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Summary: A smut fic featuring various Scoobies which I wrote in response to a challenge someone posted on another group. Warning! Character death ahead, too!

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
BtVS/AtS Non-Crossover > Romance > Multiple PairingsGreywizardFR2117,7501103,4296 Apr 116 Apr 11Yes

NOTE: This story is rated FR21 which is above your chosen filter level. You can set your preferred maximum rating using the drop-down list in the top right corner of every page.

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Disclaimer: All of the really good characters belong to Mutant Enemy and Crack-Head Joss Whedon, although he doesn’t deserve any of them, considering the way he’s destroyed them over the past couple years. I'm just borrowing all of the characters for a while. There is no intent to profit from this. Only the story is mine.

Category: This was intended to be just a smut fic, to be completely honest, but a plot and storyline snuck in here somehow. Sorry about that. ;-)

Summary: This is a response to most of phnxndr's NC17 movie challenge (XanderZone Message 27470):

{{ In season four when Xander is having all his job-keeping problems, Anya gets the amazing idea of sending a 'tape' they had made into a porn production company... they buy the tape for an amateur style tape and get Xander to come for an 'interview'. Suffice to say Xander makes one/two/whatever amount of movies. Hey, cast him with whoever... obviously no slash.

Anyways, fast forward to the future... whatever season, only Anya must be out of the picture... for whatever reason.

One of the girls sees a movie with him in it. Bonus points if it's Buffy in Season 6 before the Spuffy crap. Whoever you chose, though, decides they want some Xander lovin'... }}

Author’s Notes: Anya is still here, contrary to the challenge’s request, but otherwise I’m trying to fulfill it to the best of my ability. ;-)

Time frame: Alternate Season 6 Buffy-verse, taking place approximately in the middle of the episode "Smashed." Everything happened just as in the Jossverse, up to the point of this story (Tara has left Willow; Amy’s been re-humanized; the Geeks have just robbed the museum and are behaving as the dickheads they truly are; Spike hasn’t yet discovered his chip doesn’t work against Buffy, but he is focused on getting her in bed).

Character Bashing: None. Well, maybe a little with Spike, but I can live with that. ;-)

As usual, { } indicates thoughts.

Author’s Note 1: Many thanks to Bill Haden and Tim Joy for beta-ing this so quickly for me, and Chorlton for suggestions and input. And kudos to Bill for the title, too.

Author's Note 2: This is a story I wrote sometime back, which I just realized I never got around to posting here.


The Magic Box
Late in the evening

Buffy and Xander were seated at the research table, trying to identify the source of the latest weird happenings in town, while Anya was occupied with separating as much money from a customer as she could manage. Something had frozen one of the museum guards inside a block of ice the previous night and stolen various items from the museum after doing so. So far, their searching had resulted in absolutely nothing of any real value.

The phone rang and Buffy got up to answer it. She was still wearing the gauzy white blouse and long black leather skirt she had donned earlier in the day, an outfit totally inappropriate for slaying demons, but which excelled at showcasing her delicate and somewhat ethereal beauty.

"Hello, Magic Box," she announced as she picked up the phone.

"Slayer," a deep gruff voice said.

"Spike?" Buffy asked, frowning as she tried to identify the speaker.

"Meet me at my crypt. Twenty minutes. Come alone," the deep voice instructed her.

"Spike?" Buffy repeated, her frown deepening.

"Bloody hell. Yes, it's me," the Bleached Blond confirmed.

"You're ... calling me on the phone?" The Slayer asked doubtfully.

"Just be there."

"Why? Are you ... helping again?" she asked, catching a glimpse of Xander and Anya trying not to look as though they were listening in on her conversation.

"You say you have a lead on this frost monster thingy?" she announced loudly, wanting to make it sound as though there were a legitimate reason for the call.

"Something like that, yeah," the vampire smirked, and she thought how sad it was that she could tell he was smirking over the phone. "Thought you might be up for a little grunt work."

"What?! No!" She replied, shocked. "No-no grunting!" she whispered.

"I was talking shop, luv," he grinned, "but if you got other ideas... you, me, cozy little tomb with a view... "

Making a face, Buffy hung up, then walked back over to the table.

"So, what did Captain Peroxide want?" Xander asked, looking up from the tome he was currently reading.

"Nothing!" Buffy replied, nervously. "You know, he just, you know, wanted to see if I-I wanted to patrol, for, for the, the monster. But I, I told him that I ... would ... not."

After helping to close the shop for the night, Buffy followed Anya and Xander out, waiting as Anya locked the store and then accompanying them as they walked down the sidewalk.

"I'm telling you, I, I think there's something about this thing," she insisted, referring to their current investigation.

"Well, I don't know, Buff. It seems like we've been through every book we’ve got," Xander replied.

