I had been bobbing and weaving for about an hour now as Vic was blowing various chunks of his country to dust trying to squash me. Good thing I don't tire easily. Doctor Steve says I'm linked to some kind of mystical D-Cell that keeps me powered up and fighting, all I know is that I have the energy to dance or avoid megalomaniacal dictators all night long.
Doom had a lot of bots chasing me, but as all I was really doing was dodging they really didn't have much of a chance of actually hitting me. The longer a fight goes on, the better I get on predicting where a shot is going to come from, and with my reaction time I can even dodge most energy weapons especially when they're computer aimed.
The only things that were really dangerous were the explosions. Vic apparently really likes things that go boom and seemed to have fitted every third bot I fought with missiles, grenades, a self-destruct mode, or all three. These weapons were not only dangerous to me, but also every other bot near me though, so I called it a draw.
Vic's robotic alter-ego was hovering overhead alternately screaming for my blood and denouncing me as not worth his time. It was a perfect time for my phone to ring again.
"This is Hobie, I'm clear and on the way out."
"Great! I'll say goodbye to my new friends and catch up with you. 'Kay?"
"Uhm, okay? You sure you're gonna be alright?"
"I'll be fine! You just get home to your wife. I'll talk to you later...promise!"
"Okay then, see you Enigma!"
"Bub-bye!" I hung up and slid between the legs of a walking anti-aircraft gun. The homing missile I had been evading during the phone call smashed into it instead of me ripping its gun pod apart in a cloud of metally chunkage.
"Hello!" I could have let it go to voice mail, but it was ID blocked so it was probably Vic.
"You annoying Neanderthal!"
"Well that's new at least. Is that your word of the day to build vocabulary and impress the ladies?"
"Your name is Enigma and you first appeared in New York a year ago."
"Okay, what's my age, weight, and real hair color?"
"Your family will suffer for your insolence!"
"Like I said, if you can find them, please tell me," there was a beep on the line, "Whoops! Could you hang on a sec? I have another call coming in. I pressed the flash button and heard my girlfriend's excited voice.
"Heads up Sweetie, gamma and cosmic powered backup incoming!"
"Thanks Babe!" I looked up and saw a large orange blocky shape and a large green curvy shape plummeting towards the ground. I clicked back to Vic, "I'm sorry, but I gotta go. Some friends came by to give me a lift home." I leapt as high as I could straight up.
"What?" was Doom's last comment at the moment Jen and Ben slammed into the ground. Any bot without tracks or four or more legs was suddenly knocked flying by the pair of massive shockwaves.
"WAAAA-HOOOO It's Clobberin' Time!!! Ya leave enough fer us E?" he tore an assault bot in half.
"I hope so Ben. I'm pretty sure Vic will send you some more though if you wait for him to catch up."
Jen was smashing bots alongside Ben and grinned at me, "Reed let us use the sub-orbital rocket. We figured if we freefell in, Doom wouldn't pick us up so quickly."
"Remind me to give him a big hug when we get back!"
"Whut about me? Don't I get a hug fer comin' all this way?" Ben was headbutting a tank.
"Of course you do silly, but can it wait until there are fewer things trying to do the tear limb from limbage?"
"Sure thing. Let's say we wrap this up and go home."
"Sure. Hey Babe, can I get a lift?"
"Of course," Jen scooped me up in one arm crouched and leapt away. Ben leapt after us and in thousand foot bound we sped away from the fight.
The trip was bumpy and really fast. I just hung on as tightly as possible while Ben and Jen dodged the airstrikes coming in at us. Occasionally a missile or laser would hit one or the other of them, but they were so tough they didn't even notice the impact really. They just rolled with the blast and kept going. Finally the border was in sight.
On the other side was the Sheldon jet I had arrived in with a bunch of troops standing next to it. They were prepping to fire at anything that came over the border besides us. Vic must have seen them too because the shots that were coming at us slowed and finally stopped.
"Guess he doesn't want to start another international incident. He'll lodge a complaint against Nick at the UN as usual," Jen said this as we were coming in for a landing next to the jet.
"Do you know if they'll stop in Paris for us? We're taking Hobie and his wife out to dinner and I need a new dress."
"Hobie? Who's Hobie?"a/n
Of course there will be more Enigma...