So here was the thing. Having family this insane was apparently nothing to write home about and if it wasn’t for the fact that his brothers insisted on getting to know his mom, freaking Dean
leering a little more than needed every time he stepped through the door- it’d be like nothing had changed.
Except for the fact that Puck now apparently had three older brothers, two of which had no conceivable idea about acceptable lines to cross- what with Dean showing up at his school like an over-curious bear, sidling along with Puck on his break and smirking at blushing Cheerios now and then.
And then there was Sam, who would show up periodically- clutching a book to his chest and looking at Puck with his big puppy dog eyes of doom that he somehow had managed to keep even after his long stint in the jail down under and there was no choice, not really, except to let the big lug follow him around- spouting tales of adventure and woe and daily Winchesterian life while gazing solemnly into the distance.
Somehow though, Puck had managed to get used to them. Dean with his unsubtle hints at building a life in Lima, no matter how crazy it seemed and Sam with his emo lurking on the periphery of Puck’s life and periodically popping up with new and obscure knowledge that Puck would probably never use.
But what’s even worse, is that Puck’s gotten genuinely used to Adam. The guy’s only a year and a half older than Puck, cool as hell- bitchy towards their freaky older siblings and very laid back with Puck, who’s understandably relieved that at least one out of three isn’t insane.
It’s a good thing, having at least one brother break the pattern of insanity running through their genes courtesy of Papa Winchester.
It isn’t every day that you go from being the older brother of one sister to being the youngest brother of four.
And that’s another thing. Sarah. The squirt, barely eight years old, already freaking loves
these guys. Just the other day, Puck caught her making goo-goo eyes at Sam while he braided her hair and they watched Mulan.
It was unfortunate that Dean had chosen that exact moment to follow him into the room, exploding with laughter at the sight of their six four, giant hulk of a brother sitting calmly in Sarah’s pink bedroom and explaining who Mulan was historically
, but it was still a great moment.
So, yeah, Sarah- in an incredibly creepy ‘if they were actually related’ way has chosen to transfer over her crush from one Finn Hudson to Sam Winchester, and Puck’s pretty sure that his little sister’s binders have already been graffitied with a thousand pink hearts proclaiming that SP + SW = forever.
It’s moments like these, sitting in the middle of the dinner table, recently repurchased by his mom and Dawn who takes to shopping like a dolphin to water, with his older brothers, their more or less significant others, that Puck can deal with this. Bantering about Sam’s rapidly growing girly hair with Dean while Adam makes caustic remarks and tries to send some kind of telepathic message to Dawn on the other side of the table, Puck can deal.
Hell, he can even deal with the whole insanity when he finds Faith and Sam gearing out for a patrol and finds out about the whole ‘mystical magical powers of doom’ that his brother has, that after a year in hell- they need to be exercised pretty regularly, lest all that voodoo bullshit builds up in his system and explodes in a geyser of badness and takes out all of Lima in the aftermath.
Unsurprisingly, in Puck’s mind, the exploding geyser of doom sounds a bit like Berry singing one of her Streisand ballads while high off her rocker on caffeine.
It’s okay. It’s fine. Doable.
What’s not doable is seeing Adam, leaning casually against his locker chatting casually with Faith, the both of them actually causing several mid-stride traffic collisions in McKinley’s early morning corridor shuffling.
“Yo,” Puck says a tad forcefully, raising an eyebrow that he finds disconcertingly parroted back to him in perfect precision by an eerily amused Adam, “what are you two doing here?”
The silence stretches for a minute too long and Puck notices several of the football players almost trip over each other as they try and figure out who the really hot older chick is talking to Puckerman. He sneers at them and makes with the crazy eyes, gratified to see Azimio flinch and hurry Karofsky, who wasn’t even looking
down the corridor- Jackson and Rossman following behind them.
“We’re scouting,” Faith finally says with a lean smile, rolling her shoulders back and Puck hears Jacob Ben Israel go into an asthmatic fit worse than when he saw Berry on kneepads.
“What?” Puck grimaces and thinks about maybe finally dunking that little dweeb in a toilet, thoroughly enough for him to never bother anyone ever again.
“It’s for work,” Adam grins at him, bastard knows exactly what’s going through Puck’s head, “for the school.”
Here’s the other thing that’s gotten to him. The Council, from what Puck’s gathered, usually employees a younger generation for its workers. Something about the ‘flexibility needed to deal with our own very special brand of bullshit’, Faith’s words- not his, but yeah- the big ass shady organization with lots of superpowered hot chicks running around usually hires people straight out of school if they show enough drive and talent.
