Q & A
As always, I have no claim on either Criminal Minds or BTVS.
Q & A
At the sound of an unknown voice behind them, Morgan whirled, his hand going for his gun, it never made it that far. His movement was stopped with a jolt, and he was amazed to find a five foot nothing blond holding his arm in a very firm grip. First of all, Morgan was amazed that the girl had been there without either Garcia or himself knowing it; the second was the fact that despite her diminutive frame, she seemed to have immobilized his arm with little to no effort. When he looked down into her eyes, he shuddered for a moment, because they were almost inhumanly cold and older well beyond her years. As he was looking, he stopped trying to reach his gun and as his efforts slacked off, so did the pressure on his arm. The tiny woman gave him a wry smile and Morgan backed off completely, realizing that if she had wanted to hurt him, he’d already be hurt. Acknowledging their understanding with a nod of his head the blond released his arm and turned to look back towards where the voice had come from; Morgan looked up, following her gaze.
As they watched, the one-eyed man from earlier stepped into the light. As he stepped into the room, he gave the blond a comforting smile and then turned his attention to the three FBI members in the room. Up close both Garcia and Morgan could really see the differences between the two men. The biggest difference wasn’t the scars, though there were a lot of them, nor was it the missing eye; rather it was the way the new comer carried himself. He had an edge that Kevin simply did not. Considering what the one-eyed man had probably suffered to get that edge, Garcia was just as glad that her boyfriend didn’t have it. “So for his protection as well as your own, that piece of information can never be spoken of.” He looked at Kevin, “we do what we can to minimize the resemblance and move in vastly different circles and hope that no one ever makes the connection.”
“Don’t you have that backwards,” Morgan asked. “We hunt down the worst of the worst, people who kill without hesitation or remorse. I’d figure you’re the one that would be on the losing end if people found out you were brothers.”
Xander just stood there for a second then both he and the blond burst out into hearty laughter. “Mr. Morgan, if the psycho’s you all hunt ever came after me; it would be like a sheep hunting a crocodile. Now, while I acknowledge that the people you go after are pretty sick and dangerous, in the end they are people, with human limitations. What I’m talking about are the kind of things that slaughter your entire family in front of you because they enjoy hearing your screams of anguish, the kind of things that consider eating your liver while you’re still alive to be fine dining;” here he pulled of his eye patch, exposing the cratered scar, “the kind of things that do this because they need a visual for a bad joke. So if word got out that Kevin and I are related, then I’d worry a lot more about him than me.” Both Garcia and Morgan flinched as the ruin of Xander’s eye socket was revealed, but both of them had seen much worse in the course of their work and they weren’t going to take what this guy was dishing up at face value.
“So all the creepy stuff that we were warned about as kids really exists,” Penny asked.
“Yep, except for Leprechauns, total myth there, but everything else is for real;” Buffy chimed in from the wall where she was now leaning.
“Why don’t people know about this,” Morgan asked. “If these things are out there, why don’t more people know about it?”
“Because people repress,” Xander replied. “They’ll see something and convince themselves that it really wasn’t what they saw. So vampires become gang members on PCP, demons become muggers in Halloween masks and magic is just coincidence and weird weather.” Xander sighed, “and even if you did see a demon, would you know it?”
“Sure,” both Garcia and Morgan replied.
Kevin and Buffy both started to grin, knowing what was coming. “Either of you see Star Wars,” Xander asked casually. At receiving two affirmatives, he continued. “In the cantina scene, everything there except for the actors playing Luke, Han, Obi-wan and the bartender were demons of one type or another. Hell, George Lucas himself is a half Squalmous demon, which is how he got all of them to work on his movies.”
“Wait a minute,” Garcia interrupted, “what about Chewie?”
“What about him?”
“You’re telling me that Chewbacca is really a demon?”
“Yep, we call them bigfoots because their real name sounds like a Hungarian choking on a pickle, but he’s a demon all right.”
“So obviously there are good demons and bad demons.”
“Yeah, about half the demons in the world just want to live here and bring up their spawn in peace and quiet; their biology might be a bit exotic, but they tend to be just folks. The other half, well you ran into representatives of the other half already so you know what they’re like. Ultimately, if the demons are peaceful then they’re not our problem, we tend to take a live and let live attitude. But if they get rowdy then we fall on them like the wrath of God.”
“Who is ‘We’,” Morgan asked quickly, “and how did you get involved in all of this?”
“We is the International Slayers and Watchers Council, it used to be called the Watcher’s Council but they got blown up. And as to how I became a part of this, well it all starts with a girl, but that’s a story for another day.”
The shock was wearing off and Morgan’s skills were coming back to him. He’d noticed how the man’s eye had flicked to the blond when he mentioned that it had started with a girl. This told Morgan that the little blond was a lot more important than he had first thought. He started remembering what had happened out on his front lawn and recalled a couple of feats of seemingly superhuman strength and both times it was the girl that had been performing them. “Are you human,” he blurted out, wanting to ask before the stupidity of the question caused him to shut up. He saw her eyes widen almost imperceptibly and knew right then that it hadn’t been a stupid question.
