A Cornucopia of Conquests.
WHO R U Part 2.
A BTVS/11th Doctor Who xover.
It has been brought to my attention that I failed to give spoiler space for Dr Who.As I explained as of now Rory
is not dead in the Whoverse.I did state that it deviates from the last episode of Dr Who ( A good man goes to war) as such at
no time will the 11th Doc be going anywhere near Sunnydale in the next half of the BBC series.All of my story is fiction not
fact about a fictional being/series.I do hope this clarifies things.
Many thanks to Wayne for help with pat of this story,no good deed goes unpunished :)
As he observed Alexander Lavelle Harris is cursed. Deviates from the Halloween episode and Doctor Who 'A good man goes to
war'.The BBC own Who,Whedon owns BTVS I own nothing, but a screwdriver, it’s not sonic...heck it's not even a screwdriver.
Buffy shifts in the uncomfortable plastic chair and glances at Xander's room as a nurse exits it.The nurse walks past Buffy
and nods at her."You girls really like to look after Mr Harris."
Buffy nods and stretches in the chair."Well he is about the only male teen we care about these days."She looks at his room."I
suppose there's no way I can..."
The nurse shakes her head."Sorry but it is against hospital rules,family only I'm afraid."She started to walk away."However if
you're the kind of person that doesn't adhere to rules ...I won't be checking in again for half an hour."She smiled as she
heard quick footsteps that headed to Xander's room.
Buffy quickly made her way to his bedside and whispered."Xander,Xand..."She moved closer."Xander are you awake?"
She waited a second then stood back when there was no sign of movement from him.She sighed then walked to the foot of his bed
and tried to make sense of the notes on the clipboard."This would be a help ...if I knew what the hell it meant."
She looked over to the bedside table and the meager belongings that were there.His old wallet with the Velcro tab,the silver
crucifix she had gotten him for Christmas,a few coins and the old watch he always wore.She saw the face was cracked and and
the watch stopped.She wiped a tear from her eye."We'll get you a new one Xand,any type you want as long as you get better
She heard someone approaching and she knew it wouldn't be the nurse.She moved into the small washroom and partially closed the
door just as a man entered and moved to Xander's side."Well lets have a look at you shall we."The man flipped through Xander's
chart and sighed."Mmm AB-!"He looks at Xander."I know a lot of beings that will pay whatever I ask for your other parts but
your blood is considered to be like a fine wine amongst the pulse challenged."
Buffy didn't need to hear his words to know the being was not human her inner senses were going crazy and she was about to
throw the door open and challenge the man when all of a sudden another person entered the room.
"Really,in a hospital,and the poor boy not even dead yet.Did you Xenomorphia even try to know the meaning of the words I
carved into your Master Matrix?"
Buffy paused and let the scenario play out before her.The manlike creature turned and smiled at the intruder.He sniffed the air
and hissed."Doktorrrr!!!Your name is now a curse in the Onshwari peoples tongue."He drew a very sharp very formidable blade
from behind him."It will bring great hhhonour to my clutch to end you!"
The Doctor just smiled."You know I never can tell just who it is I'm killing with you lot,you all have the same..."
Buffy chose then to attack the human looking creature with the weird knife.She hit him across the face with the lid from the
toilet she grabbed on her way out then broke it over his head as he dropped.She quickly wrenched the knife from his almost
lifeless hands and slit it's throat.
She stood and held the knife low ready to strike out at the man in front of her.
The Doctor sighed."What is it with you humans always kill first ask questions later."
Buffy narrowed her eyes."What were you going to do then?Strangle him with that stupid bow tie?"
The Doctor became indignant as he straightened his tie."I'll have you know that,along with Stetsons, bow ties are cool."He
smiles at her and offers his hand."Hello I don't believe we've met.I'm the Doctor."
She moves between him and Xander."I know what you are Doctor!"She spat his name out."When you appear death and destruction
The Doctor tilted his head then snapped his fingers and pointed at her."And you would be the much maligned Slayer."He
straightened up and continued."I told them it would be a big mistake to infuse a human with a demon spirit.Demon's are not
known for their tenderness nor their ability to think beyond the whole 'Gork kill,Gork crush' mentality."