Puck can get behind that.
“Did Figgins approve of this?” he finally asks, resigned to the answer and to the knowledge that he’s going to have two very persistent followers for the rest of the day and from the bored glint in Adam’s eye, he’s going to have trouble enough keeping their mouths shut from any potentially embarrassing mishaps regarding Puck
“Yeah man,” Adam claps him on his back and points to his chest where there’s a conspicuously shiny visitors’ badge clipped there and Puck squints, sure
that he’s never seen one of these, “plus we have to go talk to one of your teachers about some old Council business.”
“Like what?” Puck eyes him and Faith warily, sidestepping a stray hockey player that looks suspiciously like Karofsky, eyes wide and breathing a little heavy as he tries to sidle his way closer to Adam.
“We have a former Potential in the school,” Faith explains as she tilts her head and watches Karofsky unobtrusively check out Adam’s ass and Puck doesn’t look
, doesn’t look because he is a progressive dude and everything but even he has limits and one of them may be David Karofsky’s adamant refusal to even think
about coming out of the closet, “she was on her own before, while we were still setting up with just two slayers for backup- acting as their acting Watcher, but with the new Council school being built right in freaking Lima- we figure we’ll ask her if she wants to join full-time.”
Puck’s just about to ask who this potential and the slayers are, already picturing a revved up Cheerio doing particularly freaktastic things, like backflips naked
when a hand clasps onto his shoulder in a death grip and Puck’s just about to throw it off when he recognizes the see through light pink nailpolish on the hand, and shut up
, he has a sister okay- it’s not weird that he can recognize girls by the color of their nails and says “What do you want Hummel?”
“I hope,” says Hummel in that creepy narrow eyed way he has, staring at Puck intensely like he’s picturing him naked and roasting over an open fire but in an entirely non-sexy way, “that you’re not planning to on skipping glee today. Shue’s handing out next week’s assignments and we’re performing at the pep rally on the seventeenth, Puckerman
, so you better not be thinking about skipping out on practice with people,” and here he gives a very
discouraging look at Faith’s outfit, which as awesome as it may be is entirely too inappropriate for a high school visit, “these hoodlums
“Guy,” Faith stares at him incredulously and shifts in place, as if she can’t decide whether to kick his ass or to laugh out loud, “did you just call me a hoodlum
“Yes,” Kurt sniffs, even while taking a long step away from her, mindful of the glint in Faith’s eye that probably telegraphs a world of pain to him in the very near future, “I did.”
Puck sighs, sure that he’s going to have to like step in and defend Hummel’s dignity of some bull like that, when Faith starts laughing raucously, bent over in two with loud, gasping guffaws of genuine amusement.
“Oh man,” Adam rolls his eyes but grins gamely, stepping forward into the light of Hummel’s personal bubble, “that should have been caught on camera.” He reaches with his hand out and gives Hummel a wink, “I’m Adam.”
The wink, Puck thinks darkly instead of being douchey and sort of pretentious like it should be by all normal laws of nature instead ends up looking alright. Like Adam’s just amused by the world around him.
Puck’s older brother then does that half-smirk that Puck thought only he
was capable of flashing in Lima, that half-smirk that seems to have been passed down from John Winchester if the fact that all his sons can do it so well means anything and---
Puck backtracks and this time, he actually closes his eyes because how is it that Hummel’s now gazing at Adam with something close to adoration in his large Bambi-on crack eyes? “Hi,” he breathes and when he steps forward and clasps Adam’s hand in his, Puck notices his knees knocking together a little bit.
Puck can feel himself being dragged back under a superstrong grip so he goes with it, which is how, contrary to all the laws of man, God and Moses- he ends up going to Glee rehearsal with Faith’s arm around his shoulders and his older brother traipsing merrily behind him while Hummel tries valiantly to convince himself and most of all Adam
that the rules of being a hetero teenage boy can be easily bent and wouldn’t he like to try?
The room, filled with chatter and random bursts of laughter shuts up immediately upon their arrival and everyone stops and stares at them- silent and surprised at two
new faces at once, when Sam’s arrival had almost caused a shockwave at the school.
Brittany probably doesn’t help the situation when she flings herself out of her chair and like judo flips over Rachel and Mike before wrapping her long limbs like an exceptionally blonde octopus around Faith’s bemused frame and exclaiming loudly “You came! I knew