"Yeah, even the ones that weren't so boring you wanted to kill yourself," Anya noted as they headed back to her and Xander’s apartment.

"We have those?" Xander asked, coming to an abrupt halt.

"I'm just saying, all the things that have happened lately? Okay, the, the bank robbery, the jewelry heist..." Buffy continued.

"The exploding lint," Xander added.

"I-is it me," Buffy asked, "or do these things seem really-"


"Well, I was gonna go with unusual, but, yeah," Buffy shrugged.

"Anyone want to throw out another suggestion?" Xander asked rhetorically.

"I don't know. You know, I'll do a quick patrol tonight, and after a good night's sleep, we can solve this tomorrow," Buffy replied.

"Optimism. I remember optimism," Anya said, with might be described as the least bit of cynicism.

"That's because you're like a thousand," Xander pointed out to his fiancé with a lopsided grin.

"Good night, guys," Buffy said as she turned and headed off towards her house.

"Good night, Buffy," Xander and Anya chorused back to her as they headed back to their apartment.


"So, Spike, exactly what is it you think my meeting you will accomplish?" Buffy demanded as she followed him into his crypt.

"Just figured you needed a chance to unwind without having to worry about those wankers watching your every move," the vamp smirked as he led the Slayer down to the lower level of his crypt. "Help you decide exactly what it is you want in your life.

The lower chamber was filled with a surprisingly large amount of furniture and miscellaneous pieces of apparently reclaimed surplus equipment, ranging from several couches and large wooden armoires to a massive refrigerator more suited to a restaurant, interspersed with what seemed to be countless stacks of crates and boxes piled one atop the other and forming an almost labyrinthine warren of passages, the somewhat less than spotless décor resembling nothing so much as a cross between an attic, a U-Store-It-Yourself unit and the bedroom of your typical adolescent male.

"Relax. Sit down and make yourself comfortable," he suggested, gesturing towards a large couch as he opened a bottle of wine and poured it into two tall glasses.

"Took the liberty of picking up a video I thought you might find interesting," he said as he handed Buffy one of the glasses and then slumped down onto the other end of the semi-decrepit sofa she was sitting on.

"And it’s definitely not the kind of video you’d ever watch with either Droopy or those other blithering idiots," he smirked as he picked up the VCR’s remote and turned it on.

"Spike!" Buffy reflexively protested as the tape started and the credits began rolling on the screen. "This is a porn tape!"

"Oh, stop the innocent act and the outraged protests, Slayer," the vampire sneered at the blonde’s objections as he paused the tape to argue with her.

"And don’t even try to tell me you’ve never seen anything like this before, either," he added. "I heard you mentioning something to the little red witch last year about a video you watched with Captain Cornbread.

"Said it ‘inspired him to a truly impressive performance,’ if I recall correctly," he reminded her with a wide grin.

Blushing slightly at that reminder of her comments to Willow, Buffy settled back and gave the smirking vampire a reluctant nod of her head.

"Okay, Spike, so I’ve seen a tape like this before," she admitted. "Why should I sit here and watch this one with you?"

"No special reason, Slayer," Spike said, "other than to let you just kick back and enjoy yourself so you can realize that I’m really the only one who’s been here for you. You knew it when you kissed me the other day. You just have to admit it to yourself and stop wasting time we could be using for better things."

"Admit what? And what kind of things are you talking about, Spike? The things the people in these tapes are doing? Oh, get real! The people in these things get paid for screwing their brains out, Spike. Their behavior and the sound track are about as believable as listening to politicians telling their constituents they’re against increasing their own salaries and that they’re gonna vote against higher taxes," Buffy challenged him.

"Hey, all of the people in this are amateurs, Slayer!" Spike protested vehemently. "There’s not a single one of them is a professional! Why don’t you give ‘em a shot and see what they’ve got to show you, huh? Maybe it’ll remind you of what you’re missing."

Part of Buffy wanted to get up and leave, but another part of her, the part that chafed at all of the restrictions she had been feeling lately, wanted to do exactly what Spike had suggested: sit back and see what was on the tape, see what kinds of things these people were doing, and maybe even do something like that; so that’s just what she did.

"All right then," she grudgingly agreed. "Go ahead. Let it play."

Sitting back and making herself comfortable, she lifted her glass and took a sip of wine as Spike un-paused the video and the credits resumed their slow crawl across the screen.

As it happened, the tape Spike had selected featured the semi-finalists in a competition that an adult film production company had put on, offering cash prizes for ‘the hottest adult performance by an amateur couple or triple’ and consisted of five segments showcasing the talents of the couples or trios who had submitted tapes.

The first two parts showed good-looking couples, each of whom displayed both enthusiasm and imagination, and Buffy readily admitted that watching them was quite – stimulating; although she still didn’t believe she’d be inclined to sate her now-revived appetites with Spike.

