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The Rantings of a Madman

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Ficlet(s)

Summary: A simple collection of plot ideas, one-shots, and add-ons to my already existing stories.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > General
Miscellaneous > Surprise Crossover
zTiamaTzFR18826,9312188,1987 Jan 117 Nov 11No

Last Chance

Title: Last Chance

Author: zTiamaTz

Email: WMullen78@Yahoo.com

Beta By: Starway Man

Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Angel the Series, along with the characters from their respective shows, are owned by Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.

Description: Before going to deal with Professor Lester Wirth, Faith gets an unexpected visitor at her apartment.

Continuity: This is a small piece of the story 'Let's Make A Deal'.

A/N: This story will be entirely from Faith's POV.

A/N 2: This takes place after Faith starts working for the Mayor, so expect some canonical bashing of various Scooby Gang members.


}¤|¤{
THE TRAP
}¤|¤{
I finished tying up my Doc Martens, and went over to the dresser to grab the knife which the boss had given me. The thing was just nasty looking, but totally wicked cool, and simply begging to be used.

Tonight, like it or not, it was gonna get used.

The Mayor wanted some egghead off’ed for finding out something he wasn't supposed to. Worst I ever had to do for a sugar daddy before was turn a trick, but now I had to murder some dude.

I couldn't bitch about it, though, it’s not like I expected any different after I signed up with the bad guy, right? I figure get it done quick and clean, painless as possible. Guy hadn’t done anything worth making him suffer, anyways.

As I stuck the knife into my jacket pocket, someone started banging at the door. Probably another one of them goddamn vamps the boss has on retainer. I swear, they'd been a pain in my ass since I took this job.

The number one vamp after Trick got dusted showed up that very same night, thinking he was gonna get a piece. Shit-for-brains soon learned otherwise, on account of I rammed a stake up his ass before sticking it into his heart.

Bottom line, ever since I became a Slayer? I was no one’s fuck toy.

I ended up making a big show of having another one of those leeches come in to sweep his dust up. They all had invites, since they were the ones that had moved all the boss’s shit in.

Problem was, vamps just ain't that bright. Not even three days later, I found another one in my place, sniffing my panties from the laundry hamper. Fucking perv. I left that one alive, letting him explain to his buddies what a ruptured nut sack felt like.

"I'm coming!" I screamed, even as the pounding continued. Obviously someone hadn't got the fucking memo. They sure were now though.

That shit still gave me giggles. You never heard a vamp howl, till you crushed his balls between the heel of your boot and the floor. Before tonight, I thought that had made the message pretty goddamn clear.

Hell, I'd even told the Mayor to do that spell to keep his fuckin’ vamps out outta my crib. Last thing I needed was B's undead boy toy walking in here, and trying ta hump me too.

Finally at the door, I started undoing the locks. Even still, the bastard kept right on banging. If this wasn't the boss himself, whoever was on the other side of this door was gonna eat my size nine.

I threw open the door, to see someone in a biker jacket. I couldn't see the face 'cause the guy was holding a camera up. "What the fuck do you want?!"

Instead of replying, the camera gave off a super-bright flash right in my face, causing me to take a step back.

"You forgot to say cheese, Slayer!" the man exclaimed, before the sound of footsteps took off down the hallway toward the stairs.

I blinked the flash outta my eyes. I didn't know who this guy was, but when I got my hands on him, I was gonna shove that camera so far up his ass, he'd be spittin' film.

}¤|¤{
I burst through the door and went down a level; I could see him going down the next, probably trying to get out of the building. That was the smartest and last thing he'd ever do.

The screech of the street exit door opening, it told me what was the what. I had told the Mayor he needed to get one of his vamps to grease it, but now I was glad it hadn't happened.

Shortly after, I threw the door open and found the bastard was still pointing that camera at me too.

"How about a pretty smile this time, huh?"

This guy had guts, I'd give him that much. Rushing forward, I caught him by surprise. Slapping the camera from his hands, I grabbed him by the front of his shirt, and slammed him against the alley wall.

I stared him in those red eyes of his. He was pale as shit too, with long, greasy black hair. Looked like a reject from one of those dumb-ass Goth clubs.

"I'd let go if I were you," the man warned in a gravelly voice, without a care in the world.

Ignoring him, I started to wrap my other hand around his neck, when there was suddenly an arm around my throat. Then a hand of the back of my head.

