Cordy’s Great Idea
Summary: **Part of the ‘Not Your Typical Wins’ series** When the gang finds out about the Master’s prophecy a little earlier than anticipated, Cordy comes up with a way to save the day. Crackfic!
Challenge: Musie couldn’t stop until all the big bads were taken care of, crackfic-style.
Timeline: season 1.
A/N: With this story, I have taken care of all seven seasons of big bads, plus a couple secondary bads.
Warning: ehh, maybe a spit-take warning.
Thanks to my betas: why make them suffer prematurely?
Disclaimer: BtVS and AtS characters belong to Joss Whedon / Mutant Enemy. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.
After finding the bodies of her boyfriend and the other boys, Cordy blindly followed Willow to the library. They had given their statements to the police, and Willow said something about needing to talk to the librarian about it. What did that stuffy guy from England have to do with anything?
The traumatized cheerleader listened as Mr. Tweed rambled on about vampires and demons and Buffy being some mystical warrior called the Slayer. Well, this put some stuff in a new light. She always knew these people were like a magnet for the weird; now she knew the reason why.
Then he told them about the Master’s prophecy and that if Buffy were to face him – which she kinda had to to stop the vampires from destroying the town – she would die. Giles was trying to come up with ideas of how to help her. Thinking back to how many times the blonde saved her life in the past few months that she knew about, Cordy figured it was only fair to help Buffy survive if possible.
Suddenly, she got an idea.
“So basically what you’re telling us is that vampires are pretty much the cockroaches of the demon world? Why not use that against them?” she inquired.
Xander scoffed, “I don’t think using Raid would work on vampires, Cordy.” He turned to Giles with a hopeful expression and asked, “Would it?”
While Giles was shaking his head, Cordy explained her plan, “They have roach motels to trap those
disgusting creatures, so using some superglue to trap this Master guy should work. At least in theory.”
“And where would we get enough superglue to dump on him…if we could find him and get him to stand still?” Willow asked. She liked the idea, but saw too many flaws in it.
Cordy smiled smugly. “As luck would have it, one of Daddy’s companies is a superglue factory. We just fill up one of those tanker trucks with some, and use the hose to spray the Master from a safe distance. When it hardens, Buffy can just walk over and kill him.”
Sighing, Giles replied, “It’s a crazy idea, and I’m not sure it will work, but at least we could try it.”
Two days later…
When they told Buffy the plan, she seriously wondered if they had been sniffing superglue at the time. But since she really didn’t want to die, she decided to go along with it.
She followed the Anointed One down to the lair, then staked him before he could leave her side. The others came a few minutes later with a huge hose which was connected to the glue truck. How the hell did Cordy manage to convince her dad and the driver to do this?
Everyone grabbed the hose to control it, but gave Cordy the honor of handling the nozzle – since this was her idea. She kept spraying blindly into the cavern until the truck ran out, hoping that she had covered all the surfaces. Even with the masks they wore, the smell was incredibly strong.
That was the day before. With that much glue, it would take a long time to dry.
They donned their masks again and took some adhesive remover so they wouldn’t get caught themselves. Buffy and Giles took a pair of crossbows and swords, while the rest of them had stakes and crosses.
It was pretty comical when they lit up the caves with some spotlights. All around there were vampires stuck to the floor, the walls, pretty much everywhere. One brainiac even thought climbing to the ceiling would save him…only to get glued there instead.
The younger vampires were easy enough to take out with the crossbows because they didn’t have the reaction time as the older ones. A couple older ones were stuck in positions where they couldn’t defend themselves, so they were dusted from a safe distance, too. That just left a handful that Buffy and Giles had to go right up to in order to slay.
“This wasn’t the way this was supposed to happen!” cried the Master just before Buffy used her sword to decapitate him.
A/N: Let’s just hope the EPA doesn’t find out about this.