At least not without drinking a good deal more wine and being a lot more emotionally motivated, she noted privately to herself.

It was her recognition of the three people involved in the third segment that caused her to almost drop her wineglass in shock, however.

Her astonished "Xander?! Faith!?! Anya?!" echoed through the basement chamber at the same time as Spike’s outraged and disbelieving "Droopy? What the soddin’ hell?!", as the bleached vampire choked on the mouthful of blood mixed with wine he had been in the process of swallowing and sprayed it across the room as the next section of the video opened.

"That’s impossible! It can’t be!" she heard the undead Englishman insist even as the three participants were introducing themselves as Alex, Anya and Faith and informing the audience that they were co-workers who had decided to take advantage of the film company’s contest to have fun and possibly win the prize money

The blonde Slayer’s somewhat feeble, reflexive insistence to herself that the people on the TV screen merely bore an amazing resemblance to people she knew went down in flames as the brunette woman on the screen stripped off her bicycle shorts, revealing that she wasn’t wearing any panties and Buffy instantly recognized a tattoo that subsequently became visible as identical to one the dark-haired Slayer possessed.

Seeing the ornately scripted "All you can eat!" tattooed just above brunette’s shaven vagina made the blonde remember, all too vividly, the first time she had seen the tattoo. She and Faith had stopped at the high school post-patrol after dealing with a group of slime demons, both of them wanting to shower off the foul-smelling and rapidly decaying goop that was all that remained of the demons as quickly as possible, and had opted to use the school gym facilities to clean themselves rather than waiting till they got back to their respective homes to do so. Her question about the tattoo’s wording, which she hadn’t been able to read clearly, had caused her Slayer sibling to smirk sexily and ask, "What’s up, B? You hungry?", and made her turn away in mixed embarrassment and confusion, since she hadn’t been completely certain that she wasn’t possibly interested in taking the brunette up on her offer, given the extreme hormonal rush she usually felt after patrol.

Recognizing that the brunette couldn’t possibly be anyone other than the formerly renegade Chosen One made the blonde look more closely at the other two people also on-screen and her eyes widened as she recognized a long, narrow scar crossing the guy’s chest as one that Xander had acquired three years previously when he had tackled a Chaos demon from behind to save an unconscious and helpless Wesley Wyndam-Pryce from otherwise-certain death and dismemberment.

As Alex disappeared off-screen saying something about letting the viewers more fully appreciate his two costars, the camera’s viewpoint shifted, elevating and zooming in closer on the two now naked women occupying the huge, king-sized bed and Buffy rather self-consciously reminded herself to begin breathing again as she watched Faith and Anya share a torrid kiss that must have raised the temperature around the two of them by ten degrees.

Ogling the brunette’s swollen nipples that stuck out from her full boobs like pencil erasers made the petite blonde’s mouth go dry and she took a quick gulp of her wine, her eyes never wavering from the TV screen as Faith ran her mouth down along Anya’s neck and her breast to fasten her lips around each tumid scarlet nipple, making the honey-blonde purr with approval.

Buffy watched with lust-inducing fascination as her two fellow Scooby Gang members almost immediately shifted into a sixty-nine position so as to allow them to simultaneously eat each other out, and she could feel her panties swiftly dampening as she grew wetter with each passing moment of viewing. The occasional close-up showing the enthusiasm and obvious expertise each girl was demonstrating as they licked each other’s shaven cunt only served to make her hornier as she imagined exactly what those hot, teasing lips and probing tongues might feel like exploring her own body and she found herself unconsciously clamping her thighs together with frustrated craving.

Buffy was somewhat surprised to see that it was her one-time nemesis, the dark-haired Slayer, who first cried out and began shaking uncontrollably as Anya successfully brought her to orgasm; for some unspecified reason, possibly because of her constantly sexually charged attitude, she had expected the Bostonian to be the more experienced of the two at eating pussy and bringing a woman off.

Hearing ‘Alex’ announcing that the first part of the tape was finished, and that now they were going to get to the part he enjoyed best, Buffy found herself musing that she was sure he would enjoy it, sandwiched between two such luscious bodies.

After the camera was once more returned to its original position, Alex reappeared onscreen and he began divesting himself of his clothes, and Buffy’s eyes bulged with wonder and an unconscious "Oh my goodness!" slipped out as they automatically slid down along the brunet’s body and she caught sight of his rapidly hardening cock.

Hearing her fellow viewer mutter "Bloody hell! That’s bleedin’ unnatural!" confirmed to her that she wasn’t imagining things as she kept her eyes locked on his growing erection, a process undoubtedly hastened by the familiar and affectionate attention being given him by both Faith and Anya, as each made suggestions as to what they could do with it to themselves and each other.

‘"Hey!" Buffy exclaimed in protest as the TV abruptly shut off, interrupting her fascinated perusal of the on-screen trio’s actions.