He saw her move to attack then she stopped suddenly and he could see a hint of desperation appear.He sighed."Put that gun back
in your pants Pond!"He turned his head so he could see her look of surprise."What?You think the TARDIS hasn't got a weapons
sensor?Put it away Amelia!"He turned back to Buffy muttering."Wasn't born yesterday you know."
He shrugged."Sorry about that,she gets a bit rowdy nowadays.Now where were we?" he mentally rewinds."Hi I'm the Doctor,your the
Slayer, big mistake regarding demon spirits and human female children..Oh yes..."He looks earnestly at her."Unless we get this
fine fellow to the TARDIS he will go quite mad and more than likely end this world!"he looks pleased."And that's the best
scenario if you stop us."
Buffy looks from the Doctor to this Pond woman then at Xander before glaring at the Doctor."We wait till I can call Giles."
"I assume that is your watcher yes?"Buffy nods."Amy your mobile if I may."
Amy keeps her eye on Buffy as she hands him her phone.He hands it to Buffy."It's called a mobile phone..all the best killers
Buffy gives him a fake sarcastic smile."I know what a cell phone is."She takes it and calls Giles who tells her to get the
being out of Xander's room and wait for him to get there.She tells the doctor and his companion but as they leave the room he
points a strange pen like object at the body of the Onshwari."Do you mind?" Buffy looks on and asks."Do I mind..WHAT THE
A blue beam is emitted from the device and the demon's body fades away."Hospitals should always be clean and bodies unseen I
always say."They continue out of the room and into the hallway.
Buffy stops as they all see the nurse collapsed on the floor.Buffy glares at the Doctor and he in turn just says."Pond?"
Amy blushes and points at her."She was going to go into his room,I had to stop her."She shrugs,looks at the floor and
mumbles."It was set on stun."
15 Minutes later.
Giles and Willow walked into the hospital corridor that Xander's room was on and saw a regular looking man wearing a bow tie
and a brown tweed jacket.Giles immediately attempted to straighten his own tweed jacket as he got closer.
The Doctor jumped to his feet at Giles's approach causing Buffy to stand guard in front of Giles protectively.This caused Amy
to do the same.The Doctor waived the pair to sit back down."Now ,now girls there's a time and place for all that estrogen and
unspent aggressive energy and I suspect a hospital is not that place."
He held out a hand to Giles."Mr Giles I presume? I do hope you received all my faxes and information."
Giles looked stunned."No I never.."
The Doctor grinned."I sent them from your council headquarters,the files,the back history of myself, the pictures of the watch
and the cube of Arturus....
Giles was angry to put it mildly."Yes,yes all that and the pictures and information regarding the manikin invasion."
The smile froze on the Doctors face."Errr the what now?"
Willow nods."The pictures of the head and arm and the information regarding an invasion and an explosion."
Amy looked at the Doctor."What's she mean?"
The Doctor looked dumbstruck."Oops...I uh may have over egged the pudding slightly..I may have fed a bit too much
Amy told them."You must forget you received that information."
Buffy smiled."Not so smart are ya."
Amy snorted."And your lot didn't even click that A) this was a plot to get you more closely involved and B) You never even
noticed the year the attack happened?"
The Doctor could tell by the way she looked at him and the fact her 'brogue' was up he was in for some real trouble when they
got back to the TARDIS.He took Giles's hand and shook it anyway."When your young friend awakens, if we do not be treat him
correctly, he will be a greater danger to the multiverse than anything else that has come before him."
Giles removes his hand from the Doctor's grip and states."Well from what we gathered that danger was yourself 'Doctor'.Why
should we believe you?"
The Doctor nods."I could tell you to believe me because I have spent the past fifty odd years defending the Universe from such
threats.I've spent the last ten regenerations defending humans and it's interstellar offspring in particular."
Amy also defends him."The Doctor is a Time Lord,the last of his race,and each time he regenerates it is because he has DIED in
Buffy shakes her head."So if you Time Lords are all that great why are you the last then?"
