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OC the Vamp

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Summary: I was chatting to someone, and this silly piece of fluff was the result. Not to be taken seriously by, well, anyone.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
BtVS/AtS Non-Crossover > Comedy > Original CharactersMissEFR715800163817 Mar 1117 Mar 11Yes
Disclaimer: Don't own or claim rights to Buffy

~~~~~

My name is O'Celia. Call me Osee for short. So how did I get my name? Well, my dad really loved this song, 'Celia' when he was young, but I think he kind of misheard it or something, 'cause when he wanted to name me, the only thing he could think of was the line from that song, and swore that it was O'Celia. So here I am.

As for what I am, I'm a vampire. That's right, a vampire. With the blood and all that. Gross, really. I mean, why couldn't I need chocolate to live? I could live with that – needing three square meals of chocolate a day? What's the wrong with that? So I kind of mix it up with some milk and ice cream, and pretend it a really strawberry milkshake. I'm good at pretending.

But I'm no ordinary vampire. No, I'm special. Daddy always said I was his special little angel, but now I'm his special little star, 'cause I only come out at night. How sweet is that? And my family have been so supportive with my new status as an undead American. All family events are now held at night, and Mom always has some O-positive stashed in the freezer just in case. I love my family.

Of course, I get all the jar-opening duties, but one does what one must.

So how am I special? Well, I found that out by accident. Like, when I accidentally walked through the doorway of a house I'd never been invited in to. Yeah, apparently that's not something vampires are supposed to do. Weird, huh. I mean, what's supposed to stop us from walking in? Thin air? Please! Maybe it's just because I was raised in a really supportive and loving family, to believe in myself, that I can do whatever I set my mind to do. I believe I can walk into homes, and I can! How cool is that?

I mean, the great and mighty Angel can't do that. Or Spike. (Oh, God, is he hot, or what? Oh, hey. Did you know I can turn him into a kitten? It's so cool! He turns into this cute little white kitten with the sweetest blue eyes. But he's not an albino, 'cause that's just ick. No, he's a proper kitten. When I want him to be, that is. Otherwise he's this really hot (really hot) vampire. God, he's hot! But not in a body temperature kind of way. There he's more room temperature. 'Cause he's a vamp. Duh.

So, anyway, I have this really great family, and I can do things that other vamps can't do, 'cause I'm just gifted, I guess. But it's okay. 'Cause I do good things. Like Angel. Except I don't 'lose my soul' when I, uh, well, you know. That. Well, I don't think I do. 'Cause I haven't done, uh, you know. That. 'Cause I'm a good girl. Vamp. I'm a good vamp, and I don't do that sort of thing. Unlike some vamps I could mention (Drusilla) who can't keep their skirts down for anyone.

Of course, Spike could always tempt me. (He's so hot! God!) You know, teach me all the ways of love and the flesh. I could be tempted, honestly. Just so long as I don't 'lose my soul.' 'Cause that would suck. But other than that, I'm a really good girl.

Who could be tempted.

Osee, signing out. Or whatever.

Ciao!

The End

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