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Anything For A P.B. Sandwich

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This story is No. 22 in the series "Life (And Unlife) In Sunnydale". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: At last, an explanation for why the Mayor allowed Ethan Rayne to set up shop in his town. (Mind you, I didn’t say it was a reasonable explanation. Just that there’s one.)

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Comics > Comic Strips(Current Donor)ManchesterFR131572031,6461 Mar 111 Mar 11Yes
Disclaimer: I own nothing. To prevent spoilers, a further disclaimer is at the bottom of this story.

Calling over his shoulder to the limp body of the clerical intern lying inside the sacrificial circle in the middle of his office at City Hall, Richard Wilkins III was in a very cheerful mood as he finished washing the blood off both his hands and the recently used ceremonial dagger, “Young man, you did a very fine job, dutifully carrying out my orders without speaking a single word about it to anyone else. It’s a real pity that you couldn’t continue to work here, but, alas, I would rather my constituents never learned about this. Just know that in your next life, you have my deepest thanks.”

Thoroughly drying his hands, the Mayor then walked over to the office table, where he beamed down at the bundle of clothing and other items placed there that was the Halloween costume anonymously brought by a now-deceased office trainee from a certain Chaos mage that would be permitted to work his reality-altering spell several hours from now. All without Mr. Rayne’s knowledge, of course. The century-old sorcerer in his office then allowed a mildly indignant snort to escape from himself at that moment. Really, did anyone truly expect that such an incredible casting of Chaos magic to come about without him learning beforehand concerning this? Tut, tut.

The only reason that the Mayor was allowing such a disruption to the Halloween festivities tonight in his fair town of Sunnydale was simply to fulfill one of his most cherished fantasies. Something that, for all his own tremendous power taken from the Hellmouth, Richard Wilkins had never been able to bring about this on his own. Unlike a few hours from now, when at last, he’d finally be what he’d always dreamed about, ever since the Mayor had first seen that character in newsprint, back in 1951.

Hours later, after a particular Janus statuette had just been destroyed:

“AWWWWOhhhh, drat!”

Shuddering slightly, as both his voice and appearance changed back into their usual form, Richard Wilkins III blinked at his reflection in the front window of the shop in Sunnydale’s business district. He was easily able to see this, now that the man was a good three feet taller than he’d been before while busily engrossed in his gleeful mischief of soaping the lower half of the shop window. Sighing, the man glumly regarded himself in his costume of a blond, shaggy wig with a distinctive cowlick and a blue-striped t-shirt under red coveralls. Dolefully wiggling his toes in his scuffed tennis shoes, Wilkins sternly reminded himself, “Now, mister, you knew it had to eventually end, and you had a perfectly wonderful time tonight, roaming around the neighborhood and getting into all kinds of innocent trouble, just like Dennis the Menace!”

Further Disclaimer: All Buffy the Vampire Slayer characters and Hank Ketcham/Marcus Hamilton/Ron Ferdinand characters are the property of their original owners.

Author’s Note: This little bit of zaniness came from remembering a scene from the episode ‘Bad Girls’:

The Mayor is busy reading the funnies, and ignores him while he finishes reading his favorite strip.

Mayor Wilkins (chuckles and shakes his head): “I, I just love the Family Circus! That P.J., he's getting to be quite a handful.”

I have the lingering suspicion that Mayor Dick enjoyed almost as much the comic strip adventures of a certain precocious but lovable, freckle-faced five-and-a-half-year-old boy….

The End

You have reached the end of "Anything For A P.B. Sandwich". This story is complete.

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