"What’d you do that for?" she asked in a combination of aggravation and annoyance at having her viewing disrupted.

"Because I’m not watching something as unnatural as that in my home!" Spike replied vehemently, staring at her in narrow-eyed displeasure

"What do you mean, ‘something as unnatural as that’?" Buffy demanded, her lips beginning to curve upwards at the corners as a suspicion of the vampire’s real reason for stopping the video occurred to her.

"That!" Spike yelled, gesturing at the now-blank television screen. "That tape we were just watching had to be demonic in origin! Something like that had to be!

"It’s clearly unnatural and I didn’t want to expose either of our minds to a possible source of soul-destroying corruption. It was for our own good, Slayer," he went on, as the blonde’s mouth continued curving upwards as she listened to the vampire’s clearly ridiculous and self-serving explanation.

"It’s because he’s huge, isn’t it?" she asked, a small snicker escaped her lips. "You’re intimidated by him, aren’t you?"

"NO! I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about!" he immediately shook his head in denial, even as his eyes widened slightly, revealing the accuracy of her guess to the now-smiling Slayer. "Although I will say, that’s bloody unnatural!"

The spectacle of what she had witnessed so briefly on the video again flared in her memory, focusing and solidifying her up-to-now somewhat nebulous resolve as to what she wanted from life and what she was willing to do to obtain it, and she smiled to herself as some of the confusion that had been clouding her thoughts seemed to dissipate into vapor.

"Thanks, Spike," she said as she got to her feet and leaned over to kiss him lightly on the forehead. "You’re right. This has helped me decide exactly what it is I want in my life."

She smiled at him as she began making her way to the stairs leading to the crypt above.

"I really do appreciate everything you’ve done for me, Spike," she told him. "But you and I would never work out right. Angel showed me that, and I don’t want to make the same mistakes twice.

"I’ve got too much darkness in my life already. I can be your friend, but that’s all I can ever be. I hope that’ll be enough," she informed him with what could best be described as a bittersweet smile as she started up the stairs.

"Now hold on a minute, Slayer," Spike protested as he got to his feet and moved to grab hold of Buffy. "You can’t just walk out and not even give us a try!"

"Actually, I can, Spike," Buffy demurred. "You and I are something that’s just not gonna happen."

As the Bleached Bad moved forward to grab hold of the departing blonde, his foot caught on the handle of the bucket stuck near the end of the couch that was filled with ice and the half-empty wine bottle, causing him to trip and stagger off to one side. As he swayed off-balance, Spike swung his arms out to regain his equilibrium but succeeded only in knocking over a stack of boxes piled by the steps as he grabbed hold of the stairway railing. Yanking sharply on the banister in an attempt to right himself, Spike merely succeed in fracturing the rotted wooden handrail into several pieces as he continued his fall to the crypt floor.

Buffy stood frozen on the stairway, spellbound with disbelieving amazement, as events proceeded to unfold in a Three Stooges-like manner around her, several of the falling boxes crashing onto the stack next to them and initiating a slow-motion, domino-like chain-reaction that threatened to topple everything in the room to the floor.

As Spike fell, he glanced off a corner of one of the many crates filling the room before crashing headfirst onto the concrete slab forming the base of the underground chamber. With a loud, protesting groan resulting from what felt like a fractured rib, thanks to his intercepting the corner of the box, he rolled onto his back to relieve the pressure on his ribs, just as the final column of boxes began collapsing.

Opening his eyes, which he had reflexively shut as he had seen the floor rushing up to greet his face, Spike had only a brief moment to wonder about the identity of the object that appeared to be hurtling towards his head, before the selfsame object impacted between his eyebrows.

An anguished "Bloody Hell!" was just beginning to issue from his lips when a second falling box struck the end of the jagged piece of railing he still reflexively clutched in his hand and drove it into his chest, piercing his heart and dusting him instantly.

Blinking her eyes in disbelieving astonishment at the almost farcical, slapstick-like series of happenings that she had just seen take place, Buffy stared down for a moment at the small pile of dust that now formed the final corporeal remains of the former master vampire who had been both bitterest foe and a semi-reformed semi-ally at various times in her life before giving a shrug of bemused acknowledgment of the latest developments in her truly unusual life.

"The Council will never believe this one."

Turning, she then headed upstairs and into a hopefully brighter future.


"Xander! Anya! Let me in!"

Buffy’s supernaturally acute hearing let her hear the faint scuff of approaching feet as she continued to bang on the door to the apartment housing her best friend and his fiancé.

"What’s wrong, Buff? Is there some kind of emergency or something?" Xander demanded as he opened the door to stare at her with mixed concern and the least bit of irritation at the disturbance. His hair was disheveled and he was wearing only a pair of old sweatpants, she noted with interest, and his breathing was somewhat heavy and labored, as though he had working out or exercising. She smirked as she considered exactly what kind of exercise he might have been involved in.

