Eldritch identities and mysterious islands mentioned in this ficlet are the property of the Bard of Providence, H.P. "I hate sashimi" Lovecraft
"I am never eating sushi again," Buffy said as the mass of tentacles and goo collapsed behind her.
"Phew, light a match!" Xander waved away the miasma cloaking the eldritch ruins covering the island. "Did this thing ever do housekeeping? Smells worse than the old basement."
"Before or after you moved in?" Buffy gestured with the Scythe, making it disappear.
"That Highlander move is so cool," Xander said. "How did you do it?"
"There's a reason the head of the Order is called 'Scythebearer'." Buffy flicked a piece of Old One off her capris. "Actually, it's more like it appears in the hands of any Slayer who really needs it. Kinda a destiny slash necessity thing. I just have a little more control over it."
"So, what now?" Xander scratched his head. "It's gonna take a lot more than some gunpowder and a flare to sink this thing."
"We're keeping it," Buffy informed him, skirting a worn column.
"You mean taking over--" Xander squinted with his single eye. "What did Giles say this place was called again?"
"Earlyeh something." Buffy shrugged. "Should be called Earl-yuck, I know. But hose it down, bulldoze these old buildings, we have a new base."
"Yeah, these'll have to come down." Xander grimaced. "Not one up to code in the bunch. Look, the angles are wrong. The crew that built this should be sued."
"I say we call it 'Summeria'," Buffy said. She sighed at Xander's blank expression. "Summers. Sumer. Antiquties joke. Hey, I got a 1430, and you know it most of it wasn't in the math."
"I say we call that Mount Faith," Xander said, gesturing at a craggy hill in the distance. "Twin prominent peaks."
"At least Andrew will shut up about wanting an island with a helipad," Buffy said. "Did you see the LEGO model he always brings to High Council meetings?"
"He may be a geek, but he's my kind of geek." Xander grinned. "Slayers patroling the waters on jetskis. In spandex! With rocket-propelled stake guns!"
"And an invisible jet!"
"You, my dear, are the perfect wife." Xander helped her into the Heart of Gold. "Best. Honeymoon. Ever."
"You know it." Buffy licked her lips as they sailed away. "Huh. All of a sudden I have a craving for calamari..."