Bats: Do you really want one on your roof?

No, I'm not dead! Mostly! Just a little stuck. Here's a small something for the in-between.

As always, I own neither Glee nor DC superheroes and especially not Sue Sylvester.


On these so called "superhero" pantywaists that seem to dominate Gotham and Metropolis. You know what Gotham needs? A spine. Something to make it stand on its own two feet, and as everyone knows, bats don't have spines! So why are we wasting our time depending on a pathetic little rat-creature to take down America's finest criminal industry? When we ought to be taking it over? Make it a family business, a guild for the youngsters to occupy their useless time on the streets. Consider, what organization takes better care of its own people? Who else will whack the bullies taunting your children and then teach them how to safely utilize an automatic weapon?

Those freakishly painted tarts? Please! They're too busy dancing around each other to care! And even if Joker does finally kiss Batman, what then? Will they start cracking down on the little man, the honest thug who robs you up-front instead of freezing you by accident?

This future is grim, my friends. I have seen it, and it wears spandex, and not in the visually pleasant manner of an athletic gigolo. We need to take back the streets, make them ours! And maybe bring in a little revenue while we're at it.