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Summary: Random fragments of stories, some longer than others. I figured I'd share and maybe I'll continue some that people like. Mostly Buffy crossovers with some HP and other stuff as well.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > General > Ficlet Collections - OtherDireSquirrelFR151671,426312228,50220 Feb 1126 Feb 12No

I am Uatu-What if Buffy was from Maine?

The first of several ideas I had along these lines. What if Buffy wasn't raised Californian? And since Maine and California are practically different cultures, this seemed to fit.

“I am Uatu, the Watcher. I have seen many worlds and seen the many possibilities of each Earth. What happens in one, may not happen in another. A small, seemingly insignificant change can have drastic changes to a reality. Sometimes it can be as minor as buying the last Danish, in others it is a death. There are countless possibilities and I have viewed them. Come with me as we watch one such possibility.

“Many know of the tale of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. How she defeated the master vampires Lothos, the Master and Angelus. They know of the Defeat of the Mayor and the Quest to Save the Key. How a valley girl saved the world time and time again and eventually gave the First Evil its greatest defeat in memory.

“But that is not the only possibility. There are countless others. But what if Buffy Summers was not raised in California? What if Buffy Summers was raised in Maine?”

In this world, Buffy Summers was raised in Greene, Maine, and burned down the school gym while fighting the Master Vampire Lothos. Upon hearing this, the citizens of Maine School Administrative District 52 cheered, because it forced the state to give them money to build a new one after thirty years of leaky roofs, warped floors and rusty lockers. It was officially listed as an “accidental” problem with hot lights and prom decorations.

During the subsequent divorce, Joyce Summers decided to open a new gallery and found a wonderful one based in Sunnydale, California where there was an incredibly cheap housing for sale as well. And so, the two Summers women moved all the way across the country to their destiny.

“Buffy, enjoy your first day at school,” Joyce said as the girl stepped out of the jeep.

“Mom, I’ll be fine,” the slayer said with a smile. At least that is what she had hoped. In reality it was much more complex. Buffy, dressed in a white shirt and jeans walked through the southern Californian high school like a fish out of water. This was nothing like Maine. Back home they would still be wearing flannel shirts and sturdy boots for mud season. Here in Sunnydale, it was stifling hot, but at least it was a dry heat. She missed the woods, the Spring and the mountains. In the short time she had already been at school, she had been run into and messed up twice. She was lucky that her Slayer abilities had kept things from being a complete disaster. In history a nice, a stuck up girl had helped her along, but Cordelia Chase seemed to be looking more for another minion rather than a friend.

Buffy decided to head to the library to see if she could get her own school books. Once there she met her new Watcher for the first time.

“I’m looking for a book…” before the words were out of her mouth, the librarian had placed a book entitled “Vampyr” on the counter. “…but not that one. Watcher I assume?”

“Yes, you are Buffy Summers, correct?”

Buffy thought he was a bit goofy really; what with that British accent and over enthusiasm for his work.

“So, I take it, slaying Lothos wasn’t enough for you guys?” Buffy asked slowly.

“Ah, no, the position of the Slayer is a calling,” replied the man. “Sorry, Rupert Giles, member of the Watcher’s Council and Sunnydale High School Librarian.”

“Buffy Summers, Vampire Slayer and high school student,” she replied, holding out a hand. After a quick shake, she looked him in the eye. “Do I really need another watcher? I mean, Uatu is hanging out at my house a lot so I figured one was enough.”

“Uatu? Who, or what perhaps, is that?”

“Oh, he’s the Watcher,” Buffy said as if it explained everything. Her Maine accent was pretty thick. She said it as “watchah” and tended to add an R to words ending in A’s. Buffy glanced around and leaned in close and whispered conspiratorial. “I think he’s got a thing for my mom.”

“Oh, er,” Giles said intelligently. He reached down behind the counter and pulled up a crossbow. “So when would you like to start your training?”

“I was thinking maybe this week. You should come out to our house. I’m setting up an archery range. I figure I’ll go shoot skeet a little later, you can come along for that.”

“Uh, vampires are not stopped well with guns,” Giles said, correcting her.

“Oh, they are with my shells,” Buffy said. “So do you have a copy of a history book I could borrow?”

“Ah, yes, there are still a few back here,” Giles said, pointing to his office. He ran back to get a copy and handed it to her over the counter. “I must admit, you are not exactly what I was expecting when they told me to come to California.”

“Hey! I’m a Maine girl at heart,” she protested before walking out the doors.

From deep the stacks, Alexander Harris, better known as Xander glanced out as the two crazy people, librarian and transfer student, went back to their business. He wasn’t quite sure what he had heard, but it sure wasn’t normal. And what librarians kept loaded crossbows under the desks?

“I’m telling you Jesse, she’s weird,” Xander said in the Bronze that night. “Jesse, stop staring at Cordy and listen to me.”

“I am listening. I’m also watching Cordy dance,” Jesse said, staunchly not looking at Xander. “Of course the new girl’s gonna be different, she’s from all the way across the country. She’s from a state that’s almost surrounded by Canada, of course she’s gonna be weird.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about,” Xander said. He pointed to the balcony. “She’s hanging out with the school librarian upstairs.”

“Maybe she’s got a thing for older guys?”

“That’s just gross and you know it,” Willow put in. “I think she’s really nice. She even stood up to Cordy for me.”

“Well, she’s got spine, I’ll give you that,” Jesse said, his eyes only drifting back to his friends when Cordy vanished from his sight. “And besides, Xander’s got a crush on her. Why else would he be talking this much about her?”

“Oh, come on! I don’t even know her!”

