Slayer of Cakes
Summary: Andrew calls on an old culinary friend to make the anniversary party for Buffy’s 10th year of slaying extra special.
Challenge: just my complete love of both shows.
Timeline: I’ve gotten about halfway into season 4, so the staff members from the opening titles for Charm City Cakes will come from that time.
Warning: maybe a bit of a gross factor – but in a funny way.
Thanks to my betas: AshDawnSoulmates, AerynSpeedleCaine and JacobPhoenix.
Disclaimer: BtVS and AtS characters belong to Joss Whedon / Mutant Enemy. Ace of Cakes belongs to Becca Lewis, Tom Rogan, Authentic Entertainment and the Food Network. Wizard of Oz characters belong to L. Frank Baum, a whole bunch of screenplay writers (seriously, wiki had like 20 listed) and Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.
After pastry school, I decided to make cakes my way. So I set up shop and hired the most talented people I know…my friends. We do it all: make it bigger, make it badder, make it awesome! For me…it’s all about the cake. Charm City Cakes
Weekly planning meeting, Monday morning…
When the whole team was seated at the table, Mary Alice opened the meeting by commenting, “So this week is a bit unusual for us. All of the cakes that we’re making are for the same event. We won’t be filming this for TV since not everyone in the world knows about vampires and magick. Somebody from the Council will come to film for them, though.”
Duff took over the explanation from there, “An old friend of mine from cooking school has asked us to take care of this massive party his employer is throwing in honor of the head Slayer, Buffy Summers. Apparently she’s been slaying for 10 years now, and that’s like, completely amazing
for a Slayer to last that long. Andrew is her personal assistant, and thought she’d get a kick out of having a theme of all the ‘big bads’ she defeated over the years. There’s basically one for each year – but a couple years are a little different ‘cause the big bads for those years were her friends or something.”
To keep the meeting on track – because Duff sometimes went off on a tangent – Mary Alice cut in with the assignments, “There’s a lot to do this week and everyone gets to be responsible for their own cake, plus the tenth cake will be a group effort. We have drawings of these…things, and a description of how they were killed. There’s also specific requests for the cake flavors from Andrew.
“For year one, Adam, you get to make Lothos using an almond amaretto cream cake. He was a Dracula-ish vampire who was killed by a broken chair leg. Year two, Katherine, you have the Master and white chocolate raspberry cake. He was…ugh, gross and impaled on a busted table.”
“I get to make the Judge for the third year!” Duff shouted in excitement. “It will be a chocolate espresso cake. He was a giant smurf with horns killed by a rocket launcher. That means fireworks!” Duff was practically vibrating in his chair.
Mary Alice rolled her eyes at him and continued, “Geof gets to do fireworks, too. In the fourth year, the Mayor turned into this huge snake demon and was blown up with homemade explosives. He’ll use lemon poppyseed for that.
“Elena, since you’re so good at the gross, you get Adam from the fifth year. You can use pumpkin and cinnamon for that. He was a Frankenstein monster who had his uranium power core ripped out by Buffy. The core should have gore and stuff dripping off it.
“For her sixth year, Ben has Glory who was beaten down with a troll hammer at the foot of a rickety tower. Dulce de leche should be good for that one.
In an aside, Ben remarked, “It’s rather ironic for me to do that one ‘cause her human half’s name was Ben.”
Coming back to the meeting, Duff said, “The seventh year cake is a demon they didn’t actually defeat, but he still went away? Since he’s dressed in blue, I’ll take him as well and use pineapple coconut for him.”
“The eighth year… That one’s a team effort is Caleb and a bunch of Turok-Han, which are, I guess the vampires that vampires fear. This was the Council’s biggest battle; the one that made them the Council. Caleb was split in two, and the Turoks are decapitated. Now, it’s a little unbelievable because they’re supposed to dust, but maybe we can put some piles of ‘dust’ around to imply there were more of them. Mudslide should be cool for it,” Duff concluded.
