When in Doubt, Always Trust Teal’c
Summary: SG-1 discovers that sometimes what sounds harmless to one person isn’t necessarily safe.
Warning: I don’t know; maybe language and innuendo somewhere along the way.
Timeline: probably somewhere during season 5.
A/N: A friend and I were talking about how words could have different meanings – especially when it came to describing creatures on all the various worlds.
Thanks to my betas: none this time.
Disclaimer: Stargate characters belong to Robert C. Cooper and Brad Wright / SyFy Channel. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission. ‘Mr. Spaceman’
was sung by The Byrds. Images from google search and pasted together using photobucket.
The three human members of SG-1 stepped out of the gate to find…a planet pretty much like every other planet they’d gone to over the last few years. There were rocks and trees and okay, so there were two suns, but that wasn’t completely unusual for them anymore. They started to fan out while they waited for Teal’c to join them.
Despite himself, Jack started humming softly. It wasn’t until he saw Carter staring at him strangely that he realized the song he had begun singing once it got to the chorus. It was the first song he heard on the his radio alarm that morning so it was stuck there until a new song replaced it. He simply shrugged and grinned sheepishly before returning to checking the perimeter for threats.Hey, Mr. Spaceman
Won't you please take me along
I won't do anything wrong
Hey, Mr. Spaceman
Won't you please take me along for a ride
Nothing but rocks, plant and trees as far as the eye could see. Well, to be technical, there were a couple stone monuments, but they looked old and sort of worn down, so Jack didn’t really count them. He was more concerned about signs of recent civilization than Danny’s artifacts. Gazing back at the Stargate, he was beginning to worry about Teal’c’s delay.
Fortunately, a few minutes later the tall Jaffa exited the wormhole, carefully holding his staff in a way that he could easily use it if necessary.
“Teal’c! Buddy! What took you so long?” Jack asked when he saw him. He walked back as the wormhole disengaged with the familiar ‘whoosh’ sound.
Walking over to Daniel, Teal’c held out a small package for the archeologist. “DoctorFraiser realized that DanielJackson told her that he was out of his allergy medicine, but she forgot until you entered the gate to get it. She asked me to wait while she retrieved some for him.”
Daniel took one of the pills immediately, then stuffed the rest of them into his pocket. “Thanks, Teal’c. Say, can you help me with this monument? It has a word on it that I can’t translate,” he said, gesturing to some stones behind the gate.
“Well, you two have fun. Carter and I will check the perimeter,” Jack said while he walked away. Sure he already checked it, but double-checking was more interesting than the dusty rocks.
However, he didn’t get far before hearing Teal’c calling out, sounding very alarmed – a rarity for the stoic Jaffa, “O’Neill! We must leave this place immediately!”
Checking around for something that was threatening, Jack didn’t find anything obvious, so he asked, “What is it? Another one of those planets the Goa’uld have made toxic?”
Shaking his head, Teal’c said, “The Goa’uld would be too frightened to attempt staying here for long.”
Intrigued at the idea of something or somebody who could instill that reaction in the Goa’uld, Daniel inquired, “Really? Something here scares the Goa’uld? Is that what the symbol means? It says what’s here?”
“Indeed,” Teal’c confirmed, trying to get them to hurry back to the gate. “It says that this planet is home to fau’res.”
Jack shook his head in disbelief; he coulda sworn Teal’c said the Goa’uld were scared of fairies. “You mean those things with see-through wings?” he verified. He couldn’t help but get a mental image of miniaturized Nox with wings…not exactly the stuff of nightmares.
Surprised that the Tau’ri had heard of them, but weren’t immediately frightened, Teal’c nodded. “That is the creature, O’Neill. We must leave before they sense we are here.”
Carter thought back to other times when Teal’c was concerned about a situation they hadn’t faced before. “Sir, if Teal’c thinks it’s a bad idea for us to be here, we probably should listen to him,” she suggested rationally.
“Yeah, okay. I’m just not looking forward to telling the general we ran from fairies,” Jack complained with a sigh. Not to mention what the jarheads would say when they found out. It would make his hell week during basic training look like a joyride.
“Fau’res,” Teal’c corrected distantly. His symbiote was getting more distressed the longer they remained on the planet.
Before they could finish dialing Earth, a loud screech was heard from the tree line. Instinctively, Daniel started pushing the buttons faster so they could escape whatever made that sound. Once the wormhole was established, he punched in the code for the iris and waited for the indicator light which told him it was received and the iris was open.
Jack waved Daniel and Carter to go through first while he and Teal’c covered them. They had just crossed the event horizon when this…creature came zipping across the opening towards them. The damn thing looked like some kind of twisted Unas/dragonfly hybrid.
“Careful, O’Neill! The wings can slice through Jaffa armor!” Teal’c yelled as they ran backward through the gate. The terrifying part was neither the staff weapon or the P90 seemed to have a marked effect on them.
As soon as they stepped into the gateroom, Jack yelled, “Close the iris!”
General Hammond confirmed, “Do it!” Carter and Daniel had warned him that something potentially dangerous was on the planet. Something bad enough to spook Teal’c
of all people.
Glaring at the Jaffa, Jack snapped, “You guys gotta come up with something more dangerous-sounding than ‘fairy’ for those things.” He looked at Carter and Daniel to explain, knowing that he had to describe the creature right away to ward off the rumor mill…hopefully, “Imagine an Unas-type creature that can fly and slice through Jaffa armor with their wings and the resiliency of cockroaches after a nuke.”
Relieved to be away from those creatures, Teal’c blandly corrected O’Neill again, “Fau’re.”
A/N: Just more goofiness from the minds of Musie and my real life friends.