Birds & The Bees
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or the characters associated with Anita Blake. Buffy the Vampire Slayer is owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and 20th Century Fox. The characters of Anita Blake are owned by Laurel K. Hamilton.
Birds And The Bees
Cordelia shouted out her release before she realized where she was. She was in Buffy’s bedroom with Xander deep within her. For some reason, this didn’t seem like a bad thing. Buffy had a different opinion however.
“What the hell?” She shouted as she realized what was going on. “Cordelia, stop doing that.”
She rocked herself against Xander enjoying the feeling of him within her. She remembered everything about Belle Morte which surprised her. It didn’t really matter to her at the moment.
“Cordelia, maybe we should stop.” Xander suggested to her. “Maybe Giles knows what happened.”
“Why?” She asked. “Are you really gay or something?”
“What?!” Xander asked. “Where did that come from?”
“You’re deep inside of me with me in your arms bare ass naked and you want to see the fucking librarian!” She exclaimed. “Even Buffy thinks that’s a little gay.”
Xander turned to see Buffy nodding her head. “It is a little weird.” She said as she looked on the floor. “Now, where are my panties?”
Cordelia let out a laugh. “It’s your room.” She said. “I’m sure you can find another pair.”
Xander smiled at her. “As sexy as you are especially naked and laughing, you don’t have a heartbeat.” He told her.
Xander grasped Cordelia’s right hand and trailed it up her chest till her hand rested just above her left breast where she should have normally felt her heart beat in her chest.
“Well...shit.” She said. “I’m still like her.”
“That’s why we need to go see Giles.” Xander replied. “Maybe he can fix this.”
Cordelia’s face scrunched up as if in thought. “Still, do we have to do that now?” She asked as she rocked forward yet again squeezing a set of muscles.
Xander moaned from what he felt. Cordelia smiled and continued to rock forward. Buffy stepped behind Cordelia and held her close. She could tell that the May Queen was on the verge of tears.
“It’ll be okay, Cordelia.” Buffy said. “Giles will figure out this out.”
They got dressed quickly with Cordelia wearing the red dress and heels that had been part of her costume as well as Xander being dressed in his soldier fatigues. Xander and Buffy had noticed how hesitant Cordelia was in putting on the dress but it was all she had to wear. They stepped out onto the front porch and noticed Angel on the ground clearly unconscious. Xander kicked him lightly.
“Wakey Wakey Deadboy.” He said.
“Xander.” Buffy said scolding him as she knelt down next to him. She raised his head. “What happened to him?”
Cordelia looked back at the house. “The ward must have been stronger than Belle thought.” She said.
“What ward?” Buffy asked.
Almost sheepishly, Cordelia explained. “Before Belle decided to feed the ardeur
, she set up what was suppose to be a simple anti-intrusion ward. It would keep anyone but humans out of where the ward was set up.”
Groaning, Angel opened his eyes and said. “It wasn’t the ward. It was some freakish magic that hit me three times.”
Xander raised an eyebrow and looked at Cordelia. “Didn’t Belle hit the ‘high note’ a few times?” He asked and he received a nod from Cordelia in response.
Buffy blushed and Angel seemed to be putting the pieces together when he looked at Cordelia. A look of fear washed over him as he stared at her. Buffy saw the fear.
“Angel, what’s wrong?” She asked.
“Buffy, Xander, step away from her.” Angel said getting up to a better fighting position.
“Deadboy, it’s Cordelia.” Xander told the vampire. “Chill.”
“That’s not Cordelia.” Angel said as his game face formed. “That’s a very powerful vampire.”
Cordelia shrugged. “Belle Morte was two thousand years old.” She said. “If I’m just like her, I should be just as powerful.”
“Wait, if you’re just like her.” Xander replied. “Won’t that mean that you have the ardeur
The look on Cordelia’s face told them that the thought hadn’t crossed her mind. She closed her eyes and looked as though she was trying not to cry.
“Dammit! I’m not just a vampire but I’m a fucking vampire slut too!” She shouted.
“Cordelia, it’ll be okay.” Xander told her.
“What if it’s not?” She asked. “I’m going to have a lot of sex so that I don’t suck the life force out of people because of the ardeur
“Let’s just get to Giles.” Buffy said.
They continued down the road and saw Willow running towards them. The red-headed girl was very happy to see them.
“Buffy, Xander, I’m so glad you’re okay.” She said.
“Willow, I’m glad to see you but we need to get to Giles.” Xander replied.
“Why?” Willow asked.
“Cordelia is still a vampire.” Buffy replied.
“Oh.” Willow said.
Giles looked over at Jenny who had just entered the library. She looked like she had gotten dressed in a hurry and something was apparently bothering her.
“What’s wrong, Jenny?” He asked.
“Rupert, you are going to think I’ve gone nuts.” She said.
