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Shaken, Not Stirred

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Summary: McKinley High has never seen anything quite like the Scrappies. Interconnected one-shots. **On Permanent Hold as of 12/13/11**

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > GleeJadedFR181648,7751921874,1468 Dec 1012 Aug 11No


Author: Jaded
Story: Shaken, Not Stirred
Disclaimer: Joss owns Buffy, Glee is owned by Fox. I write for fun, not for profit.
Summary: McKinley High has never seen anything quite like the Scrappies. Interconnected one-shots.
One Shot Summary: Santana gets kidnapped...
Warning: SPOILERS for “Born This Way”
Acknowledgments: Thanks to TouchoftheWind, Cmiller, RevDorothyL, rivrgrl, dizzyspirit, angeluscado, kyzhart, ScorpioP, Angelskuuipo, sistercity, liferscove, Alora, sabriel, emw, Lyd, liferscove, alexceasar, Daeth, & sunnyfan for the reviews!
A/N 1: Um...Hi? *runs and hides from angry readers* I know, I know, its been a while. See my end note for why!


They'd been sitting on her car when she got out of school that Friday. Brittany was going out for a slumber party at the transfer's house, a party Santana was seriously thinking of crashing. Then she'd gotten out of the school, late due to glee practice and Karofsky freaking out on her, and found the three women sitting on the hood. All were brunette, all had brown eyes, and all had their arms crossed as they scowled at her.

“Who the fuck are you?” she demanded. “Get off my car!”

“Santana, I presume,” the one on the right said. “S'nice to meet you—get inside.”

Santana was just about to demand to know what the hell they meant when she stopped. Something was telling her she really needed to be careful around these women—they may look copacetic but they were anything but. Still, she wouldn't be Santana Lopez if she didn't act like a bitch...

“Who the fuck are you to tell me what to do?!”

“Faith Wood,” the one on the left said, arms crossed and an amused look on her face. Her head jerked to the other women with her. “Kennedy Limon, Cordelia Chase.”


“Look, Bitch, I went to a lot of trouble to get the bigwigs I work with to let me come down for this intervention so get your ass in the car before I get testy!” Cordelia snapped. “I only have so much time!”

Santana refused to move, arms crossed and her best “Bitch, please” look on her face. Kennedy and Faith exchanged looks and the older woman nodded. Kennedy straightened, a feral grin on her face. Santana resisted the urge to fidget at the predatory gleam in her eyes.

“I hope you run,” the girl said. “Won't be as much fun if you don't.”


Santana barely had time to blink before the young woman and Faith both pounced forward, grabbing her by the arms and legs and practically throwing her in her backseat. Finally fearful of the three women, she couldn't do much of anything as they got in the car, Faith driving, and took off from the school.

By the time they stopped, they were miles from Lima, in the middle of practically no where. Faith pulled off to the side of the road and cut the engine before getting out. Santana debated a moment if she wanted to do the same—maybe she could run away?--but the option was taken out of her hands when the door next to her opened and she was yanked out.

“Alright, now that we have no distractions...You get to listen to us, get me?”

“You kidnapped me!” Santana said furiously. “Why the hell should I listen to you?!”

“Cause we're your only ride back to Lima?” Cordelia suggested. “Unless you'd like to walk the forty miles?”

Santana huffed, crossing her arms. As much as it pained her to admit it, even privately, they had a point. Her cell had no signal way out here and it could be miles before she came up on someone else or a signal strong enough to make a call. “Fine, talk.”

“You're a bitch, we get that,” Kennedy said. “We're not exactly golden girls ourselves.”

“And you're in high school, so the whole attitude thing? Well, it can't be excused but it can be understood,” Cordelia added. “Powers know I wasn't exactly a goody two shoes myself when I was your age.”

“But the tude isn't gonna make it in the real world, chica,” Faith continued. “You're on a rocky path, one that won't end pretty. And I don't think you want that.”

“You wanna get out of loser-town, fine. I get it, trust me,” Cordelia said. “But what do you think is going to happen when you do get outta this loser town and you still have this Bitch persona you got going for you? You think you're gonna make any friends? Actually manage to keep a job? No, you won't, and you'll end up in a fleabag apartment building with roaches the size of Texas and no food in your fridge.”

“Do I want to know?” Faith asked and Cordelia made a face.

“Dennis was a godsend,” was all she said and that seemed to be enough for the other brunette.

“I went through the same thing you did,” Kennedy finally said. “I'm a lesbian, Santana, and when I was thirteen, I was just like you.”

Santana's breath caught at the easy and blunt pronouncement from the woman. How did she...?

“Thing is, I made a choice,” she continued, oblivious to the effect she was having. “I decided fine, people want to make fun of me for who I love, let them. I am better than them in every way and they can kiss my ass. I was happy with who and what I was and no one was going to make me feel bad about that.”

“You give off this duck-like appearance, where everything just rolls off your back,” Faith said. “But they're still winning. Everytime you hide, everytime you pretend you're not who you are—they win. And from everything I heard, you don't exactly strike me as a loser, you know.”

“But the tude and the hiding? That is what makes you a Lima Loser,” Cordelia said and Santana swallowed heavily. “So you have to ask yourself one very important question—am I a loser or am I winner?”

“The sooner you figure that out, the happier you'll be.”

“What would you know about it?” she finally demanded. “You don't know what its like in Lima, the way people look at you. I'm not turning into Hummel!”

“You ever kill a man?” Faith asked, arms crossed and a stony expression on her face. “Ever be the cause of the death of another human being?”


“I have,” Faith said flatly and Santana involuntarily took a step back. “I went to prison for it—because they won. I let them dictate who and what I was. It took me sitting in the pen, in solitary, to realize...I was a loser because I let them manipulate and walk all over me. I'm not saying you'll end up the same place but its a possibility—cause I see a lot of me in you. The anger, the fear, the feeling like there's no one you can talk to. Don't let them fucking win, Lopez. You're better than that.”

“But you have to prove it—both to yourself and to them,” Kennedy added. “Don't let them tell you you're crazy or wrong because of who you are. You love Brittany and she loves you—but she's not willing to hide it and until you get with the program, you're not gonna get with her. I lost my first love the same way.”

“And you lost your second love cause you were a plain idiot,” Cordelia rolled her eyes. “I'm not sure who was more pissed off with you, me, Joyce, Jesse, Anya, or Tara.”

“Focus!” Faith snapped and the other two brunettes glared at her. She ignored them, looking at Santana. “We're not saying change who you are—you don't change for no-one, you got me?”

“We're just saying you gotta realize the inner Queen inside,” Cordelia smirked, arms crossed. “But a queen knows and accepts who she is—so until you do, you're no Queen.”

End Note: So...its been a while. I apologize, I meant only to take a break this summer, as I needed to nothing. If I hadn't, well, the white men with the “Hug Me” jackets would have come. :/ That said, I'm putting everything I currently have on hold as I need to reread stuff, re-watch episodes, etc. before I can start writing again. I'll be updating all three of my WIP's one more time with this notice. My mother suggested I do another fic, to try and get my creative juices flowing again in a optimal direction, so I've been thinking of this and I came up with something. If you leave a review, please give me one word—really anything that comes to mind. I will choose ten and write drabbles set in one of my many fandoms. I thank you in advance.

The End?

You have reached the end of "Shaken, Not Stirred" – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 12 Aug 11.

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