Evil, Sentient Mold-Covered Twinkie
Chapter Number: 01/01
Story Summary: Xander finds something in his kitchen cabinets. He’s pretty sure it used to be a Twinkie.
DISCLAIMER: I Do Not Own Buffy the Vampire Slayer, or anything related to it.
Date (Upload Date): 01/25/11
Date (2011 Calendar Date): 01/19
Takes place shortly after SWIC Chapter 7
and Breakup Chapter 1
Shortly after the last Committee meeting, Xander found himself in his apartment’s kitchen, looking through the cabinets trying to find a snack. Reaching in the back, he came across something fuzzy. Then it moved, and jumped out of the cabinet before scurrying under the table. Xander, meanwhile, let out a shriek and jumped up on the table.
“Since when are rats green?” He peeked under the table (while still on top of it).
“What the hell?” There, under his table, was a small circular rectangle covered in green and blue fuzz. It chattered up at him and then began purring. A strong scent of mold hit Xander.
“Ugh. Is that you?” It chattered up at him again.
“Great, a sentient mold-covered Twinkie. At least, I hope you’re a Twinkie.” It continued purring.
“What do I do with a sentient mold-covered Twinkie?” It still continued purring, before taking a bite out of his table leg, causing the table to lean, and Xander to tumble off it.
“No, bad Twinkie! No eating my table!” It ignored him, and finished eating the table, growing larger with every swallow.
“Big moldy Twinkie, not good.” The Twinkie continued eating things and growing.
“Shit!” Xander grabbed the nearest weapon – an axe – and attacked.
The Twinkie ate his axe.
“Double shit!” The Twinkie let out a roar, just as Willow burst into Xander’s apartment.
“Leave him alone!” She waved her hand towards the Twinkie and it exploded into many bits.
“Evil, sentient mold-covered Twinkie. It got big.” Xander explained. Then he noticed the tear tracks. “Willow? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”
“Kennedy, she, she,-“
“Kennedy’s not hurt is she?”
“Not yet. We can’t let Buffy find out.”
“Find out what, Will?”
“At what?” Willow stared at him.
“Oh, you mean, oh. That bitch.”
“Xander. I need to get away for a little while.”
“Alright, so we go see Giles and get him to send you somewhere else for a while.”
“You won’t tell Buffy?”
“If she finds out, it won’t be from me, promise.”