Disclaimer: BtVS is all the work of Joss Whedon. The fic was inspired by Red Jump suit Apparatus “Face down”. Lyrics can be found here :
Some lines are taken from the song.
AU post ‘Normal Again’
Buffy Summers had no experience covering bruises with makeup. This was not something she’s been doing since she was 15 years old and mastered long before she finished high school. If the motions seemed familiar or automatic it was only from her recent experiences. She closed her eyes for a moment, collecting herself before returning to he task in hand. A dab more concealer and that black eye was practically invisible, if you weren’t looking for it.
She refused to remember a time when she was attracted to strong men because they could keep up with her. She liked strong men because they could protect her. Buffy Summers was weak, she had spent a long time in therapy learning that since her ‘incident’. If one could refer to a six year catatonic state as an ‘incident’. She was not strong, she was not a hero, she was just a girl, in the big bad world. That’s why she liked strong men. And He was strong.
She didn’t want to be the girl covering up with make up in the mirror, telling herself I would never happen again. She really did believe that he loved her, but more than that there was nothing she could do because Buffy Summers was not strong. If she fought back she would be arguing that fact that had been drilled into her head since she woke, her sanity hung on her not being strong. If He had to push her around to feel like a man then that was ok, because He was her man and He took care of her. Who else would want the broken doll that Buffy had become?
Today was worse than normal for some reason. He was in a bad mood and He’d been drinking. Today he only felt better when she fell to the ground. Today she felt a bone snap and something in her mind snapped with it. A voice in her head that sounded like her own was talking to her asking “Are you ready to be strong?” And she was ready,
She laughed, face down in the dirt she said ‘this doesn’t hurt” she stood up and faced Him “I’ve finally had enough” Buffy Summers was not weak, she was strong, she was a hero and he was nothing to her. She could end this, it was over. She’d had enough.
Buffy Summers looked even smaller than normal lying in that bed with tubes all over her and machines beeping in the background. The bruises were fading now and he broken bones were healing, but still she slept. He had long since been taken away in the back of a police car.
Buffy Summers might never wake up but she lay in her hospital bed with a smile on her face. It was alright because in the world behind her eyelids Buffy Summers was strong. She was a hero.