She regrets her words as a haunting look overcame his features and he looked as old as the universe itself."It's simple,I am
the last because I killed them all."He looked at Buffy."At the time we were involved in a 'Time' War with a horrible race of
creatures called the Daleks.They're only reason for living was killing anything not Dalek."He sat as he felt the very words
catch in his throat.
"Our plan all along was to get them to concentrate all their forces,all their race,on attacking Galifray and it's Time
Vortex."He looked into Buffy's eyes."We had a plan,the plan involved every Time Lord and every TARDIS holding them in place
while a simple fool held the truth of the 'true moment'."By now his eyes reddened and he was almost shaking in remembrance."So
at the end of it all the Daleks were gone,my people were gone,my planet burned for a thousand days till there was nothing left
to burn."He stood up and tugged at the hem of his coat."And now here I am still a fool,only now I protect the descendants of
monkeys from invasion and their own foolish quests."
Willow speaks up in a hushed tone."And what of Xander?He's human,he's our friend and we won't let you harm him."
He shakes his head."I'm sorry child but Xander is no longer human,as his madness proves he has heard the drums.The drums are a
manifestation created to weed out the week from the strong so only those mentally fit enough to survive the source of the drums
live to become a Lord of Time."
Amy attempts to explain something she only learned at the Doctor's final death."Also I have to tell you that there are beings
that would destroy the earth if it meant they could gain just a piece of a Time Lord."
Willow looks stunned."So not only do I loose my best friend since I was five we have to...to "
Buffy places her hands on her hips and stares defiantly at the pair."Well that ain't going to happen.What's going to happen is
you will make him human again!"
The Doctor shakes his head."I'm sorry but the only possible way to make him human again is with a Chameleon Arch and there are
no more of them left in this time line."He then pauses."The strange thing is it would take a hell of a lot of power to create a
Time Lord,more power than is possible,the other thing is he looks familiar." He moves a hand to the back of his head."It's
like an itch here every time I see him."
Giles nods."Yes every time I see him he affects my mind too,it normally ends up in a Migraine for me though."
The Doctor sees the look of concern on Buffy's face and he leans into her."That's sarcasm dear,nothing to worry about."
He then snaps his fingers in a eureka moment."The Corsair!He looks like ...you wouldn't understand her real name,but he
possibly has some of the features of another Time Lord or someone I should damn well know!But who?"
He asks Giles."Have you noticed anything strange happening around him?"
Giles answers."This is the Hellmouth,you need to be more specific."
Willow tells him."Magic tends to go all wonky around him."Her eyes light up."ooh he had to have some tests 'cuz his parents
were worried he had a problem with spatial awareness."
The Doctor takes out his sonic screwdriver and moves towards Xander's room."I need to run some tests,but this is beginning to
be a lot more weirder than I first thought."
Buffy sighs and nods as Amy tells them."You know something?I'm really getting sick of this place."She follows the Doctor into
the teens room.She watches him run some tests with his device and she asks."So you think this other Time Lord had a child here
"The Corsair's not just any Time lord Amy,she was named that due to the fact she had...nimble,sticky fingers...uhh as in things
she touched,things worth a lot of money,left with her."
"She was a thief as well then,does this run in Timelord blood or something?"Amy grinned.
"Not now Pond I'm trying to...well hello there,... Mr result meet Mrs answer."He shuts the screwdriver and turns to Amy."If I
were to say he had the same basic,undiluted, DNA as a Time lord and that DNA had been there from birth what would you say?"
She quickly looks at Xander."This was no boating accident,something made him appear human."She looked puzzled."But if he has
...who was her partner?"
The Doctor blushed and ran a finger around his shirt collar."Well um..there was a time in my uhh fourth re-generation when I
uhh thought pirates may have been cool."
Amy grins."Why you sly old dog you."She looks at Xander."So there's a possibility he could be..."
"My son,yes there is a slim chance and I believe she would have left him with a Chameleon Arch to make him appear human and be
able to blend in.But one would have to ask why?"