"Don’t move. If you do, I’ll snap your neck in an instant," a man's voice growled in my ear. “Now let him go. Carefully.”

Mama Lehane didn't raise no dummy. I let go of the guy’s shirt and throat, and was instantly pulled back, before being thrown face-first into a nearby wall. Before I could shake it off, the man was there again, keeping me in place.

"Faith Marie Lehane, born December fourteenth, nineteen eighty in Boston, Massachusetts. Mother, Katherine Jane Lehane, nee Miller, deceased. Father, George Patrick Lehane, serving a life sentence at Souza-Baranowski Correctional Center for first degree murder."

"Is there a point ta all this?" I was hoping these guys weren't Council. They didn't sound like limeys, but who knew how the Watchers really worked? Diana, my first Watcher, she’d been pretty tight-lipped on how her bosses operated. I wouldn't put it past ol' Wussley to sic these pricks onto me.

"Watcher, Professor Diana Dormer, deceased," the man continued, ignoring my question. "Watcher, Gwendolyn Post, deceased. Hmm...Watcher Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, alive."

They weren't Council, otherwise they wouldn't have included Post. So who the fuck were they?

"It seems to us, Miss Lehane, that people have a nasty habit of dying around you. Does that sound about right?"

Like any of that shit was my fault; even with Diana, there was nothing I could have done for her. "Ya know what, fuck you guys."

"Really?" the bigger man asked, as pressing my face harder against the wall. "After you're dead, we might just give that a try."

"We really don't like your attitude, Miss Lehane, and if you think that your boss' minions are going to come save you, forget it. It's just you and us."

I hated to admit it, but these guys scared the hell out of me. They talked about screwing my corpse like it was nothing to them. "Who are you?"

The camera man snorted. "My name is Mister Port, and my associate with the grip on your neck is Mister Storm. We're here for information. Now you can either cooperate, or you can die."

"It's up to you, Faith-y, one way or the other," a familiar voice added, as he walked out of the darkness in the alley toward us.

I stared in shock, what the fuck was going on here? "Harris?"

}¤|¤{
I shuddered, these two fucking psychos and now him? A click-clack that sounded like a pistol round being chambered echoed in the alley. A few seconds later, I knew for sure it was, since the gun was pressed to my left temple.

Fuck it, this was bad. I so much as twitched, it was either a case of broken neck or a metal slug deep inside my brain. Either way, Slayer healing wouldn’t help.

"See, Faith, I know I screwed up by having sex with you the night the world almost ended. But when I came to your room a few weeks later, it wasn't for a second taste. I was trying to help you."

"What, Boy Toy, ya gonna fix the problem by shooting me now?" Fuck it, he had a gun to my head anyways.

"Come on. If I wanted you dead, these fine gentlemen from the Order of Taraka would have done the job already, and been halfway outta town by now," Xander answered.

Oh shit, how the hell did he get them here? Diana had told me all about these guys back in Boston, they were bad fucking news.

"Now, I’ve cut a deal that could work out for you and everybody else. Well, except Hizzoner the Mayor of course..."

He gave me that stupid grin of his, and fuck me, but I just wanted to punch his lights out so bad I could fuckin’ taste it. "What kinda deal are you talking 'bout?"

"I have in my possession three rings from former members of the Order who came here to kill Buffy last year," Harris explained evenly. "Rather than fighting the Slayer, or her pet vamp, I offered to retrieve them - for a price."

"What?!" I screamed; spit flying from my mouth as soon as I figured it out. "You decided to give 'em a replacement Slayer to take it all out on, you fuckin’ asshole?!"

"It's circumstance, Miss Lehane," the Port guy told me. "Mr. Harris presented us with certain information, and the Order has no wish to see an Old One walk the earth once more; it would put us out of business."

"So tell me, Harris, what keeps 'em from offing you once they got their precious rings?" If I could get them to fight with each other, I might have a chance here.

Instead, Xander snorted. "Come on Faith, give me some credit," he replied, mock-insulted. "I made a blood pact with these guys, before I spilled what I knew; and as long as I don't go against the Order's interests here and now, we part ways peacefully."

"That caveat, however," Storm, growled in my ear, "does not have to include you."

}¤|¤{
I sighed, knowing I wasn't gonna be able to bullshit my way outta this. "Whaddya wanna know?"

