Bigger On The InsideAuthor:
I don’t own them; if I did I wouldn’t be writing fanfiction. Summary:
Sam overhears a rather interesting conversation and can’t help but to add his own opinion.Pairings:
None that I can think of. Sometime in Season 2, though Sam and Quinn never dated and Kurt never left McKinley.Warnings:
None that I can think of.A/N:
Yeah, so…I got Sam’s part at the end of this stuck in my head and just had to write it…
Sam stepped into the choir room and quickly glanced around taking everyone in. Rachel and Finn were sitting on the piano bench making goo-goo eyes at each other while Mr. Shue was looking through a stack of music at the other end of the piano. Quinn, Santana, Brittany, Mercedes, and Tina were sitting nearby talking and giggling, and Puck, Mike, and Artie were doing the same at the far end of the room. Only without the giggling. With Sam’s arrival, Kurt was the only member not there yet.
Passing by the group of girls, Sam paused as he heard his name and instead of continuing to a seat near Puck, Mike, and Artie, he sat down in the nearest chair and sprawled out, legs outstretched and arms crossed over his chest, trying not to make it too obvious that he was eavesdropping.
“…I’m telling you,” Quinn was saying, “Sam totally has the best abs!”
“No way!” Tina argued, shaking her head. “Mike definitely does.”
“Sorry, Tina, but I’m gonna have to agree with Quinn on this one,” Mercedes said. “Mike’s abs are just too
defined. Boy’s ripped, but Sam is all sleek and toned.”
Santana nodded. “It’s hot as hell.”
As Brittany nodded in agreement and Tina sighed in defeat, Sam couldn’t help but grin slightly, though he tried to hide it as best he could; he wasn’t supposed to be listening in, after all.
“Best arms is definitely Puck,” Santana said, lowering her voice to make doubly sure that the boy in question wouldn’t hear her.
All the other girls nodded.
“Not that we’ll ever tell him
that,” Quinn said with a laugh. “He’d never let us hear the end of it.”
“Best ass?” Brittany asked, glancing around at the others.
“That’s a hard one,” Mercedes said after a moment, furtively glancing around the room at the guys.
Tina nodded. “Yeah, it’s not like we can even really get a good look at most of them either because of how their pants fit.”
“You know something I’ve always kind of wondered?” Quinn asked, getting curious looks from the others. “How the hell does Kurt get his ass in those jeans of his? I mean, really, how does he do it?”
The other girls giggled and nodded their agreement.
“He’s magic,” Brittany stated. “It’s probably one of his powers.”
“Baby oil?” Mercedes offered as a possibility.
Santana snickered. “Or lube,” she suggested with a smirk. “And you know that boy probably goes commando, ‘cause I highly doubt he’d be able to fit another layer of fabric in there.”
Quinn nodded. “Besides, he doesn’t have lines, so he’s either going commando or wearing a man-thong,” she said with a giggle.
“Oh, I don’t think I need that mental image!” Mercedes exclaimed, shaking her head as though to erase the memory from her mind like a drawing from an etch-a-sketch. “That’s my best friend and I do need to actually be able to look him in the face.”
“Maybe he sews them on,” Tina suggested, “because I really have no idea how he could be doing it.”
to know how he does it,” Santana stated. “There’s no way I can wear jeans as tight as he does.”
The other girls all nodded in agreement, slightly envious looks on their faces.
“Seriously,” Quinn added, blushing slightly, “how does everything, you know, fit? I mean, that can’t be comfortable…”
By this point Sam was biting his lip to keep from laughing out loud and completely incapable of holding back his grin of amusement as he listened to the girls talk about the mystery of Kurt’s pants. Standing up and stretching for a moment, he casually walked over to where the girls were sitting and leaned in.
“Personally, I’ve always kinda figured he wore TARDIS pants,” he told them, whispering conspiratorially and grinning even wider as all five girls jumped at the sound of his voice.
They all stared at him for a moment, slightly wide-eyed at being caught having such a conversation, before they all started looking confused.
“Wait. What?” Mercedes asked, looking at Sam like maybe she needed to call the nice men in the white coats to come take him away.
“And why were you thinking about Kurt’s pants?” Santana asked, smirking and arching an eyebrow at the blond.
“You know, like the TARDIS,” Sam said with a grin. “Doctor Who. The TARDIS is bigger on the inside.”
“So you think Kurt’s pants are bigger on the inside?” Tina asked skeptically.
Sam merely grinned again, his eyes positively dancing as he winked at Santana. “Trust me, they’d have to be,” he said before he turned and walked over to join Mike, Artie, and Puck, leaving the girls gaping after him as they realized just what he was implying.
A moment later Kurt entered the room only to freeze a few steps in as five of his best friends turned to pin him with shocked and incredulous stares. His eyes went wide and he shifted uncomfortably under their gazes, eyes darting between each of them nervously as he wondered why they were looking at him like that.
*giggles* I got the idea and I just couldn’t resist… Hope you all enjoyed it!