“We willingly live on the Mouth of Hell.” He replied. “Our sanity is always suspect.”
Jenny arched an eyebrow and looked at Giles. “Who are you and what have you done to Rupert?” She asked. “He doesn’t make jokes.”
“I do too.” He replied. “Just not often.” He began to take a drink of his tea.
“Well, I was home taking a shower when I was hit with the most amazing orgasm I ever had.” She said before she saw Giles spit out his tea. “What?”
“Was it followed two more times?” He asked.
“Yeah and how do you know?” She asked in return.
“Willow encountered the same phenomenon.” He replied.
The library doors swung open and Buffy, Cordelia, Angel, Willow, and Xander walked into the library. Cordelia seemed rather distressed.
“Cordelia, it’s going to be okay.” Buffy said with a tone that seemed she had been repeating it for a while.
“I’m a freaking vampire and for the last time, I can’t drink animal blood like you can you fucking revenant.” Cordelia replied glaring at Angel. “Besides, I don’t have to kill someone to get my fill like some gluttons.”
“Listen girl, I don’t care how powerful you think you are.” Angel snapped at her.
Quicker than anyone realized, Cordelia punched Angel in the vampire’s jaw with an audible snap of bone being heard by everyone. Buffy went to her boyfriend’s side to check on him.
“Why did you hit him?” Willow asked.
“He needed to learn his place and know that I’m not like him.” Cordelia said. “Besides, Belle tasted Xander’s blood and I think he should be able to be a pomme de sang
Quickly translating what Cordelia had said, Giles said. “Xander can be a blood apple. Why’s that?”
Cordelia shrugged. “Well, a pomme de sang
is a person who allows a vampire to feed from them. In Belle’s world, the vampires don’t have to kill like the vampires here in order to feed. A shifter is often used as their blood has more energy in it than a normal human does.”
“But why would that make me an apple?” Xander asked.
“You tasted to Belle like a werehyena.” She replied. “Your blood was rather energized to her and I don’t think you’ll mind helping to satisfy the other hunger I have.”
Xander seemed to be thinking about it and Buffy walked over to him to slap him in the back of the head. He put a hand over the back of his head and glared at her.
“What was that for?” He asked.
“You had to actually think.” Buffy replied. “After what happened, I would have jumped if she offered it to me.”
Everyone looked at Buffy after that remark which made the blonde Slayer blush from the attention.
“What happened, Buffy?” Willow asked.
“Belle, Lady Elizabeth, and Private Harris had sex with each other.” Cordelia told the redhead. “Belle did it to feed the ardeur
and it was fantastic. The things that Elizabeth was doing with her tongue...”
Buffy began to blush deeper and Jenny let out a laugh.
“So, those orgasms I felt were from you Cordelia.” She said with Willow looking over at her.
“You too, Miss Calender.” Willow said.
“What was that wave anyway?” Jenny asked.
“That was Belle when she had an orgasm.” Cordelia answered. “I just wish I hadn’t gone to that shop that you guys went to otherwise I wouldn’t be like this.”
Giles looked over at her. “What shop did you go to?” He asked.
“Some guy named Ethan ran it.” Cordelia replied as she answered him. “Weird British guy.”
Giles dropped his teacup and it shattered as it hit the floor. Anger flared over his face as he walked over to grab his jacket.
“England, what’s wrong?” Jenny asked.
“I know him. Ethan Rayne was once a friend of mine before an incident ended our friendship in our youth.” Giles explained. “The magic involved in what happened this night seems like something he’d do for a sick joke.”
“Well, I’m going to rip his arms off and beat him to death with them.” Cordelia replied. “I can probably do that anyway.”
“But, you have to fix Cordelia.” Xander said. “She’s still a vampire.”
“Unfortunately, Xander, there is nothing I can do.” Giles replied. “The effects of such a spell are normally temporary but with the vampire you dressed as using her power may have caused the transformation to be more permanent.”
“I can’t stay like this.” Cordelia said weakly.
“Just stay here.” Giles ordered them before he left.
Jenny walked over to where Cordelia had sat down. The cheerleader did not appear to be cheerful.
“Cordelia, what can you tell me about the vampire you became?” Jenny asked. “Talking about it might make it easier.”
Hesitantly, Cordelia said. “Her name’s Belle Morte and she was about two thousand years old.”
“Anything else?” Jenny asked.
“I’m going to have to find some place to stay for the day.” Cordelia said. “I think I am a pretty good copy of Belle and the vampires from her universe tend to become dead during the day.”
“Why don’t you stay at my house?” Jenny asked. “I have a futon in the basement that you can use.”
After a moment of thought, Cordelia nodded. “Thank you.” She said before turning to Xander. “Xander, can you be there when I wake?”
“Why?” He asked.