Amy shrugs."Maybe she knew what was to come and decided her son should live?It's something I would do."She looked at Xander
and thought of Melody and her husband."If Rory...if Rory knew what was going to happen to Melody we would do it in a
He watched her look at Xander and a slight smile crossed his features as a plan was beginning to bear fruit.
Meanwhile as they were trying to work out the impact of the results a sleek black limosine pulled up outside of the hospital
along with five military vehicles.An older man with a strong military bearing but no uniform steps out of the Limo,straightens
his suit and motions for the soldiers to move in.
As he enters the hospital he pulls out a hand radio and speaks."This is Brigadier Sir Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart I
have arrived at the second contact site,no persons found at the school,will proceed on mission to discover status of Alpha
Buffy,Willow and Giles were waiting for the pair to return with an answer or at least a theory, when Buffy turned to face the
sound of boot-heals approaching them."Oh uhh Giles I think we have company."She stood and faced the armed men in uniform.Giles
and Willow stood,Giles place a hand on Buffy's arm.He moved in front of his Slayer and asked."What's the meaning of this?"
The men parted and let an elderly man that was obviously in charge move between them and to the front.He looked at each of the
people in the hall and turned to Giles."Dr Rupert Giles?" When Giles nods the man all but salutes him then offers his
hand."Sir Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart,U.N.I.T.,I believe you have been making inquires regarding the Doctor?"
Giles shook the mans hand."Yes indeed I have been,however..."
"We need you to stop,in fact I'm here to make sure you do sir."He presented him with an envelope that bore the seal of the
Council."You sir,are shining a light onto something that should never be known outside of the U.N. delegation to the Shadow
Proclamation."Before Giles can respond the Brigadier grabs his arm and whispers."We have tracked four vessels that have
landed close to this town.The beings in them will quite literally tear the people of this city apart looking for viable Time
Lord organic materials.We need to get the Doctor out of this hospital and to a secure facility or back into his TARDIS to
allow him to regenerate."
Giles nods."Yes that would be fine but it's not this 'Doctor' that's sick it's a student of mine."
The other man stood back in disbelief."But our systems,and obviously those of the aliens,registered Regen waves emitting from
this area and as the Time lords are the only ones that have the ability to do this..."
"Ahh Brigadier! I was wondering how long it would take you to get here."The Doctor offered his hand and the
The Doctor smiled."Yes well I've gone through a couple of changes since we last met Sir Alistair as you are no doubt aware."He
then told him."We are in need of your help this time I'm afraid.There's a young chap in that room that appears to be another
Sir Alistair smiles."I hope so for your sake old friend,being the last of anything is never a good thing."He turns to his
men."Colonel I want you to form a secure perimeter around the hospital,set up the array and get it working quick smart ok?"
The Colonel snapped a salute and started giving orders to his men.
"The array should keep out unwanted guests..Oh dear."The Brigadier notices and officious looking man all but running towards
him."I believe I need to stroke someones ego for a short time."He nods to them."Dr Giles,Doctor."
The Doctor watches the man seamlessly halt the official and move him away from them."Ahh Lethbridge-Stewart in his element
again." He turns to Giles."Right then Mr Giles..where do I start..."He holds a finger to his lips in thought then removes it
and says."Your friend Mr Harris isn't who or what you think he might be."
Willow shakes her head."Think again buster!I don't know who you are but I've known Xander since he was five,I've watched him
learn,make friends,fall in love and out of love,bleed for us,almost die for us...He's as human as the next man!"
The Doctor nods his head in agreement."Yes ,yes,as long as the next man is me."He looks at her trying to judge the teen."Tell
me in all your years with him is there anything,no matter how small, or large, that he's never without,never far from until
Willow thought for a while and shook her head."He doesn't have much...his uhh parents aren't that rich and he has to save for
like everything himself."
Buffy realizes something."The watch,you know that old Mickey Mouse watch Cordelia used to rib him about."
Willow's eyes light up." Heee's had that ever since I've known him." Her smile stops." But he's still got it."
Buffy nods."Yeah but it's broken! I saw it on his bedside cabinet with his other stuff."