"We've had your building under surveillance for the past two days," Camera Guy explained. "We know you're planning to silence someone for Wilkins tonight. Tell us who."

I hesitated; Wilkins had done right by me so far. Nice apartment, new clothes, a freaking Playstation...he seemed to really care about me, could I really screw him over like this?

"What's it going to be, Miss Lehane, answers?" The big guy asked, as he breathed into my ear. "Or should we determine how much fun we are going to have with your corpse?"

I glanced over to Harris, who'd heard the whole thing. He just stood there stone-faced with the pistol in his right hand, pointed at the ground. His left hand was at his side, with a bandage wrapped around it. He didn't seem to give a shit what happened to me, one way or another.

"Don't look at me, Faith," Xander growled. "I saved your ass once, and look what I got for it in return."

Storm's grip on my neck tightened - painfully. "It seems you are an expert at burning bridges, Miss Lehane. What difference does it make at this stage, if you burn one more?"

I knew right then the game was over, the only chance I had was ta give 'em what they wanted, and hope they gave me a head-start.

"There's this old guy at UC Sunnydale, named Professor Lester Wirth. The boss wanted me to kill him, and destroy whatever papers and shit he had at his apartment. Don’t ask me why, I never bothered to find out..."

“What else? Tell us what you know about the Ascension,” Xander demanded. “I know Buffy and Deadboy thought you spilled your guts completely when you thought Angelus was loose, but then we both know how you aren’t that dumb, Faith.”

I spilled my guts about everything I knew concerning Wilkins' operation. No matter how little or stupid it was. That fucking gun barrel resting against my head didn’t exactly give me a choice in the matter.

Twenty minutes later, we were done. I knew that, 'cause the big guy slammed my head against the wall and let me drop to the ground.

As blood poured down the left side of my face, I heard the three of them talking. Looking over to them, I saw Harris hand a small, black bag to the big one.

I tried to move or at least do something, but it felt like I was drunk or stoned or some shit like that.

"We're going to secure Professor Wirth, and find out what he knows," Mister Port said. "If we can stop Wilkins before he turns into whatever pure demon form he has in mind, we will do so."

"Understood," Xander nodded. "What are you going to do with her?" He gestured to me with his gun.

"Nothing. She cooperated with our interrogation, and since there is no contract for her termination and she does not owe us any money, it is not our place to kill her. As far as the Order is concerned, Mister Harris, what happens to Miss Lehane now is for you to decide," Mister Storm said.

With that, the two of them walked away, leaving me alone with a very different Xander Harris than I'd ever thought possible...

}¤|¤{
My old boy toy crouched down a few feet from me, making sure to keep his distance. That close, I could see healing bruises on his face, and what looked to be a busted lip. Damn, someone had worked him over real good.

"Believe it or not, Faith, before your little journey into the Dark Side of the Force, I liked you a lot. And it wasn't on account of how appealing your tits were, or how nice your ass looked in leather either."

He was fucking with me now. I didn't know what his game was, but I wasn't interested in playing anymore. I’d sold out the boss, and everyone in B’s fan club was out for my blood. I couldn’t move, on account of some weird shit that had been done to me – probably that Cruciamentum drug, or something like it. I was screwed, and we both knew it.

"Just fucking get it over with, Harris."

"Alright," Xander said simply, taking a few steps closer, but still keeping out of reach. I looked up at him, with my blood-stained face. He had the gun leveled at my head. "Say goodbye, Faith."

There was nothing else to say, this was it. "Goodbye," I whispered, before squeezing my eyes shut.

- Click -

The next few seconds was dead quiet, and I finally managed to open my eyes again. The fucking asshole was just standing there, putting one of those magazine things into the gun!

"Faith, I have only two things to say. One, the drugs will wear off in less than two minutes. Two, you're dead if you stay here in Sunnydale any longer. You know it, I know it, and if that vamp on the roof watching us right now works for Wilkins like I think he does, the Mayor will soon know it too. So get the fuck out of town. I never want to see you again."

The goddamn bastard then just walked away, tucking the gun into his jacket. Finally getting to my feet, I headed for the front door of the building - on account of I had a lot of packing to do in a big hurry...

Fuck it. Easy come, easy go. Although I was really gonna miss that Playstation.

}¤|¤{
A/N 3: Please see my story 'Let's Make A Deal', to see how Xander got involved with the Tarakans.

}¤|¤{
THE END
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