“I might be hungry.” Cordelia replied with a grin. “I’d rather have you there than find some random guy.”
“Are you sure about this, Cordelia?” Xander asked receiving a smack in the head. “Okay, I get the picture.”
Giles threw open the door to the costume shop and Ethan walked out from the back. Ethan smiled to his old friend.
“So Ripper, how did you like my work?” He asked.
“Do you have any idea what you have do, Ethan?” Giles asked him.
“I didn’t expect my little joke to be that painful, I’ll admit, but it was fun.” Ethan replied.
“A teenage girl who came to your shop became a vampire because of your damned spell.” The Watcher said. “It was that vampire’s power that caused that pain you felt.”
Ethan grimaced before he smiled again. “I presume you felt it too.” He replied. “Well, I should be going.”
Before Ethan could turn around, Giles punched him in the jaw.
Jenny drove Cordelia to her home and looked over at the girl who seemed deep in thought. The new vampire had the same expression on her face since they had left the school library.
“So, do I need to invite you in like other vampires or not?” Jenny asked.
“You do and to revoke the invitation; you just have to say so.” Cordelia replied. “Little bit simpler than however you do it for normal vampires.”
“That’s good to know.” Jenny said as she shut off her car. “We’d better get inside.”
They got out of the car and walked to the front door of the house to find the door already opened. Cautiously, she invited Cordelia into the house and walked into the living room to find a redheaded woman in a dark colored business suit holding a leather briefcase that rested on her lap.
“Who are you?” Jenny asked.
“My name is Lilah Morgan.” The woman said. “I work for Wolfram & Hart.”
“Why is a lawyer indulging in a little B & E?” Cordelia asked.
“Well...” A Few Hours Ago...
“Damn, I hate these emergency meetings.” Lilah said as she sat down at the conference table.
Gavin Park rolled his eyes. “I know what you mean.” He said. “Didn’t someone get their contract terminated at the last meeting?”
Lilah nodded at him as Lindsey McDonald sat down next to her. Holland Manners came in with a strange look on his face. He sat down and everyone quit speaking to each other.
“You may be curious why I have called this meeting.” He said. “According to our seers, a new breed of vampire will be born in Sunnydale.”
“Does it have anything to do with the Hellmouth?” Gavin asked.
“No, a chaos spell created her.” Holland replied. “This gives us a limited window to endear ourselves to her. Does anyone have any suggestions?”
Lindsey leaned forward a bit. “Sir, I suggest we terminate Russell Winters and use the loophole we wrote in his contract to ‘will’ her his assets.” He said. “Winters is becoming a liability and I believe his termination will occur eventually. This way, we will still stand a chance to profit from it.”
“I agree.” Holland said. “See to it.”
“Sir, who is going to be sent out to meet the vampire?” Lilah asked.
Almost amused, Holland said. “Believe it or not, you are.”
“Wait, are you sure?” Lilah asked.
“Winters is my client, sir.” Lindsey said. “Shouldn’t I be getting this new vampire?”
“According to our seers, Lilah is the only one who will not get killed by her.” Holland said reading something from a manilla folder he had brought in with him. “Gavin would have had his throat literally ripped out. Lindsey, you would have had your own genitals removed and shoved down your throat.”
Lindsey grimaced and tried to smile at Lilah. “So, why won’t Lilah get killed?” He asked.
Holland smirked. “Does it matter?” He asked. Present
“So, you slayed a scumbag billionaire vampire to give me his money so that I might be amendable to your firm?” Cordelia asked.
Lilah nodded. “Precisely.” She said. “There are a few papers that need to be signed which do not have any clauses in them. Wolfram & Hart would ask that you allow any vampires you may sire to make their own decisions regarding their own lives in relation to our firm but that isn’t required.”
“Basically, I get the cash and I let those I may sire do what they want if they want anything to do with you.” Cordelia replied. “I get it. Where do I sign?”
“Cordelia, are you sure?” Jenny asked. “Wolfram & Hart has a rather dark reputation.”
“Unfortunately, I have to use them as one would use a gun. A dangerous tool that can be easily turned against me.” Cordelia replied. “I can not depend on my parent’s money as it isn’t mine. This money is mine and I’m betting that Lilah would be willing to arrange things I might need her help with like real estate.”
“I could do that.” Jenny said.
“You’re right.” Cordelia replied. “But I might need her help as well. Her firm specializes in these kinds of things and if I want to do what I want; I need it to be ‘legal’. She can do that.”
Lilah smiled. “You’re right, I can.” She said. “What I can do will actually stand up in court if need be.”
“Well, there are a few things you can do.” Cordelia replied with a smile.
Xander walked Willow home as he noticed his friend seemed to be distracted by something. It was obvious ever since they had left the library. It wasn’t everyday that someone you know was turned into a vampire from another universe who had really strange powers.
