balls of his feet, “You’re gonna introduce Captain Forehead to Mr. Pointy the next time you see him, just like a proper Slayer should? Can I be there? Can I take pictures? Can I, huh, Buffster?”

“NO!” snapped two feminine voices in unison, as both Buffy and Willow on the blonde’s other side then glared at a dejected high-school student now appearing as if his new puppy had just been run over by a steamroller. A second later, Buffy’s icy tone then further indicated what she really thought about that idiotic suggestion, not to mention the moron himself who’d specifically mentioned his greatest hope.

“Xander, get lost right now, and go find your costume for taking those trick-or-treaters around that Snyder forced us into, or I’ll make sure that you meet Mr. Pointy as the biggest wooden suppository ever!”

Feeling extremely put upon, that addressed young man then sullenly mooched off further into the costume shop away from his girls, waiting until he was safely out of sight down the aisles between the numerous outfits before he pretended to stick his finger down his throat and started to make fake vomiting sounds. Ignoring the immature noises coming from over there, Willow turned to where Buffy was again wistfully eyeing the gown, and the redhead asked with honest puzzlement, “Buffy, what’s going on? I’m positive that dress there is perfect, just the thing for showing Angel what you’d be like as one of those noblewomen he knew before he became a vampire.”

Buffy sighed, and then she looked at her baffled friend, as the Slayer explained to Willow, “Yeah, but the fact is, I’m not. I’m today’s girl, and if I dress up like an old-time lady, he can’t help but compare me against them. Nope, Wils, what I’ve got to do is to find something that I can wear tomorrow on Halloween that’ll show Angel what I really think about our relationship.”

“Oh,” blinked Willow, as she thought that over and began to actually agree with those sentiments. “Well, so what are you going to wear, anyway?”

“Dunno,” absently replied Buffy, as she glanced around the racks of costumes. “It’s gotta be romantic and modern, but I didn’t know there would be so many outfits here, of all kinds-- THAT’S IT FOR US BOTH!”

Buffy’s loud yelp of delight caused Willow also eyeing the costumes near herself to utter an alarmed squeak and also flinch away in her fright at that unexpected gleeful whoop. Turning with a rapidly-beating heart and an uncommon glare towards her friend, Willow stopped short in her annoyed reproof to stare at where Buffy was triumphantly pointing at a certain costume. Following the Slayer’s gesture, the redhead promptly boggled at what Buffy evidently had in mind, unthinkingly protesting, “Buffy, you’ve already got one of those; maybe two if you kept the first one from your last school!”

“Huh?” came from a bewildered Buffy, as she went on to inform Willow, “No, that’s the identical one-- Oh.” Suddenly realizing her friend’s misunderstanding, the Slayer took a couple of steps to the right so that Willow could now see the other male costume over there on its stand next to the girl’s uniform that a moment ago had been hidden by Buffy’s body.

Instantly recognizing not only that extraordinary character but also the utterly romantic movie and the dreamy actor appearing in this film, an ecstatic Willow sighed rapturously, “Ohhhh.”

“Yup,” beamed Buffy, as she stalked towards the pair of costumes that were now about to be taken to the cash register counter of the store manned by that creepy English guy selling his stuff, with Willow trailing along after the other girl.

As she watched the Slayer start to take down the female costume, the red-haired high school student doubtfully asked, “Buffy, do you really think you can talk Angel into wearing that?” with Willow finishing her question by nodding at the other masculine attire with its truly bizarre accouterments.

Handing her selected Halloween costume to Willow while considering the best way to get the other costume off its stand without too much bloodshed, Buffy now possessed a truly confident gleam in her eyes, as the blonde girl just snorted, “He doesn’t stand a chance of saying no.”



At last, he was going to finish the hat trick.

Looking down with his yellow eyes at the whimpering girl in her cheerleader costume firmly in his clutches, Spike grinned from ear to ear, his ridged features happily presenting every single sharp tooth in his mouth, as the vampire gloried in his ultimate triumph over yet another soddin’ Slayer. The monster once called William the Bloody didn’t know what the hell was going on tonight, but now that he was about to kill Buffy Summers, who really gave a damn exactly how that young woman had totally lost her superhuman powers and also her memories?

As he enjoyed deciding just where on his prisoner’s smooth neck he was going to sink his fangs into for his latest atrocity, one of Spike’s minions gathered around their chief at a safe distance in the Sunnydale alley and about to witness his victory tonight, now cautiously called, “Hey, boss, there’s somebody out in the street watching us. He looks really weird, too.”

Not even bothering to look up, Spike shortly replied, “Just tell him to bugger off,” as the vampire’s lips again pulled back and his head descended to end the Slayer’s life.

In the very next instant, there was the sound of onrushing footsteps towards the group of monsters inside the alley, and as a startled Spike tore his attention away from Buffy to snap up his head, he watched in utter shock at seeing every one of his underlings being handily dispatched by an unknown assailant cutting his way through the alley directly en route to their leader. Unable to properly see the attacker through all the falling bodies and the flying, detached limbs and heads, Spike hastily dropped to the ground the unharmed young girl he’d been holding captive, and got ready for doing whatever was best for him, either fighting or running like hell, but staying intact no matter what.

Unlike the last of his forces right in front of the English vampire now being messily disemboweled, accompanied by the sound of edged blades easily slicing through demonic flesh. As two separate pieces of a formerly whole body squelched onto the alley floor, Spike was at last actually able to see his opponent, which caused the former Londoner to gape in absolute astonishment at his newfound foe. A breath later that drew in a very familiar scent now had Spike blurting out, “Poofter, what the bleedin’ hell happened to you-- GAK!”

Kim Boggs remained curled up on the stained alley asphalt, arms protectively over her head, as the terrified girl trembled in her absolute horror, ignoring every sound above her, including the soft whisper of several pounds of dust pattering against the ground, which meant she didn’t yet know her former captor in this totally strange place was now extinct, and that she was once more safe and protected. Kim only became aware of the fact that she’d been rescued when two pairs of feet in their black leather boots stepped in front of her head, and the young cheerleader tearfully glanced up past more leather attire, to finish at the face of the being sorrowfully looking down at her. These features were completely unfamiliar, but Kim knew at once exactly who was peering through the eyes of the pale man with numerous scars upon his countenance.

Without actually thinking about it, Kim scrambled to her feet, and she quickly rushed forward to stop in front of Edward Scissorhands prudently holding his arms apart, just before throwing her own arms around the body of her defender, and sighing in sheer relief at knowing she was again with the love of her life.

His slashed chin lovingly resting upon the top of the young woman’s head, Edward now gently opened and closed the numerous scissors protruding from the ends of his wrists, with the soft scraping of all of this attached cutlery curiously comforting to Kim.



Author’s Note: Okay, it’s done. I got talked into this by a family friend who begged for a romantic Buffy/Angel paring. Since I owed her a favor, this was the result, even though my own feelings about having to write about that couple in love with each other are identical to one of my own personal heroes, a man named Al Bundy, loudly declaring: “I’d rather tempt a crocodile with my manhood.”

There’s not going to be any kind of sequel, and to make sure of this, anybody who asks for one will be firmly told that you want it, you do it, and here’s the title for that story, free of charge:

Hide Your Waterbeds, Folks

The End

You have reached the end of "Tale As Old As Time". This story is complete.

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