“Yep,” she replied, “one hundred percent human . . . . plus a little.”
“Plus a little, what the heck does that mean,” Garcia asked, getting back into the conversation.
“You want to handle this one Bruce,” Buffy asked with a laugh in her voice. “After all, you’re my pseudowatcher.
“Alright,” Xander replied with a sigh, “but I’m blaming the total lack of accent if they don’t buy it.” He turned to face the three members of the FBI and began. “For as long as there have been demons, there has also been the Slayer. She alone has the power to fight the demons, the vampires and the forces of darkness. My companion here is the Slayer, a human who has been mystically enhanced in order to level the playing field.”
“Mystically enhanced,” Garcia asked doubtfully.
“Yep, magic is real too,” was the unwelcome reply.
“And you knew about this,” she asked suddenly; whirling to face Kevin.
“For over eight years now,” he calmly replied.
“Why didn’t you tell me,” Penelope asked; confusion in her voice. “Why didn’t you let me know what was really out there?”
“Because you would have charged off to find it Penny,” he replied easily; “and unless you’re truly prepared for it, that’s a path to a quick and messy end.”
“I wouldn’t have done that,” Penelope protested, but it sounded weak, even to her.
“Sure you would Baby girl,” Morgan replied with a gentle laugh in his voice. “And I would have been helping you all the way.” He then turned back to the two guests, “so if magic is real, are you two gonna hocus-pocus our heads and make us forget all of this?”
“No,” Xander answered immediately. “Two reasons for that; one, neither of us can use magic. Don’t get me wrong,” he said, holding up his hand to stall further questions; “there are some things anyone can do given the right book and ingredients. Things like wards and summoning and stuff like that. But to do anything beyond that, well you’ve got to have the talent for it, and neither of us do. Number two, playing with memories is a fairly dark practice, so even if we could do it, it would have to be a really dire situation for us to consider it.”
Again, Derek had seen a quick glance between the two when ‘dire situations’ had been mentioned and knew that there was probably a very interesting story behind that glance. These two were holding a lot of secrets and while he was thankful for the save earlier, he still didn’t trust them or buy what they were trying to sell. “I don’t suppose there’s any way to prove anything that you’ve been telling us, is there? Cause I’m just not gonna take your word and a web site at face value. Right now all I've got is a strong girl and stuff that could easily be faked, so either prove what you’ve been telling us or I’ll do my best to try and run the pair of you in for endangering the lives of three Federal Agents.”
Both Xander and Buffy found Derek’s ‘hard-nosed’ attitude a bit amusing; but ultimately, while he could neither capture nor hold them, he could make unneeded waves. Finally Xander sighed and said “Sonny’s”?
Buffy winced at the suggestion but reluctantly agreed that it was probably the best solution. “Fine, but there is no way I’m paying for the therapy they’ll need afterwards.”
“What’s ‘Sonny’s’,” Penelope asked.
“It’s a bar,” Kevin replied, “with a . . . . . unique clientele.”
“You’ve been there,” Derek asked.
“Yeah, it’s quite the experience, but I will warn you of one thing.”
“What’s that,” Penelope asked.
“It’s a karaoke bar, so be prepared to have your ears assailed.”
Morgan and Garcia quickly agreed to check the place out. Morgan balked initially at being asked to leave his guns behind, but fell in line when Buffy handed him a lethal looking little knife with a sheath. He secured it in the small of his back and declared that he was now ready to go. As everyone was heading for the door, Xander suddenly stopped and spoke up. “Put it on, Kevin.”
Kevin sighed in exasperation but reached into a drawer in a stand by the front door and pulled out an elaborate amulet. As soon as it was around his neck, his appearance started to change; his hair became lighter and his face became rounder.
“What is that,” Penelope asked.
“A magic disguise, that way no one we see will be able to tell that Kevin and I are related,” Xander said.
“Neat,” Penelope said as she opened her boyfriend’s shirt and looked at the amulet. She suddenly turned to Xander and asked, “can I get one too?”
“Not right now,” he supplied, “but I’ll see what I can do.”
As the five were headed out the door, Xander was taunting Buffy by dangling the keys to the Council supplied SUV just out of her reach. As the three agents got a bit out of range, Buffy leaned in quickly and asked, “are you sure this is a good idea.”
“Well, it’s not perfect but it is quick and relatively safe.”
“How about I just beat up the guy and bend his gun into a pretzel, then we could call it a night,” Buffy suggested, a pleading look on her face.
“Sorry Buff,” Xander answered, but seeing the look on his friend’s face; continued. “How about we call that a solid plan B, though.”
Somewhat mollified, Buffy nodded and followed the others; hoping that Xander knew what he was doing. Buffy vowed though; that if a certain FBI agent dished up any more attitude, he would suffer the wrath of her petite yet perfectly manicured fist.