“Is something wrong?” He asked.
“Did anything happen tonight?” Willow asked. “Between you, Buffy, and Cordelia, I mean.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Xander replied.
“I saw the way the three of you were looking at each other.” Willow said. “Tell me what happened.”
He tried to look away as Willow was now glaring at him with what he affectionately called her ‘Resolve Face’. He never could argue with her when she was looking at him with that glare and she knew it.
“We had sex.” He said with a sigh. “First, it was me and Buffy. Then, Buffy and Cordelia. Last, me and Cordelia.”
Willow looked down at the ground. “Oh.” She replied.
“Well, it was more Private Harris, Lady Elizabeth, and Belle Morte.” Xander said.
The redhead smiled weakly. “At least you don’t have to worry about any more praying mantis demons.” She replied.
“Not funny, Willow.” Xander said with a laugh. “Not funny.”
It was a few minutes later that Willow asked a question that surprised the hell out of him.
“How was it?” She asked.
“How was what?” Xander asked her.
“The sex.” Willow replied. “If just feeling what I think was the ardeur
from the library was great, then actually being there must have been mind blowing.”
Xander turned to his friend. “Willow, I really don’t know anything about the ardeur
that you don’t already know and it kind of scares me.” He said. “To tell you the truth, I think it scares Cordelia a bit also.”
“Really?” Willow asked.
“Cordelia always likes to be in control and this ardeur
is something that took that control away from her.” Xander said.
“That’s rather deep.” Willow replied.
“I’m rather surprised that you are concerned.” Xander said. “Aren’t you the president of the ‘We-Hate-Cordelia’ Club?”
“Hey, I know you’re the treasurer and that it is against the laws of God and Man but you didn’t experience multiple orgasms in front of Giles.” Willow replied.
Xander let himself laugh as he saw the blush that filled his friend’s face was dark enough he was worried she might faint. This was something that he knew that his best friend wasn’t comfortable talking about.
“I know you think it’s weird but I feel sorry for her.” Xander said.
“You feel sorry for Cordelia?” Willow asked questioningly. “I thought you hate vampires.”
“I do but Cordelia never even died and became a vampire.” Xander replied. “She never got bit, never had her blood sucked, never had to drink another vampire’s blood, and never crawled out of a grave. One spell cast and she’s a vampire. It isn’t fair.”
After the lawyer left, Jenny escorted Cordelia down to her basement where the futon resided. The futon was easily made into a bed and Cordelia sat down on it.
“Thank you again.” Cordelia said.
“Is something wrong?” Jenny asked.
“I think the only one that fed tonight was Belle Morte.” Cordelia replied.
“Oh.” Jenny said. “So, do you need blood or...?”
“Well, those of Belle Morte’s line can feed through either blood or sex.” Cordelia explained. “It helped them keep a low profile so that vampire bite victims didn’t show up.”
“That would be a useful power, I guess.” Jenny said sitting down next to her.
Cordelia shook her head. “You don’t need to do this, Miss Calender.” She said. “I think I can hold off until tomorrow night.”
“Jenny, after collapsing in my shower three times from my orgasms tonight, I think you can call me Jenny.” Jenny said. “Besides, you need to feed and I would prefer having sex than giving you blood.”
The computer teacher kissed Cordelia who began to return the kiss with greater force. Cordelia’s tongue begged for entrance which was quickly granted. It took a great force of will on Cordelia’s part to break off from the willing teacher.
“You’ve done this before.” Cordelia said.
“Well, it was in college and in my sorority.” Jenny replied. “A couple of beers and everyone thought it would be a good idea to play truth or dare.”
“How well did you do?” Cordelia asked.
“I went to bed with these two Japanese identical twins that were in my house.” Jenny said with a smile. “I think I might have the tape somewhere around here.”
“I’ll have to watch it sometime.” Cordelia replied.
“I could arrange a private screening.” Jenny said giving her another kiss.
“We need to take off our clothes before we continue.” Cordelia said.
“Why?” Jenny asked.
“If I open the ardeur
now, we’ll end up ripping our clothes off.” Cordelia replied. “I don’t exactly have anything here I can wear.”
“We can’t have that.” Jenny said as she took off her blouse.
Cordelia gazed at Jenny’s breasts. While they were smaller than hers, they were still quite lovely. It did amuse her that she hadn’t been wearing a bra. Jenny noticed the smirk on Cordelia’s face.
“I got dressed in a hurry.” Jenny said. “I was too concerned that I might collapse again.”
“We can’t have that.” Cordelia replied as she reached over to caress Jenny’s right breast. “You’re so warm.”
Jenny leaned into the touch. “You have no idea.” She said.
Author’s End Notes: Well, that’s long enough for this chapter. I hope you like it and leave a review please.