"I need to talk to both of you guys, Xand. It’s really important," she muttered by way of explanation as she slipped past him and into the apartment.

As she rubbed by him, her hyper-acute sense of smell filled her nose with the exhilarating scent of her friend’s musky arousal, further verifying her suspicion that she had interrupted him and Anya while they were deeply involved in ‘personal time’ and while part of her was somewhat embarrassed at having done so, another part of her was quite pleased, since it indicated that she hadn’t arrived too late to participate.

"What seems to be the problem, Buffy?" Anya asked as she joined the two of them while wrapping a thin silk robe around her curvaceous figure, Buffy noted appreciatively.

"I certainly hope that it’s of life-threatening importance, since you interrupted us before we had even achieved our first orgasms," the former vengeance demon stated. "We got a very late start tonight since we did stay at the shop later than we normally do, researching those problems that have been bothering you lately, so I’m hoping your visit won’t take up very much time, because I have a minimum number of climaxes I expect Xander to provide me with each night before I can sleep."

Buffy let a broad grin spread across her face as she heard Xander’s groan at his fiancé’s comment.

"AHN! Remember what I said about not discussing certain topics with other people?" he asked with a long sigh.

"Yes, Xander, I remember that conversation quite clearly," the honey-blonde agreed with a small frown of uncertainty.

"And I was very careful not to mention any of the various positions either of us prefer, the frequency, quantity or quality of our orgasms or name anyone with whom we might have experimented," she noted carefully, eliciting another groan of embarrassment from the red-faced carpenter and a snort of amusement from the Slayer.

"Uh, actually, guys, that’s part of the reason I’m here," Buffy broke in before either of them could say anything more.

"What’s part of the reason you’re here, Buffy?" Xander asked, clearly puzzled by the apparent abrupt shift in subject of their conversation.

"You’re here about our orgasms?" Anya asked, a frown wrinkling her forehead. "Why would you be interested in that? Do you believe that a lust demon is implicated in the problems going on here in town? If there is, they’re behaving in a most unnatural manner, since they’re usually more involved in encouraging frequent random sexual encounters among anyone able to participate in such a manner and they are oftentimes given to promoting orgies," she observed. "And while ice is sometimes fun during foreplay, I can’t see how freezing that guard could be considered erotic…"

Taking a deep breath, which only served to focus her attention on the musky scents coming from both of her fellow Scooby Gang members, Buffy began explaining her presence here at this hour.

"I saw the video you guys made and I decided that I’ve been keeping myself away from normal things way too much since I was bought back so I came by here because I love you guys and I’m hoping that you guys would be willing to let me spend the night with you since you’re both incredibly sexy and hot and I want to make love to you and oh god now I’m starting to sound like a complete and utter idiot aren’t I," she managed to get out in a single breath in a very reasonable facsimile of Willow-babble, and she could feel her cheeks beginning to heat up as she realized after listening to herself speak that she sounded as though she were completely insane.

"Oh man, you’re suffering from the love spell again, aren’t you?" was Xander’s first reaction upon hearing her speak as he looked at her with an expression that melded concern, worry and love for her, she noticed as she looked over at him.

"No, I’m n–" Buffy’s reply to his anxious accusation was interrupted by Anya’s firmly pressing her mouth against the blonde’s, sliding her tongue into her mouth and kissing her passionately as she pulled the smaller girl to her.

"Ahn! What’re you doing? She’s under a spell," Xander said as he tried to pull the two of them apart.

"No, I’m not!"

"No, she’s not! Though she does taste like a good merlot."

The intensity of both responses surprised him with their vehemence, and he took an involuntary step back, watching with a mixed wariness and arousal as the two women stared at him with lust, affection and amusement.

"I believe she’s completely rational, Xander, and I have absolutely no reservations about allowing her to join us in any form of sexual activity," Anya volunteered. "As you yourself have noted numerous times, Buffy is a very beautiful woman, so I don’t see why you would have any reservations about having sex with her. By the way, Buffy, what did you think of our performance on the tape?"

"Why do you think I’m under a spell, Xand?" Buffy demanded as she smiled and snuggled up under Anya’s arm, momentarily ignoring Anya’s question, but feeling much better about things after hearing her comment

"Uh, well, it probably has a lot to do with the fact that you’ve never been interested in me before unless some kind of spell’s been involved. Or you were looking to make Deadboy jealous," he answered her readily enough. "I’ve always been one of the girls as far as you’re concerned.

"In fact, you’re the one who told me that, remember?"

He jogged her memory with that little phrase and Buffy winced slightly as she recalled the circumstances under which those words had passed her lips. Magically induced ‘in vino veritas’ didn’t leave her a lot of room to maneuver.

