Disclaimer: Buffy is the property of Joss Whedon and cronies. Stargate goes to MGM and various other rich people.
Buffybot dodged the shot the demon minions fired as she rolled closer to her goal. Her sensors had determined that the designated enemy was not, in fact, a sorcerer. She had endeavored to communicate this information to the Willow, the one currently in charge of servicing her, but the red headed gay witch had not payed her analysis much consideration. Had she been human the robot would have taken offense to being dismissed so easily with a look. As it was, her subroutines activated to 'keep service giver/best friend happy' and she resumed her distraction orders.
Andrew, the one who had changed from 'creator-minion/friend' to 'enemy' to 'ally' had visibly jumped at her assessment and opened his mouth to speak with her, but a hand gesture from the Willow had silenced him. Of course, in the middle of a battle logical arguments were not advisable and Buffybot understood that.
She jumped up and quickly grabbed the staff-shaped weapon wielded by the demon minion and ripped it from his grasp before knocking him out. What she could only describe as static moved from the weapon to her arms and up into her hard drives. It was technology! It was highly advanced, but still technology.
Buffybot smiled as she used to staff blaster to take out opponents and give the mini-slayers time to evacuate the chamber. Her systems flashed warning as a red hot blast singed her plas-skin. Frowning, she whirled and fired in retaliation, accidentally hitting a crystal that was attached by wires to a strange mirror.
The mirror that was the reason they had mounted the assault. The Giles had determined it was a portable mini-hellmouth type thing.
Dangerous, and now glowing an angry red.
"Bottie!" The Andrew called in worry as the Willow grabbed him and rushed up the stairs and back into the mansion proper.
Buffybot smiled. Her 'best friend' would escape. Briefly, she felt her systems query why the Willow, her 'best friend', only ever repaired her long enough for a mission that she inevitably broke down during the performance of. She frowned as her logic algorithms flashed warnings. Her squishy-systems had taken sever damages due to the long periods of inactivity and wouldn't survive another.
Her visual inputs whited out as the mirror exploded.
When Buffybot next came online, she was within a forest. Initial scans and up-link with local GPS systems determined she was in the same geographic location, only not underground. And the abandoned mansion that the 'god' had been using was no where in sight. Strange, but Buffy Bot didn't think about it.
Her attempts to contact the Willow or any of the Scoobies had met with failure.
Spike was also unavailable. Luckily, when she had been created it was not with technology alone. For one, Spike had demanded a quicker order and in order to fit in all the personal information her creator, the Warren, had been forced to use magic. Magic that gave her superior logic and problem solving skills based on past experience. In other words, Buffybot could learn and adapt.
With the lack of anyone to take orders from, Buffybot had fallen back to her default sub routine under the file of 'destiny'.
So she traveled around searching for evil to exterminate. Which brought her to her current situation. Her systems told her the boy wasn't really a boy. He should have been a baby, but his visual was that of a teenager, and his demands were that of a man.
Very confusing, but was he evil?
She didn't know. So she would find out! She could ask him, the small demon community she discovered in a series of caves out in west Texas had told her they were not evil and even offered her asylum! The only evil demon she'd met so far had been in New Orleans and he had admitted as much when she queried him. He was dead now.
But they were not fighting, so it would be rude to approach a totally random person, who may-or-may-not be a baby, and ask if they were evil. A file opened in her view screen. Excellent idea Xander-program!
Smiling brightly Buffybot picked up the packet of wiring and needle-nose pliers she had come in for and headed to the back refrigeration units where she could find a six pack. The bell above the shop door jingled as she set her purchases on the counter and a military-man walked in.
Xander-program supplied the relevant information including the mans estimated rank and probable special forces. Buffybot thanked the Xander-program as the Willow-program gave a summary of 'Initiative' and 'Adam' files in little pop-up boxes with flashing warnings. Buffybot considered as the Giles-program came on and dismissed the Willow-program with a well sound argument.
The bot's logic algorithms had been evolving. Magic was handy like that.
She decided to ignore the man and resume her progress to her objective. She paid the gas-clerk-man and exited the store while scanning for her target. He was walking away, shoulders slouched, hands in his brown jacket pockets. Classic signs of depression, her Riley-program commented.
"Excuse me! Baby-boy-man!" The robot called softly as she sped up her pace. The target stilled, glanced around, and slowly turned. Buffy bot stopped and noticed his sudden change in heart rate that the Oz-program pointed out while bringing up various files on the Giles and the Xander and the Riley. "Hello. I'm Buffy."
