If At First You Don’t Succeed…
Summary: **Part of ‘The World(s) According to Faith’ series** Faith and Buffy takes this adage to the extreme. Kind of a sequel to ‘Save a Horse…’
or at least in the same twisted timeline.
Warning: It’s Faith; of course there’s language and innuendo. Oh, and character death.
Timeline: post season 5 ‘The Gift’
. AU in that Faith didn’t go evil, or redeemed herself after she woke up…anyway, she was there for the fight with Glory. They are currently in the HP’verse.
Disclaimer: BtVS characters belong to Joss Whedon / Mutant Enemy. Harry Potter characters belong to JK Rowling. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.
The first time that the Chosen Two encountered Voldemort and his Deatheaters, they managed to break the wands of him and half of his people – as well as a few bones on said people. That was when they learned about wandless magick done by wizards.
So the second time they faced the big bad of the Wizarding World, they used some muggle flashbangs to stun, blind and deafen their opponents until they could be tied up and gagged. Then, in order to keep them from being able to concentrate long enough to cast any wordless/wandless spells, they blasted a shuffled mixture of the theme song for Teletubbies, the Macarena song, and the cherry on top…tone-deaf wizards singing ‘I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, and this is how it goes’
at the top of their lungs, over and over.
Then the fun began for Faith and Buffy – who were wearing noise-canceling earphones.
Voldemort was in a special room that had strobe lights flashing, like the Chosen Two were used to at the Bronze. They were in charge of trying to get rid of him so Harry wouldn’t have to.
First, they tried staking him…that didn’t work.
Faith remembered that a regular stake didn’t work on Kakistos, so she grabbed a beam and shoved it through the Dark Lord’s chest…that didn’t work either.
Buffy suggested a troll hammer; after all, it took out Glory. Unfortunately, that didn’t kill him for long.
Remembering one of her sister-Slayer’s stories, Faith asked about using a rocket launcher. That worked for a couple months, but somehow all the pieces wound up in the ‘torture’ room assigned for Voldemort’s death.
Finally, they thought about using the enjoining spell that defeated Adam. The way they did it that time required Willow, Giles and Xander to serve as focus points for Buffy. The other way they could have done it was combining the two Slayer essences together. The reason they didn’t with Adam was because they knew they needed Faith to fight the demons trapped in the Initiative while Buffy took on Adam.
After Faith made Voldemort’s pieces disappear into separate alternative dimensions, she smirked at Buffy and said, “If at first you don’t succeed, try…try…try…until you send his snakey ass away.”
A/N: If you have any suggestions for quotes, situations, fandom verses you’d like the Chosen Two to encounter, please let me know and I’ll see what I can do. Remember, I’d like Faith
to say the quote/saying.
A/N2: Another fic I had finished but for some reason, hadn’t posted. Weird, huh?