"Well, there’s no magic involved this time, Xand," she sought to assure him as she reached out and took his hand to pull him closer. "I just finally realized what I’ve been missing in my life and I decided that I wasn’t going to let it get away from me any longer. I love and care about you both and I’m hoping that you feel the same way about me," she confessed with more than a little bit of fear of rejection coloring her voice.

"Of course we do," Anya interjected before Xander could say anything. "It’s obvious that Xander has always loved you, Buffy, and I care about you and Dawn and the others in the group a significant amount, also, even though I haven’t known you nearly as long as he has.

"Although I have to admit that it took me a little while to decide how I felt about Tara, since it took her a much longer time to interact with us sufficiently for me to make a decision about her, though with all the time she spends over here since she broke up with Willow we’ve gotten to know her much better. She’s very nice," she added thoughtfully as she considered the other members of their group.

Both Scoobies smiled at the former demoness’ characteristically blunt admissions and Buffy took the opportunity to pull Xander closer to both her and Anya, wrapping her arms around each of their waists and lying her head against each of their chests.

Deciding to avoid any possible misunderstandings at a later date, she then explained her reasoning for her actions of the night in greater detail.

"I was at Spike’s crypt and he had this amateur porn video he had gotten and I saw you two in it," she said, turning her head up to look each of them in the eye. "And first off, I have to say, Faith? Come on, now, guys!"

"She’s very skilled in numerous aspects of sexual pleasure," Anya immediately pointed out as she looked at the petite blonde. "Especially as regards oral sex. When I mentioned to her that we were doing the tape, she insisted that she be able to take part."

"Well, I’d rather not discuss her right now," Buffy replied, "since I’d much rather talk about us."

"Okay," Xander agreed after a bare moment’s hesitation, telling himself that now was definitely not the time to discuss the dark-haired slayer’s method of making naked apologies. "But we’ll get back to her later. There’s been a lot more going on with her than you’re aware of, Buff."

"All right," Buffy nodded, more concerned with making her feelings about her friends clear and unambiguous to both them and herself. "But that’s for later," she noted.

"Anyway, as I was saying, Spike had gotten the tape because he was trying to get me worked up so he could try to move on me," she explained, noting the look of anger and distaste that crossed the male Scooby's face at hearing her explanation, " but when I saw the two of you on the screen with Faith and saw the way you were treating each other and her, with tenderness and affection even while you were being so totally hot with each other, I realized that by holding myself back and not really getting involved with anyone or anything. I was just isolating myself further and keeping myself away from the most important part of life, the people who I love and care about," she said as she felt tears beginning to fill her eyes.

"And I don’t want to do that anymore," she whispered. "I want to feel the way I used to. Like I was loved and cared for."

"You are," Xander immediately reassured her as he pulled her tightly against him, as Anya murmured her own agreement and pulled her into a comforting embrace.

"So, after seeing the tape, you decided you wanted some Xander-loving, eh, woman?" the tall Scooby joked as he leaned down and kissed Buffy’s head.

"Yes, it’s very addictive," Anya threw in.

She shared a grin with Anya before looking up at Xander. "Well, it was either you or Spike, and I kinda thought you’d prefer I not repeat any mistakes I might have made when I was younger and not nearly as wise," Buffy beamed back up at him. "Although I have to say, not having to breathe might be a big plus when considering some potential undercover actions," she teased him back.

"You have nothing to worry about with regard to that aspect of Xander's sexual capabilities, Buffy," Anya immediately reassured the smaller blonde. "As you will quickly discover for yourself, he possesses an extremely talented tongue and will provide you with multiple orgasms, even before intercourse is begun.

"Speaking of which," she said, as she looked at both of her companions with what could only be described as an extremely lascivious expression, "we are far behind schedule with regard to orgasm production. We need to start working on that immediately, especially since we will have to incorporate a sufficient number of climaxes for you into tonight’s activities, too, Buffy."

It seemed almost magical to Buffy the way she was quickly swept from her feet and carried into the bedroom, her clothes seeming to almost disappear from her body as she was laid down on the bed.

Looking up into two sets of concerned, adoring eyes, she could feel that part of her heart that she had been hiding away since her involuntary return form Heaven beginning to thaw as an almost palpable wave of love seemed to flow over and through her.

Two sets of lips began kissing her face, taking care not to miss a single square inch of skin, each pair of lips spending a long, delightful amount of time pressed against her mouth, each tongue intertwining and battling with her own, before moving down over her throat and slowly beginning to explore the rest of her naked, expectant body.

Her eyes glazed as she let found herself lost in the pleasure and she gasped with surprised delight as she felt her already pebbled nipples attacked, the swollen cones massaged and abraded by wet, expert tongues, then suckled by teasing, knowing lips and mouths that teased her and tortured her so wonderfully that all she could do was groan with pleasure as waves of bliss flooded her diminutive frame.

