No Longer a Dog
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer nor do I own Supernatural.
They’re called ‘servants of heaven’ like it’s something honorable. Like there’s something good
about being someone’s slave, someone’s lapdog.
Dogs. All of them. Groveling things. Blind in their views on their Master, the one they call Father. He treats them as if they are dogs. Attack dogs, dogs to tear at the flesh of the foul beasts that besmirch Creation. Docile dogs, meant to coddle the humans and protect the special ones.
Dogs. Loyal until the end.
He was a dog once. A mighty creature of celestial intent that repelled the efforts of the demons that tried to destroy them. He was a dog devoted to his Master…
…Until one day that dog gets kicked so hard he vowed never again to work tirelessly for a Father that clearly has no love for his own.
Their Master had once made them swear to love His creations, the humans, greater than they loved Him. Like a good dog, he did. He was a loyal beast for almost his entire life. He fought against the demons for them, healed them, and looked out for them – all under his Father’s orders, of course.
In the beginning he was given an order that would, one day, change his life. It was an honorable mission, one that some siblings were jealous of, but at the time he had no idea the gravity of his Father’s decision. While his eldest brothers, the archangels, served as guardians for the prophets, he was given a different assignment – to serve as the guardian for the slayer line.
For one who generally liked humans, it wasn’t easy to see those young girls die so often. Yet he knew they would find their reward in Heaven. After all, why would a human want
to spend more time on Earth? The world was growing increasingly violent and it became clear that Heaven would be the best place for these female warriors. These were children, really, who had responsibilities thrust upon them that they never should have had in the first place.
His orders were simple. To watch out for the slayers. Ensure that no one tried to destroy the line. To spread the essence to the potential slayers and activate them upon the death of the former one. Other than that, he was never allowed to interfere.
But one day this dog bit back.
He ignored his orders – for he imagined that his Father long ago began ignoring his prayers to return to the Host – and he interfered. For thousands of years he had only watched but this time he just couldn’t anymore.
He really didn’t understand why he couldn’t refrain, but if he was honest with himself it was because he felt
something for her. There was a spark in her soul and it warmed him. Her soft laughter, cheeky smile, masterful use of words, bravery…he coveted her. It went against all he knew to be right, but he couldn’t stop himself. Seldom did he descend into the human world to closely watch them interact but he did so daily for this slayer. In time he began to even pick up the colorful way she spoke and imitated her unconsciously.
His brethren did not understand the changes in him. But he did not care what they thought. They did not know the world the way he knew it. The world that was suddenly better by her being in it.
The night he ignored his orders and stepped in to help was the night the vampire drowned her. She was so fragile in that pool of water. He watched as the liquid soaked into her pretty white dress and spread throughout the fabric. It made him think of how she tried to soak up everything in life, to experience everything.
And he realized something. He was not pleased that she would be arriving in Heaven.
Heaven, of course, was a blissful place but it was comprised of a soul’s favorite moments. There were no new interactions there. For the slayer it would be a good place but she had few happy memories. She was so young! There was more she had to do and see, so much more.
And, if he admitted it to himself, he couldn’t bear the thought of not being able to watch her live anymore. To instead just peek in on her in Heaven would be repetitive and boring, and if there was one thing this girl was, it wasn’t boring.
She was dead by the time the boy and the other vampire came for her, but her soul had not yet left. There was time yet.
So he used the boy and pressed life back into the slayer. She awoke sputtering and appearing disheveled but there was a fierce look in her eyes. One that promised death to the vampire who killed her.
It was a look he recognized in himself during battle.
He was a dog once. A groveling, spineless dog constantly waiting for orders. Always wanting to please. His moment of saving the slayer had gone overlooked and he returned to being a good pup and doing as he was told.
When the slayer ascended to Heaven he was glad because he had begun to witness the weariness that infiltrated her soul. The haggard expression that she bore; for while she would smile on the outside and her friends never knew, he
knew. He saw how tired she was. Heaven was a blessing.
From time to time, he came to visit. More frequently than other angels would check in on a charge. But she was special. And although her Heaven consisted of memories he had already witnessed, he discovered that they, in fact, never did become boring or repetitive. She
never got boring or repetitive.
So he was a happy dog, content to perform for his Master and watch the slayer during his free moments. Sometimes he thought of speaking to her, but he never did. After all, what would one say? It was best to leave her be, to leave her happy in her Heaven.
But then one day he was watching her. She was accepting the award for ‘Class Protector’, an oft-visited memory of hers, when cracks began to appear in the walls of the faux-school auditorium. The slayer looked around in bewilderment as pieces of the ceiling crashed around her and the walls began toppling onto the floor.
There was something here. Something powerful. He could feel a tentacle of magic reach for her and he screamed something barbaric and pulled his silver sword out.
Suddenly, he was terribly afraid.
His arms swung in mighty arcs over the power that surged through the room but he could not sever the magic that threatened to take his slayer away. It was more powerful than him…yet few things could be more powerful than an angel.
Her eyes grew round and he could have sworn she was watching him. But then an invisible fist clutched her torso and she was yanked through the floor. He followed as swiftly as his wings would carry him, mad eyes scanning the earth below. Others witnessed his descent but no one’s gaze lingered. After all, there were more important things to worry about. Things like the Apocalypse.
He became disoriented as he fell and he struggled to maintain a lock onto her soul. He had no idea where she was going but fear clutched his heart. Was she being taken to Hell? Had Lucifer somehow managed this?
But his fears were alleviated when he saw that she was thrust back into her old body as it began re-knitting itself. He witnessed in astonishment as her fingers, curled into claws, dug through the earth. She emerged like something she used to slay out of her grave and stared at the world in bewilderment.
And that was when he knew. She had been brought back. Like his friend Castiel brought Dean Winchester back. But why? And why had no one told him?
As he watched her stagger through the burning city of Sunnydale he felt a swirl of emotions he had never experienced before. This never should have happened. She had been happy
. At peace. Her service was over.
Anger spread through him like fire. He could feel it coursing through the veins of his vessel. THIS was wrong. She never should have been brought back like this!
His anger enflamed, he prayed that it would just swallow him. He was disappointed by Heaven’s new action; it was the type of feeling a child would have once they realized their father is only human. But his Father wasn’t human, was he? So he was just wrong then.
And then the flames of his anger licked his insides, he realized how he felt like a phoenix. Full of flames yet never dead, not truly. They live forever. And that gave him an idea.
So he allowed his anger to swallow him whole and faked his death for his brethren, only to begin a new life secretly.
A life where he wasn’t a dog.
This is a one-shot now because I have too many in-progress stories at the moment )bad case of no-time-and-no-inspiration) and I’m unsure if I'll be able to continue this…Ideally, I would like to but we’ll see how this is received…
This is from Balthazar’s point of view, by the way. He first appears in Supernatural Season 6 episode 3 “The Third Man” and he said that he left Heaven because Cas gave him the idea. I
thought there would be more to that :)