To My Vocal and Highly Pitched Colleague:
As always, I own nothing
Lois, I don't know what sort of twisted, kinky lust you have for that inhumane waste of flying tissue paper, but it seems you've got a loser pining after you in here. Now, I know, you think it's that red-headed snot, but the truth is, he wouldn't know a woman if she landed on him chest first. I deeply suspect that he’s gay.
No, the one you've really got to watch out for is the one over there in the glasses. The quiet one. You've always got to look out for the quiet ones. Knew a boy over in Tajikistan, never said a word! But you could see it in the eyes, he wanted to slit your throat. CO wouldn't believe me, but I knew it, and it was only because I sewed my bag shut that night that I survived...