They all head for his room and when they get there Amy sits back away from him quickly as she could."He had bed hair and I was
just trying to make him more comfortable."She looked at them daring them to think otherwise.The Doctor just smiled as he
moved next to the cabinet and looked for the watch."Careful Pond,your beginning to care."
He watched her scowl at him as he went on to examine the watch with a jewelers Lupe."Aha!..." He threw it down and continued
his search."Made in Taiwan not Galifray...hello."He had opened his screwdriver as it had picked up on something.He changed a
few settings on it and the noise rose up a pitch and the light color changed,revealing something attached to the strap."He
had the watch with him at all times but he also had to have the strap."
Giles looks at the device."But surely he would have noticed it,the weight alone would have been felt or he would have hit
things with it."
The Doctor shook his head."Your thinking like an earther,we work with time and space,the strap is here,the device would be in
a pocket of space."He held it up."As long as the strap was in contact with him it would have worked...and don't call me
Amy shook her head and whispered." I should never have let him watch that damned movie."She looks at him." How long have you
been waiting to say that."
"Three weeks,two days,eleven hours and twenty five minutes..but time is irrelevant to my kind...."He looked at Xander."That
should be 'our' kind now though I suppose."
He held a hand up to stop anymore questions and began working on repairing the device."Now the reason Mr Harris is like he
is..."He used the screwdriver and then changed the settings as he continued to work on the strap."..is because the Arch was
damaged somehow and until we repair it then he will stay as he is,his mind and body trapped neither one nor the other for all
time." He continues to work feverishly.
Buffy asks."But if it's broken then he should be normal,if it no longer works then it can't be controlling him."
The Doctor stops again."How can I say this...it's like a remote for that idiot box you humans watch so much,if you brake it
while watching something then no matter how much you keep pressing the controls the channel stays the same.I think the
feedback that happened when the spell was broken caused the unit to malfunction keeping Mr Harris trapped as he is.Ah Ha!"
He holds the repaired Arch."So we can make Xander normal again now?"Willow asks him.
"It would be his choice but wouldn't you want your friend to be all he could be and not a lie?"The Doctor asks her then looks
at the others."Mr Harris..."
"XANDER! His name is Xander!"Willow growls at him.
The Doctor looks at her as he places the watch back on Xander's hand."Xander is a Lord of Time, a being as far removed from
human as you are from the amoebas that were the first life on this planet."He paused in his task to revitalize Xander."You
have a choice.If I turn the Arch on he will remain Xander and never know the heights he could have achieved,the places he
could see,the beings he could save."
Amy then spoke up."But at least YOU would be happy.I think you owe it to him for him to make the choice don't you?"
Willows rebuke caught in her throat as she realized the strange woman was right however Buffy continued."So your saying he has
a destiny to be one of these Time lords?Well let me tell you what I think of destinies...they suck big time!And anytime they
can be avoided they should be.Xander was happy being who he was."
Giles sighs."But it's not who or what he is Buffy.Could you honestly say you would stop being a slayer and stand back while
god knows how many people died due to your inaction?"
"But..he..I..." Buffy was trapped in her need for Xander to normal and the sudden realization he never was.
Giles turned to the Doctor."What of the drumming,how is this to be cured?"
"Well I detected a rift close by,possibly near the local high school,that we could use to try and enact the ceremony."
Giles looks at him in shock."It's an active Hellmouth you know.What you propose to do to help Xander is to open the
The Doctor activates the watch then turns to them."Not so much open as enter."He checks Xander's readouts with the sonic
screwdriver,reads it then replaces it in his coat."I need to see it first thing,then I will need to program my TARDIS and take
Xander there once he has awakened." He pauses as something Impossible suddenly reaches his mind."TARDIS...Idris?"
He looks at Xander then Amy."I need you to stay here and watch him Amy,shouldn't be too long."He left the room,Giles went to
go but told Willow and Buffy to stay."Just in case." He added.
Amy sat in the chair beside Xander while Buffy and Willow dragged in two more chairs,sitting the other side from Amy.The trio
sat there for sometime until the nurse was allowed in by a soldier stationed at the door.She took note of Xander's improved
readings then glared at Amy as she left without speaking a word."Something tells me she doesn't like you."
