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You're a Whole Hamburger Short of a Happy Meal

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Summary: Dean captures Drusilla on a hunt with Sam no where to be seen. As Dean is going to kill her, Drusilla talks to him about Sam opening the door and two brothers fighting because it's destiny.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Supernatural > Drusilla-CenteredISStruchenFR1519170465120 Mar 1120 Mar 11Yes
Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all things related to it (Drusilla) belong to Joss Whedon. Supernatural and all things related to it (Dean) belong to Eric Kripke

A/N: This ficlet takes place later in Supernatural season 4 between the episodes "It's a Terrible Life" and "The Rapture".

Drusilla groaned as she woke up. The last thing it remembered was attacking a man in an alleyway before he injected something into her neck. She knew it was blood, but, unfortunately for her it was dead man’s blood so it dropped her like a bag of rocks. She looked around and noticed that she was in a house. She tried to stand up but there was something keeping her down. She looked and saw she was tied to a chair with ropes. She struggled again and again, but the ropes weren’t going anywhere. She started to whine when she couldn’t free herself.

“Don’t even try. You won’t get out. You’re not the first vampire I’ve ganked.”

“You’re the man from Hell.”


“You’re Dean Winchester.”

“How do you know that?” asked Dean.

“Mrs. King told me,” Drusilla said. She gasped and said, “I’m going to miss the birthday party.”

Dean scrunched his eyebrows in confusion. He asked, “Who’s Mrs. King?”

“My doll. It’s her birthday today.”


Drusilla looked sadly at Dean and asked, “Will you let me go so I can make the party? Besides this game is no fun.”

“Why would I let you go? You’re a blood-sucking bitch, and when did this become a game. Plus, you’ll just kill me.”

“There would be no fun in killing you. They would just bring you back.”

“Who would bring me back?” asked Dean.

“The angels,” Drusilla replied, “The no fun angel monsters.”

“How do you know about all of this?”

“I can see what’s not happened yet,” replied Drusilla.

Dean rubbed his eyes and stated, “Oh great, a psychic vampire who happens to be nuts.”

Drusilla looked at Dean and told him, “You are chosen. Your destiny has been written. You will defeat the Devil.”


“You’re a sword.”

Dean smiled as he sarcastically said, “Yes, I am a sword, and you are a psycho-bitch and a monster.”

“Your brother’s a bigger monster,” Drusilla said coolly.

“What do you mean?” asked Dean. His sarcasm was replaced by intrigue.

“He’s a blood-sucker like me.”

“Sam’s not a vampire. I think I would have noticed.”

“Vampire? No, no. Sammy’s human, but he drinks demons for breakfast, lunch and dinner.”

Dean scoffed at that and said, “You know, lady, you are a whole friggin’ hamburger short of a happy meal. I’m going to get anything out of you.”

“He’s drinking right now. Why do you think he’s not talking to big brother?”

Dean did wonder why Sam hadn’t been returning his calls. Sam had been gone for a good several hours without any trace. Dean hoped Sam hadn’t gone and did his demon killing mojo. Dean was starting to get unnerved by the crazy vampire’s accusation of Sam.

“Where is he then?”

“With the red demon,” Drusilla answered.

“With the red de…Ruby,” Dean realized.

“What’s he doing?”

“Preparing himself to open the door.”

“Open the door?”

“And to kill the first.”

“The first what?”

“Sammy’s going to kill the first demon!” Drusilla sang.

“Well if he’s going to wack the first demon, why not?”

Drusilla got a vision of the future. It made her head hurt as she saw what was coming. Even for a soulless monster like her, it was bad. She started to cry, “The future is bad. I see it. I see a fight between brothers.”

“Which brothers?”

“The Sword and the Star will fight. It’s destiny.”

“The end will come.”

“Wow thanks. Like I didn’t know that already,” Dean shot. Dean moved towards another room, “I’m tired of this freak show.”

“They wanted this,” Drusilla said.

“Who wanted the end of the world? Hell? I already knew that,” Dean said as he came back into the room with a machete.

“Not Hell, silly boy.”

Dean moved right in front of Drusilla and asked, “Then who?”

“Heaven,” Drusilla smiled, “Silly Dean, everyone’s lying to you and you don’t even know.”


“They’re all lying to you. Sammy, the angels, the demons, even Castiel.”

“And you too,” Dean said. He walked behind Drusilla, gripping his machete tightly.

“No, I’m not,” Drusilla said, “Now are you going to let me go to the party?”

“No,” Dean said as he raised the machete.

Drusilla started to whimper and cry. She struggled and failed against the ropes holding her in the chair. Dean grabbed Drusilla’s hair to hold her head up. He swung the machete into Drusilla’s neck severing the head. He let Drusilla’s head drop to floor and watched both the head and the body turned to dust.

Dean walked away and put the machete down on a table. He took out his phone and tried to reach Sam again. There was no answer. Dean couldn’t help but think that the crazy vampire had been right all along about his brother. If she was right about that, what else was she right about and why did she call him a sword? What was with the door, the first demon, the Star, and the Sword? Did Heaven actually want all of this and was lying to him? That vampire may have been nuts but she was connected to something. Dean couldn’t figure out what. The one thing he did know, she gave him a hell of a lot more questions than answers.

There was one question Drusilla left Dean that he could not get out of his head. It was about destiny. What was with the whole destiny thing? Where did that come from?

The End

You have reached the end of "You're a Whole Hamburger Short of a Happy Meal". This story is complete.

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