Perhaps only that labored voice could have ended the stupor in Giles’ office, as everyone there snapped out of their absolute shock and turned each of their heads. All six of them -- Faith, Willow, Buffy, Dawn, Giles, and Xander -- now saw Hiram in his own chair still looking down at his hands, with the struggle to say those recent words starkly evident upon his youthful features.
Willow’s own face abruptly shifted into concerned alarm, as she also noticed the beads of sweat breaking out on her protégé’s forehead, and how pasty his skin appeared, all indications of the immense strain caused by the demanding spell that was severely overtaxing his body. The Red Witch started to call up her own mystical powers to give Hiram some relief by boosting his depleted magic. However, a flick of the young man’s eyes towards someone he deeply respected (and had something of a crush on) stopped Willow at once, as Hiram then croaked, “Wait….almost over….this shows…..Slayer.”
Again, a sparking globe formed over the strand of hair from their
Buffy in the wizard’s trembling hands, to then quickly arise into the air, and zoom with blurring speed, like a bee on steroids, directly at the magical oval. The instant that glittering ball touched the face of the screen showing the bedroom beyond, this luminous round object popped out of existence, leaving behind no sign whatsoever of its presence.
Bewildered at seeing nothing happen, all there (except Hiram slumping back in his chair) continued to watch a child happily rushing around her room, getting ready for a promised visit to the park, as mentioned by someone named Uncle Bill who’d stayed out of sight during his brief visit. Quickly donning her new jacket from Macy’s, the little girl who was baptized Ava Elizabeth Davis but had answered to the nickname of ‘Buffy’ during all of her entire short life now started to leave the bedroom, only to halt in her tracks while that charming youngster scrunched up her cute face at forgetting something. Dashing over to her bed, the girl reached under a pink, ruffled pillow, and she promptly pulled out something from under this cushion.
Giving a joyous hug to her mostest favorite toy in the whole wide world, Buffy then declared right into the face of a doll with blonde hair and painted spectacles, “Mrs. Beasley, we’re gonna have so much fun at the park!” Performing another exuberant embrace that perfectly expressed this child’s innocent love and caring, Buffy skipped out of the bedroom with that named doll, all quite unaware during this that her plaything was presently throwing off mystical sparkles visible only to those in another dimension, who’d just found out where a certain Slayer had been after her sacrifice to save the world.
Right after that, the oval screen vanished from existence, as Hiram sighed with utter relief at his exhausting spell finally being over. Closing his eyes for a few brief moments to regain his strength, that young wizard eventually became conscious of the total silence in the room, and Hiram cracked open one eye to take a quick peek. An anxious instant later, the other eye joined its fellow orb in glancing around, only for Hiram to then see five people sitting motionless in their chairs, arms grimly folded across their chests and steadily glowering at the focus of their attention. Which lead to Hiram right away following their baleful gazes, to where a blonde woman who over the years had bestowed upon her family a truly immense amount of grief over what they’d once done to Buffy Summers during what was now known to have been perhaps the most ridiculous occasion of her entire existence.
This Slayer was also remaining totally immobile in her own chair, both hands lifted up to press her palms and fingers against her face, in an instinctive attempt to hide from all there. As he too stared at that woman, Hiram suddenly realized that whenever in the next few moments that Buffy brought down her hands, she would then do one of three things: burst into tears, start laughing hysterically, or most likely, proceed to slaughter everyone in Director Giles’ office out of sheer embarrassment.
Belatedly understanding that now was a good time to get the hell out of there, Hiram lurched upwards from his chair, and then he staggered towards the room door, thankfully getting control of his legs along the way. After all, he’d soon need every bit of his speed from these limbs. None of the Scooby Gang bothered to watch him leave; instead, they continued to stare stonily at a still-frozen Buffy. Reaching the door, Hiram yanked this open, slipped out as fast as possible, and he then ran for his very life.
However, just before beginning his headlong sprint, Hiram Tolleson managed to hear, through the gap of the office door swinging shut behind him, a young woman sweetly saying to her big sister, “Hey, Buffy, considering that Angel once turned into a puppet, things might’ve been worse. You
could’ve been a Betsy Wetsy doll.”
Further Disclaimer: All Family Affair characters and the resulting merchandise of that 1960’s television program belong to whatever person, corporation, or company currently in possession of the rights to these.
Author’s Note: I still
can’t believe that I’m the first one ever to do a Family Affair crossover on Twisting the Hellmouth! If anyone knows otherwise, drop me a line in the review section, but I searched in here, and couldn’t find anything
about the only other television program that had a female character named Buffy! True, the original series was broadcast from 1966 to 1971, but there was a remake on cable by the WB Network with 14 episodes shown and the cast with the same names, and that was in 2002, when BtVS was still on!
If you do
need a reminder of the original version, here’s a link to a picture of that show’s Buffy and her doll that we now know was Buffy too:
Anissa Jones, who originally played that character with the weird hairstyle, became quite popular and was the star of several marketing campaigns taking advantage of this. Which lead to what’s presented in the link below. After seeing that, the only proper reaction to anyone knowing about a certain Slayer’s hopeless culinary skills at her Sunnydale home just has
to be an aghast declaration of: “The horror…. The horror….”