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Summary: Random fragments of stories, some longer than others. I figured I'd share and maybe I'll continue some that people like. Mostly Buffy crossovers with some HP and other stuff as well.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > General > Ficlet Collections - OtherDireSquirrelFR151671,426312128,31720 Feb 1126 Feb 12No

Giles, Rupert Giles

A Halloween fic. Basically the same as Cannon, except that Giles turns into a certain British Super Spy at the behest of his charge. Jenny like.



“Hey! Let’s get Giles a costume,” Buffy whispered conspiratorially to her friends. They had already purchased their own costumes and had a little money left over.

“Ooo! I know, since he’s English, let’s get him a Doctor Who scarf!” Willow suggested. Buffy wasn’t convinced.

“What’s Dr. Who?” She gave her friend a look usually used towards her overly stuffy Watcher.

“Ladies, I think I have our solution,” Xander said, holding up a package. The girls glanced at it and squealed.



“Giles! We bought you a present,” Buffy announced as they strode through the library doors. She brandished a costume that they had all pitched in to buy earlier.

“Buffy, I hardly think there is any reason for me to dress up in a tuxedo,” Giles said, taking the costume from her outstretched hands.

“It’s a special Tuxedo, we got it ‘cuz you’re all English and stuff,” Willow said with an excited look on her face.

“Giles, it’s a simple matter of tit for tat,” Xander said with a shrug. “We suffer therefore so should you.”

“Oh, dear lord,” Giles said with an exasperated sigh before cleaning his glasses. “I suppose I will wear it tonight.” He was rewarded by twin squeals of delight. He slipped into his office and a few moments later he had changed into his costume.

“Well done, Giles,” Xander said with a nod.

“All three of you conspired to get me to dress up as James Bond,” asked Giles as he pulled the Walther PPK from its holster under his jacket.

“Say it!” Commanded Buffy with undisguised glee. Giles glanced at her and sighed.

“Very well,” he replied under his breath. “Bond, James Bond.”

Buffy bounced up and down with glee.

“Rupert, looking classy this evening,” said an appreciative Jenny Calendar as she walked through the doors. She glanced at the Scooby Gang with a smile. “Good work you guys.”

“May I get out of this now,” asked the exasperated librarian.

“No!” came the reply from four directions. Jenny turned to the Scoobies and motioned them to go.

“Don’t you three have to go take kids around town?” The three quickly ran away.

“May I please change into my usual clothing,” Rupert pleaded. Jenny simply brushed a hand across his chest and leaned down to whisper in his ear.

“Don’t you dare.”



Everything had gone to hell. Xander was a soldier, Buffy was a weakling, and Willow was a ghost, a very panicked ghost who really wanted to be back in her body. She ran to the school library, passing through every physical obstacle in her way to save time. What she found in the library was not what she was expecting.

Giles and Ms. Calendar were rather…indisposed. Without clothing. Any clothing. And there was screaming. The good kind of screaming. And empty martini glasses. And a shaker, not a stirrer. And Willow had walked in. And couldn’t bring her self to walk out.

“eep,” was all she managed to get out. At the sound, Giles spun himself and Ms. Calendar around and shot Willow through the head with his PPK. Willow was very happy she had gone as a ghost.

“Giles! You shot me!”

“And yet you still live,” Giles replied. He turned his attention back to Ms. Calendar who was still intent on their other activity. “Who is Giles?”

“You expect me to answer that,” asked Jenny with disbelieving look.

“You are!” Willow’s eyes were about the size of dinner plates. Her eyes drifted…downward. And then she snapped them back up. Eyecontact was important.

“You are quite mistaken young lady,” Giles said. “My name is Bond, James Bond.”

“No you’re not, you just think you are,” Willow said, trying to keep her eyes from straying. “It’s the costume that’s doing this! Well maybe not entirely the costume, but Imeanitsnotlikethisisn’tsomethingthatIhaven’theardabout.”

“Young lady, come back in an hour and we can discuss this,” Giles said, but then glanced down at Jenny. “Make that two hours.” Willow’s eyes, if it could be believed, grew even wider. With another eep she ran through the wall. Bond rolled his eyes and turned back to Jenny Calendar.

After a couple of minutes, Jenny pressed her palm against his chest, pushing him away. “Rupert, I mean, James. You should really go help. I’ll be waiting when you’re done.” She pulled away and started putting on her bra. “I’m going to get dressed.”

“Oh, don’t bother on my account,” commented Giles.

“And so should you,” commanded Jenny with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh the things I do for England.”



A moment after the Watcher/Spy left the room, Jenny Calendar, rested her chin in her hands with a huff. “Stupid Hellmouth, I thought he was just getting into character.”



I don't own Buffy or James Bond.

Where I was going with this? Not a clue. I just busted it out one night.
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