Surprise, surprise! I still don’t own either of them! A/N:
The Doctor comes back to Sunnydale to visit Buffy after Joyce passes. Takes place in the week between Buffy episodes “Forever” and “Intervention” Buffy’s POV.In Mourning
I sat on the roof top, just below my window sill, staring silently at the rainy, cloudy night sky.
It had been raining on and off all week, which wasn’t really normal for Sunnydale. But then again, what about Sunnydale has ever been normal?
I’m not sure how long I had been sitting there, on the wet, dirty roof, when I heard him.
“You’re getting all mucky sitting out here, love.”
“Uh-huh.” I responded, not really listening. Just staring.
“Mind if I join in?”
I shook my head. He crawled out of my bedroom window and sat down next to me.
We sat in a comfortable silence for a good ten minutes before either of us spoke.
“How’s Dawn after the attempted resurrection incident?”
I sighed. “Better, I guess. I think we mostly hugged it out.”
“And how are you?” he asked.
I sighed again. “Honestly?”
“I don’t know. I feel like I’ve just been running on all kinds of empty lately. Everything with Dawn and Glory. Then Riley leaving on top of that. And then…Mom. This is the emptiest part right here. Wait, does that make sense?”
He laughed softly but then quickly regained a serious composure. “It doesn’t have to. You’re in mourning.”
“So aren’t you.”
It was his turn to sigh. “Yes, I guess I am. Although, Rose isn’t technically dead. She’s just in a parallel universe. She can never come back. It would tear the entire universe apart if I even tried.”
“Well, at least she’s still alive. That’s something, right?” I offered.
“I suppose it is. It’s not much more comforting of a thought, but it is definitely something.”
I leaned my head down on his shoulder and sighed.
“I wish I could’ve done something to help her, Buffy. I really do.” he said, after a few minutes.
“Please don’t. Don’t beat yourself up over it.” I pleaded.
“If I had just been paying attention to something…somewhere…I’m sure there were clues.”
“You had your own battles to fight. And they were every bit as important.” I argued.
“You should’ve gotten in touch with me. I could’ve come.”
“And what? Wiped the tumor from her brain with your little sonic doo-hickey?”
“It might have worked…”
“And it might not have. I know how you see all those different scenarios and everything, but you have no way of knowing which one would have happened.”
I sat up and stared at him.
“Doctor, please. I don’t need you belittling yourself over this. I’m already doing that enough for the whole damn town. What I need from you is the exact thing that I think you need from me right now.”
“Comfort.” he smiled.
I laid my head back down on his shoulder. “Exactly.”
He put his arm around my shoulder and we stayed that way for countless silent minutes, until I let out a small giggle.
He looked down at me curiously. “What?”
“I was just thinking about when you took me and mom out after the whole Initiative thing last year.”
“Elvis. Live at Madison Square Garden. June 9, 1972. Personally don’t care for his later stuff myself. I preferred when he was called ‘The Pelvis’ and still had an obvious waistline. However your mum loved it. And that’s what matters.” he smiled.
I smiled. “Rose loved it too.”
His smile turned sad. Well, sadder. “Yeah, she did.”
We were silent, again, for another long few minutes. Just dealing with our own personal pains.
“I’ve been here for a week now. Little bit over that.”
“I know. I’m impressed.”
“I mean, I can stay longer. I want to. I want to help with Dawn. And Glory.”
I smiled, painfully. “We’ll see.”
“No. I’m going to. I’m going to stay. If it ever came down to it, I could take Dawn away and hide her somewhere perhaps while you lot are figuring out Glory.”
I nodded my head. His sentence had confirmed my immediate plan of action.
“Okay then.” was all I said.
He looked down at me curiously. “That’s it? Okay? No arguing?”
I lifted my head up off of his shoulder, stood up and crawled back through my window.
“I think I wanna go take a walk. See what’s lurking out there, waiting for me to pummel it. Care to join?”
“Does every walk you take lead directly to the cemetery?”
I laughed a little empty laugh, knowing what I was about to do.
“It certainly seems that way.”
We walked silently through the cemetery. I let him subconsciously take the lead, hoping it would draw him in before he could figure it out.
I stayed quiet, mostly. I’m not especially great at hiding my emotions and I didn’t want to let anything slip.
“Ahh, there’s my beauty.” the Doctor said, after a few minutes.
The Doctor had told me the last time how his TARDIS worked--for the most part. That once you’ve been in it…well, it kind of becomes a part of you for the rest of your life.
I was really counting on that. I was also really counting on the whole ‘it’s alive’ thing.
He walked up to the front of it and stroked the doors gently.
“Yes?” he said, turning around. The sight of his TARDIS still intact after a week of non-use had caused a small smile to form.
That just pained me even more.
“Um, do you think we could go inside for a minute?” I asked, pointing to the doors. “I mean, just talking about going back with Mom earlier…I thought it would be nice. For the memories.”
“Of course, Buffy. Anything that will help ease the pain.” He dug through his coat pocket and pulled out the key. A moment later, the door was unlocked and partially open.
I rushed up to the Doctor and shoved him inside, pulling the door shut, hoping the TARDIS would understand and lock it up, with the Doctor safely planted inside.
“Buffy?! What…what’s going on? Are you alright?” he shouted from the other side.
I placed my hand upon the door. “Doctor, I’m fine. Just listen to me.”
“Listen. Please, just listen. You’re not staying. I’m not allowing you to stay.”
“What? Yes, I am. You agreed to it!”
“I lied. I’m sorry but I lied. I can’t let you stay.”
“Why not? I can help. Let me help.”
Tears started to fall down.
“I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, especially this week. I really honestly do. And it kills me to do this to you…it really really does. But this…this is not your battle to fight. Glory is the most powerful thing I’ve ever faced and you are far too important to me. If I lost you…I don’t even know what I would do. I was born the Slayer and that’s what I have to be. I’ve been slacking, I’ll admit, but no more. I was born to lead and this is where I have to start being the leader again. For Da-the Key. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Doctor, but you’re not staying. You’re going to leave now and do what you do best---run.”
“Buffy…please. Please don’t do this.” he pleaded.
I laid my head on the door and closed my eyes.
“You’ll see me again, Doctor. Soon enough. I promise."