"So, you like this?" she heard a throaty voice breathe into her ear and she had to force herself to concentrate long enough to moan out a heartfelt "Yes!"

"Well then, you’re going to love what comes next," the voice, which she now dimly recognized as Anya’s, promised her and she wondered for a moment how things could possibly improve before she felt a pair of loving hands tendering pulling her legs apart, followed a moment later by an incredibly talented tongue that began caressing and exploring her pussy.

Her hips involuntarily arched upward as she screamed out her delight, and then Anya’s mouth was muffling her screams, her tongue exploring the depths of her mouth the same way Xander’s tongue was exploring her innermost core, probing and searching and driving her crazy with the mounting bliss he was giving her.

Clever fingers were massaging her tumid nipples even as Xander’s tongue assaulted her throbbing clitoris and then she was cumming, and tidal waves of ecstasy coursed through her body, making her shudder and tremble and cry out just how wonderful she was feeling until her throat was hoarse from her screams and she could barely move her fingers she was so wrung out from the intensity of her climax.

"Oh, wow," she managed to gasp out, once she could finally summon up enough energy to speak, although the words came out at only slightly more than a whisper.

"That was…intense." She decided that was the best word to use.

The only time she could recall ever cumming nearly that hard before was the night she and Riley had almost fucked themselves to death, and she was inclined to attribute at least part of the passion she had felt that night to the psychic buildup that had been accumulating in the building for the better part of twenty years. God knows, Angel had never gotten her off, and the satisfaction she’s gotten with Parker had been more a passing side-effect of his actions rather than any deliberate effort on his part.

"Thank you," she added, realizing that her friends, her lovers, had focused all of their energy on making sure that her first time with them would be truly mind-blowing. "You guys are simply incredible."

"You’re welcome, darling," Anya smiled down at her as she lay down next to the still slightly-trembling blonde. "You know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone come as quickly or as hard as you did. It’s probably because you haven’t had any sex for such a long time," she observed.

"Ahn," Xander said with a warning shake of his head and a reluctant smile as he lay down next to Buffy on her other side and spooned up against her, his hardened cock pressing against her back and buttocks and making her shiver in delicious anticipation of what it would feel like inside her.

"It’s okay, Xand," the tiny blonde laughed as she snaked her arm under the other woman and around her waist to hug her naked body closer to her.

"You’re right, Anya. I haven’t gotten laid in entirely too long," she agreed. "But I think that problem’s over, finally."

"Now isn’t your turn to enjoy yourself?" she suggested as she tentatively ran her fingers along the taller blonde’s stomach and carefully cupped her breast in her hand.

"That’s very considerate of you, Buffy," Anya smiled as she leaned in to kiss her again. "I think everything is going to work out wonderfully for all of us," she noted, giving an approving "Mmm" of pleasure as Buffy’s fingers tweaked her nipple.

Encouraged by the other blonde’s reaction, Buffy leaned down and lightly ran her tongue across her lover’s scarlet nipple, eliciting a small shiver of pleasure from the former demoness.

"That’s very nice," Anya purred, her eyes drooping half-closed as she enjoyed the other woman’s ministrations.

Encouraged by Anya’s reaction, Buffy fastened her lips around the hardened tip of the other woman’s breast and began sucking on it as she simultaneously attacked with her tongue, running the raspy tip around and across the sensitive flesh beneath it. Anya moaned appreciatively and arched her back towards Buffy, offering the petite beauty more of her feverish flesh.

Rolling over so that she now lay atop the larger woman, Buffy began alternating her oral attentions to both of her breasts, feeling deliciously wicked and shameless as Xander watched her making love to his fiancée, content at the moment to merely observe.

She kissed her way down across the honey-blonde’s stomach, pausing for several moments to elicit several giggles and moans from the other woman as she kissed, licked and probed Anya’s navel with her tongue before continuing on her way further south. As she slid between the former demoness’ thighs, to take up position with her face poised above her lover’s shaven pussy, she took a moment to consider what she was doing and where her actions had already taken her.

She felt as though she had accomplished more in the past hour to take back control of her life than she had done in the previous five weeks she’d been back. She’d finally managed to make a decision that she’d apparently been subconsciously avoiding; she’d chosen to reach out and embrace the life that had been out there, waiting for her to figure out whether or not she really wanted it and whether or not she was willing to forgive the people who’d unintentionally stolen her out of the now-dimly remembered heaven that she’d been in and accept this third opportunity she’d been given, or continue to remain passively hostile to the people who loved her and had done everything in their power to try to rescue her from what they believed would be an eternally hellish existence and thereby continue justifying her own bitterness and resentment until she had succeeded in alienating everyone around her, effectively transforming her new life into a living hell of pain, depression and frustrated desires that would never allow her to be happy again.