She continued to smile as she slipped her pliers and wire into her pocket while holding out the case of beer.
He looked at the beer, at her, and took a measured step back. But he didn't run. Thinking he did not notice her offering Buffy shook the case lightly. "My Xander-program has indicated it is proper to 'break the ice' with alcohol, and you indicated your wish to imbibe with the gas-clerk-man."
The male huffed and hesitantly took hold of the case while slipping a can out and walking away, motioning for her to follow. "Xander-program, huh? You a robot?"
Buffybot smiled brilliantly, pleased. "Yes!" Oh. Wait. "Though I would ask that you forget that. My Willow-program insists on maintaining absolute secrecy from military-types. Though that... excuse me... processing..."
Jack was happy he had finally got his beer. He was not happy that it was a robot that brought it to him, but how had she gotten past Gate security? Was she sent by whatever Asgard that had kidnapped him, to monitor him?
Then why the beer?
Not that he was going to complain about that. Looking at her blank expression as she walked stiffly along with him he could very easily imagine one of those hour-glasses turning over on her face, or the colorful spinning wheels to indicate busy signals.
When they reached the park she finally blinked and looked around. "Baby-boy-man,"
"Jack. Call me Jack."
"Jack, my energy and mystical sensors do not agree with my visual sensors. Therefore, you are unnatural." She ignored the anger creeping onto his face. "Are you evil? If you are, I am required to kill you. It is my destiny."
"I'm NOT evil! I... wait... you kill evil?" He sat on a bench and sipped his beer while his brain tried to figure out if the blonde robot was a threat.
"Yes. It is why I was created, and to make Spike happy, but Spike is not here and I have not been able to find him. So I have been looking for evil. Since you are not evil, I do not have to kill you."
"Do you ask everyone you find if they're evil?"
"No. Only those that are not human or are anomalies. Do you know where I can find some evil?"
Jack snorted. "Do I..." He muttered wistfully while thinking of the glowing eyed wanna-be's of the stars. He shook his head.
The robot smiled again. "Since you are not evil, would you assist me? I damaged a circuit on my last patrol when I encountered a human-type evil. It has come loose and my self-diagnostic has determined that I cannot reach it myself." She held out the copper wiring she had purchased as well as the pliers. Jack looked at his half-finished beer and her unabashed hopeful smile.
"Sure. Why not. You got me beer."
Jack had followed the robots instructions, cleared out some burnt wiring, and tied a few things back in place. Evidently her problem wasn't fatally damaging but instead had been interfering with her wireless systems. In other words, her satellite hacking capabilities.
She could hack satellites. But she only used them to figure out where she was and the fastest way to get where she wanted to go. And occasionally to order pizza.
She didn't know about the Stargate.
Strange little robot. But she didn't pretend to be a person. Though he was guessing she had a loose wire somewhere in there that she didn't tell him about. He managed to convince her to stick around, encase he needed her to make another beer run and partially because he was thinking about handing her over to Carter.
But then she insisted on going on a 'patrol' because 'evil' usually operated at night.
He made her promise to meet him at the motel later. He wanted to figure out where the hell she'd come from, and how long she'd been on Earth. He was starting to suspect she'd been made by some lonely mad scientist that couldn't get a date.
Jack put a fresh worm on the hook as he heard boots crunching on the ground. He frowned. "Unless you brought beer, that's close enough."
The first day, he let the old him drop him off. It wasn't however, air-force personnel that picked him up after and since: blonde, incredibly bright smile, greenish eyes, beautiful. Buffy opened the door for him and he stepped in. Her head tilted slightly backward in a motion Jack was coming to recognize as a program starting.
"How was your day? Do I need to slay anyone?"
Ah, yes. So whatever alternate reality the robot was from had a clone of her (or at least the original non-robot her), one that had become accepted as her sister, that she took care of. Upon learning of Jack's 'clone' status her programming had activated and determined that he was her little brother. It was simple logic, and very very wrong, but he wasn't going to change that decision.
Buffy had her uses.
One of which was standing in on parent-teacher meetings. Even though he was legally emancipated it helped not to have to call the SGC when he got in trouble for fighting. The jerks did have it coming, after all.
"Did you slay anyone?"
"Only that dick Larry in homeroom. He was bothering Ames again. I broke his nose and bruised some ribs."
"Yup. She's totally into me."