Amy smiles."Maybe it's my stunning appearance."
Xander began to move in his bed then his eyes slowly opened,he tried to swallow and asked."********"
Amy got up,poured him some water and handed it to him,careful that he didn't spill any and replied."**************"
"Okay,what the hell now?"Buffy asked.
Amy looked confused then realized."Sorry,I forget that being attuned to the TARDIS means anyone traveling in it can
understand any language."She spoke to Xander who was quickly awakening fully."Xander asked for water because of a massive
brain freeze headache and I told him it would soon be better."
Willow glares at her then stares worriedly at Xander."The only language Xander speaks is bad English."
"Well when he's fully aware of his natural abilities he will speak fluently in what ever language he needs at the time."She
help him straighten up in the bed.Xander smiled at her then said."Girl nice,girl pretty..."He moved his tongue around in his
mouth as if he wasn't used to it then turned to Buffy and Willow."Why do I sound like a special needs student?"
Willow grinned and lept to his side."Xander you're back."She hugged him and he looked quizzically at Buffy."Nice to see you to
Wills."He then saw Amy again and his mouth went dry.Buffy helped Willow back and Xander took a drink to both refresh his mouth
and stall for time.He looked at her again."Uhh hi?Do I know you?...I know you from somewhere."He held a hand to his head as
the muffled sound of the drums returned.He sniffed the air and the memory tingled so much it almost hurt."Amy..Amelia?"
She smiled warily."It's Amy but how do you know that?"
He shrugs." Dunno,it's like I've known you for sometime now." He looks to Buffy."Can you get me a snack food?" He looks to
Willow and smiles."You know the ones I like."He waits till both teens have left the room then tries to comfort Amy."I am so
sorry for your loss."
She backs off."What?"
Xander looks sadly at her."I believe Rory was a good man,willing to do whatever it took to keep you safe and happy."
Amy looked confused."How do you.."
He tapped the side of his head."A wonderful thing the mind..even one as mixed up as mine."He then told her." I can remove the
memories if it's too much for you to bear?"
She shook her head,a tear gathering in the corner of her eyes." No,thank you,I'd rather have the pain than not remember him."
"Pain is good,pain is fleeting,pain can be controlled like any other emotion."
Amy took his hand."How very...Vulcan of you." She realized how much he acted like Rory,the same care for other people.He was
an anchor during her troubled years.Years that lasted from her first encounter with her 'raggedy' Doctor until her Doctors
return."One day,when Melody's back with me and older,maybe then I'll forget and try to move on."
He leaned forward and whispered to her,his mouth inches from her ear."Or maybe sooner,the future is fluid but some points are
fixed."She almost blushed at his next words."And love,love knows no bounds,no borders no sense of right or wrong...just need."
Just then Buffy and Willow entered and were surprised to see Xander sat up and SO close to the strange woman."Xander!" Willow
called out,as she did Amy pulled away from him as if stung.She held up a cup cake."Sorry all they had were these."She moved
quickly to his side and starred daggers at Amy as she sat and handed him the sugary goodness.She asks Amy in a lowered voice."Cradle snatcher!Why don't you date someone your own age?"
Before Amy can reply Xander quickly opened the pack and bit deep into it.Suddenly his face changed to a grimace and he spat the mixture into the wrapping."Good god that's...that's disgusting!"
Amy laughed softly and asked him."Would you like some fish fingers and custard instead?" Xander drank a glass of water as she
said that.He swallowed then held a finger at her."I'm going to go with no on that.Boy you Scot's sure eat the darnedest
Buffy and Willow both looked at him then each other before Buffy asked."Are you sure you're all right Xan?"Willow backed
her."Yeah you sure don't sound all right."
Xander looks at them and nods."Apart from a headache and the sound of muted drums fine,better than ever in fact."He sees them
look at each other with concern and he goes on." I see you don't believe me.I'm not possessed,in fact if anything it's like
I've been dispossessed."