Yes, she decided, she wanted to be happy again, to feel loved and cherished and appreciated and cared for and treasured by people who loved her and whom she loved back.

With a broad smile of appreciation for just how fortunate she was to have the love and affection of so many wonderful people, she leaned forward and delicately pressed her lips against Anya’s core, sliding her tongue along her cleft and then dipping it between her lips, making the other woman groan with lust.

"Oh, that‘s very good, Buffy," the blonde moaned as she forced her eyes open to look down along her naked body to the diminutive beauty lying between her legs. "I like that. A lot," she added a moment later with her characteristic directness.

More confidently now, Buffy began exploring her lover’s pussy, kissing and licking her way deep inside Anya’s channel, making the taller blonde squirm restlessly with as-yet unsated desire. As she locked her lips around Anya’s clitoris, Buffy slid two fingers up inside her, making the other woman groan even louder than she had before.

Deciding that he had watched long enough, Xander moved behind Buffy and helped maneuver her into a kneeling stance between Anya’s legs that would prove more suitable for what he had in mind, with the enthusiastic Slayer’s tongue never missing a stroke as they did so.

Moving behind her, Xander positioned his by now throbbing cock against Buffy’s pussy and slowly pushed forward, her nether lips slowly parting to accept the massive head. Patiently, he let the blonde’s channel stretch to accommodate him before pushing deeper inside her, and then paused again to let her again adjust to his girth. He kept in mind that it had been the better part of a year since Buffy had actually last been in any type of physical relationship and he wanted to make sure that he wasn’t going too fast for her to adjust to him. Buffy paused for a moment in her attentions to the mouthwatering delight before her face to groan loudly with lust as Xander filled her up completely, and Anya moaned her disapproval at the cessation of her pleasure, arching her hips upward against the Slayer’s face to urge her to resume her efforts.

Finally, after what seemed an interminable period of time but was probably no more than a minute, he was fully encased within her, balls deep and reveling in how hot and tight and wet she felt as her fluttering vaginal muscles firmly grasped his cock. Taking a firm grasp on her hips, he then began withdrawing and Buffy immediately let out a muted "No!", her voice sounding somewhat muffled due to the fact that her tongue was currently buried deep inside Anya’s channel. Ignoring her protest, Xander continued to withdraw for another moment before reversing his motion and sliding back into her until he was again deep inside her. Again, he pulled back and then again thrust back inside her, slowly increasing the tempo of his thrusts and making the tiny blonde moan and wiggle back against him, even as she carried on licking and eating the statuesque blonde lying beneath her.

As Anya had noted, it had indeed been sometime since Buffy had enjoyed sexual relations of any sort, and the petite blonde found herself growing ever more excited as Xander continued to slam into her, bringing her to ever increasing levels of excitement until she felt as though her body was about to actually implode with desire.

Her lips and tongue were sucking on Anya’s pussy reflexively now, as Buffy felt as though she had almost lost the capacity for rational thought, she was so horny and aroused. She was getting closer now, though, she realized with what she could only describe as frenzied relieved anticipation. Although, if her excitement continued increasing at the same rate as it had been doing since Xander had first entered her, she decided, her head was probably going to explode within the next few minutes.

{ But what a way to go, } she smiled to herself, as she focused on the entrancing pussy beneath her face and enthusiastically attacked Anya’s swollen clitoris with her tongue. She smiled smugly to herself as she heard the taller blonde scream triumphantly and begun spasming as a result of the Slayer's lingual expertise.

At the same time, Buffy felt Xander’s hand slide across her hip and his strong fingers begin fondling her clitoris. The sure, expert manner in which he stroked the inflamed nub of flesh ignited her climax and the petite blonde’s voice joined Anya’s as she loudly and jubilantly announced her own orgasm while she, too, began a body-shaking series of convulsions that ultimately left her lying on her lovers’ bed, limp and feeling as though she had barely enough strength left to open her eyes.

She could tell that she must have been moved while she had lain on the bed basking in her post-orgasmic euphoria, since she was now sprawled on her back with a hot sticky feeling inside her that told her she’d brought Xander off with her, enjoying the feeling of a warm body snuggled up against her on either side.

"Hey, Buffy?" she heard Xander saying to her, so she reluctantly and with great effort managed to pry open her eyes and look up and his and Anya’s radiantly smiling faces looking down at her.

"Yeah?" she asked, a smile reflexively coming to her face as she looked back at her two lovers.

"Ready for round two?" they chorused as they both carefully leaned in and pressed a soft loving kiss on her face.

And she smiled even more brightly as she began returning their kisses, as she realized that she finally was exactly what she wanted to be.



The End

You have reached the end of "Dating Don’ts for Vampires". This story is complete.

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