“Look at this,” Giles said, “It’s the perfect feeding ground.”

“Yep. Pool table, corner pocket,” Buffy said. At his confused look she pointed. “Pleather coat and mullet. Looks good on MacGyver in the 80s, not on anyone else at any other time. And no one wears pleather anymore. I bet he got bit about 13-17 years ago. That’s very Thriller.”

“Are you sure? Fashion sense is hardly a proper method of vampire identification,” Giles chided.

“Yes. I’ve got plenty of experience in these things. And besides,” Buffy said with a shrug, “we don’t respect mullets in Maine either. He’s headed to the door with the blonde. I’d better go stop him.”

When Buffy exited the building, she nearly ran into Cordy and Company. Luckily no weapons were visible.

“Whoa, Buffy, what’s the hurry?”

“Sorry Cordy,” She leaned out to glance down the alley beyond them. “I just saw a guy who was on a certain list taking a girl out of the club.”

“List?” the blond behind Cordy asked. The brunette leader rolled her eyes.

“The sex offender’s list! Harm, you need to learn these things,” one of the minions said with a huff.

“Yeah, so I’m going to go keep him from doing something she’ll regret,” Buffy said, sprinting beyond them. Once she was out of sight, she could see the vampire already feeding on the woman. Efficient as always, Buffy just stabbed him in the back, piercing the heart, pulling the stake out as soon as possible. She didn’t even go into the banter. “Are you okay?”

The girl slumped forward, blood dripping from her neck. “I guess not.” She dragged the girl back to where Cordy and her friends were staying. “Cordy, call an ambulance. She’s lost a lot of blood.”

Soon enough, girl was on her way to the hospital and the cops were satisfied. Cordelia was impressed. “So you’re a regular heroine.”

“Nah,” Buffy said, waving off the praise. “Just doing what anyone would. I don’t trust strange men taking teens from clubs.”

“That could have been Harm,” said another one. Everyone knew only Harmony was stupid enough to go off with some guy she didn’t know.

“Well, glad you’re safe, move in numbers, don’t go home with strange guys, and day time parties are so much more fun.”

Later that night, Buffy went out vampire hunting. Most Slayers in the past did this with a stake and not much else. Some might have leveled up to a sword or an axe. Buffy chose a shotgun.

Normally this would have been an issue, but Buffy was an avid hunter, having shot her first deer at seven and done so similarly every year since. Tonight, she was after more dangerous game. Three people had shown up at the morgue with suspicious neck wounds. Buffy scoped out the graveyard, put up a bit of netting, buttoned up her red and black flannel shirt and waited for the vamp to rise. When it crawled out of grave, Buffy Summers aimed with perfect precision.


Three shots right at the head and chest. frantically the vampire clawed at its face and chest, trying to get the shot out as smoke billowed from the countless little wounds.

“Ha! Take that you piece of crap,” Buffy said. Pulling a stake from her pants she slammed it in the incapacitated vamp’s chest, sending dust billowing around. She then started moving towards her next target when a cop suddenly appeared. There she was, standing in a graveyard, shotgun in hand.

“What are you doing here?”

“Oh, sorry officer, I was just trying to scare off some animals that were getting too close,” she bluffed. She pulled a shell from her pants. “It’s just rocksalt.” The officer pulled out a knife and opened up the shell. Inside were countless tiny crosses forged out of brass. “Oops, wrong shell.”

He looked at her, looked at the shotgun, and looked at the grave. “Right, just rocksalt. Just be a little more aware of your surroundings next time.”

“Certainly officer,” she said with a grin.

“What is that, a twelve gauge?”

“Yep, pump action, twelve shot mag. She’s a real beauty,” Buffy said, holding up the gun for him to see. “I usually hunt with slugs, but well, different prey need different ammo.”

“I suppose they do, well carry on,” he said, wandering back to his car.

From their hiding place, Willow, Xander and Jesse watched as the new girl waved the cop goodbye. A moment later they noticed they weren’t alone.

“Just a little midnight snack, the Master will approve,” said a sultry voice, slurred slightly from the fangs sprouting from her mouth. The outcast trio were set upon, but still managed to get out a good scream. Buffy was there just in time to see the vamps dragging her schoolmates through the graveyard. Using all of her Slayer speed, Buffy ran towards them, reloading the shotgun as she went. With a full magazine, she ran up to the first vamp, pulled it off of the redhead and pulled the trigger. The vamp began screaming in pain as the cross-shaped shot burned into it’s flesh. Stake and dust. Buffy charged after the next one, repeating the sequence, pull, shotgun and stake. The last one, tugging a boy she didn’t know was further away, already dragging him into a tomb.

Buffy ran, pulling the boy’s arm before he could be dragged inside. Blood was already dripping from his neck. She felt his arm pop out of its socket and the boy screamed. She kicked the vamp in the chest, forcing her to let go.

Where I was going with this? Well, I didn't want to do an exact remake of the series, but I considered doing a few episodes that would really show the difference. And show how Buffy's a girl who knows her guns, likes to hunt and is more liberal than most of the US. And no, those aren't contradictions. Uatu was going to have an unrequited love affair with Joyce. Buffy wouldn't have had an affair with Angel and would have leaned more towards Xander or Jesse in romance, and maybe moved to Oz later on. She wouldn't have the same kind of angst about issues either. Cordy and the Cordettes were going to be turned early on (With Cordy as their leader/Sire) and be a continuing threat.

This was written some time ago, so I don't know about continuing it anymore.

Oh, and I don't own Buffy, Marvel or any other references in this chapter.
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