Grabbing the next sheet, Mary Alice kept going, “Anna, you have the Immortal for year nine. He was a glamoured demon who Buffy beheaded once she used him for info on the European demon community. Andrew thinks she’ll really like this one because he soiled her reputation by claiming they were dating. She was not
happy to find that out. Especially when she learned he was some guy named Whistler she met in Sunnydale. Tiramisu would be great for that because the Immortal was in Rome.
“Mary Smith…yours has to be the strangest one. During her tenth year, somehow the Wicked Witch of the West came to life and was causing all kinds of trouble. You know that she’ll be shown melting into a pile. The peanut butter cup cake could work for it. We might want to have some dry ice for the effects on that.”
Once Mary Alice finished, Duff told them the last bit, “On top of all that, we’re going to bake sheet cakes of all the remaining 38 flavors that we make. Slayers have hearty appetites so we’ll need a lot of cake. You don’t want to make them angry,” he warned, having been told that repeatedly by Andrew.
While they set up the cakes, Duff gushed, “This is so cool! We all got to teleport here with the cakes. Man, I wish we could get that for all of our cake deliveries! That would just be sick!”
The camera was handed to one of the Watchers so Andrew could talk about the cakes. “The Lothos cake was really funny; you could see his surprise when Buffy jammed that chair leg into his heart. Katherine did a superb job on the Master; she made a skeleton out of gum paste, but had his face still intact so we knew who he was. The Judge was a favorite of the Slayers; not sure why that was, but it was cool to see sparklers sticking out of his chest.
“The Mayor was a close second for being a top pick; I think Faith was grateful we did the snake version instead of the human one. Everyone agreed that Adam was the grossest cake of the bunch. Elena made the tissue and blood coming out of the hole in his chest and the uranium core very realistic and…ick. We all laughed when we saw that instead of having a head, Glory had the troll hammer with blonde hair sticking out from the bottom.
“A couple of the younger Slayers asked if maybe Sweet was responsible for the TV show Glee, but we don’t really think so. Not enough spontaneous combustion happened. None of the guys liked the Caleb cake ‘cause of the Scythe stuck in his...you know what place. It was still probably better than having him split completely in two, though. Buffy looked like she wanted to put the Immortal Whistler back together so she could behead him all over again. He must have really made her mad. The cutest
cake had to be the melting witch; looked just like the scene from the movie.”
Mary Alice remarked during her own aside, “Apparently we made the cakes a little too well? Everyone was a bit creeped out by them. Finally, Buffy whispered to Duff that she was sorry for she was about to do.”
Duff was laughing as he continued the explanation, “Suddenly, we’re in the middle of the biggest cake fight…ever! Of course, once the cakes didn’t look like the big bads anymore, people were scraping pieces off each other and eating them, saying how delicious evil tasted.”
“This was the best party I’ve ever had,” Buffy said to Andrew’s camera, which was filming the entire event for Council records. She looked a little thoughtful for a moment and added, “But considering my past ones, that’s not really saying much. Still…Duff and his team were awesome about letting us destroy their wonderful cakes like that. At least the sheet cakes were saved for us to eat like normal human beings. Maybe they can do this again for my 20th anniversary.”
“I’m glad the cakes were a hit,” Duff finished. “I have a feeling that more than just our reputation was at stake
. Get it? Stake…vampires…”
A/N: I got the flavors from the Charm City Cakes website. Sorry if any weren’t available in season 4. And sorry if I missed any of the decorators; like I said, I took the names from the opening titles.
EDIT A/N: I sent an email to the bakery to let them know about the story. Mary Alice was kind enough to reply to me. Hope she doesn't mind me putting it in here, but she made me so happy that she liked the fic that I couldn't help myself!!!Thanks for your link! I read the story and it's awesome. I'm a huge Joss fan so I really can appreciate it, too! You rock!
Mary Alice Yeskey
Director of Marketing | Charm City Cakes