He sees Buffy glance at Willow and he sighs."From what my memories,and remember they are MY MEMORIES,I was just five when my..Mom I guess you could call her,left me here for my own good.I doubt she had any idea of the danger inherent in a time vortex...what you call your 'Hellmouth', that has been corrupted by what feels like the Devil's will."
He then tells the pair something that breaks through their reserve."I am,and will always be, a threat to this planet if I stay here.The price on my head,not to mention my other parts,is too great for any race to resist."He looks at Amy."You have told them about the aliens right?"
Amy nods."I don't think they believed us though."
He grips his head as the drumming increases as the medication wears off more."The Magician died his final death on a planet much like Earth called Mars...look at it now. "41.9 billion life forms erased when the Vaseyia vented the planets atmosphere so they could get his remains without a fight."He looks at them."I will not permit this to happen here.So when the Doctor and his companion leave I will be going with them...if they'll have me."
Amy smiles."I'm sure the Doctor will enjoy the company of another of his kind."
Buffy tries to control herself as she says."Xander, this isn't you!You do realize that right?"
Willow joins in."Buffy's right, Xander. Maybe technically your not possessed, but your definitely not your self. You can't just say your leaving us and that your not 'human' anymore. And you darn tootin' can't leave with a couple of stranger's."
Buffy states and nods at Amy."Exactly.And what's up with 'Her'?"
Amy all but growls in a suddenly thick Scottish brogue."Oi, Bondie, I have a name."
Buffy grimaces."She's ancient."
Amy responds."HEY!I'm 24 year's old!"
Buffy jumps up."AHA!See, she even admits it.You might as well be dating your Grandmother."
Amy shakes her head and throws her hands in the air."How many times do I have to say it - I'M NOT DATING HIM!"
Willow looks confused and says."You looked like you were dating.You were sitting pretty close and whispering to each other.That's kinda like dating,isn't it?
Amy snorts."Say's the 16 year old 'mouse'.If that's what you think dating is all about then boy will you be in for a shock come your Honeymoon.We were sitting close to each other because we were whispering, we were whispering because we didn't want what we
were saying to be overheard.Jeez, it's not like we had our tongues down each others throat."She smiles."That was earlier on when we were alone."
Buffy glares at her."Not that you would have minded if we were here,I bet."
Amy isn't through torturing the pair just yet."Maybe I wouldn't, but it looks as though you sure would have."
Buffy almost stutters out her next words."What's that suppose to mean?"
Amy sighs."It means what it means.If you have a problem with me, then have a problem with ME. Don't have a problem with me because you have a problem with Xander!"
Buffy asks."I don't understand?"
Amy nods."Yes, you do.I know exactly what's going through that mind of yours, because I've been where you've been."She looks at Willow as well."Both of you."
Buffy shrugs."Still not with the 'understanding' part of my last sentence."
Amy grinds her teeth trying to stay calm."Okay, I'll spell it out for you.He's your fallback, your spare.He's the guy you keep around on a string in the event you ever get lonely and need a pick-me-up in the confidence department.He's the shoulder you cry on when your last boyfriend dumped you. That's who he is."Her head swiveled from Buffy to Willow as she talked.
Buffy smiles,finally feeling she had the strange girl now."That's so not who Xander is."
Amy knows she has the pair now and tries to finish the argument."Then why aren't you happy that he's happy? Even if it's with someone like me?"The edges of her mouth turn down sadly as she remembers.
"There was a guy, a very special guy.A wonderful guy.I knew him ever since I was a child.We were best friends, even when people used to call he nutter's and laugh at me because of my 'Raggedy Doctor' Delusion.He was the only one who didn't.I loved him, I just wasn't in love with him.
Amy pauses and waives away Xander's offers of support then continues."It took two really bad break-ups with guys that I do not want to ever think about again, to realize just how much I depended on him.He was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for me to wake-up and realize that I was dating,engaged and married to him and then freak.That I was just waiting for the next sexy macho man thing to walk into our lives and steal me away from him.He was without doubt the best thing to ever happen to me.And all that time he was afraid I would be stolen by someone else, he had no idea how much I dreaded the exact same thing of him.The difference is, I just hid my insecurities better."
Buffy shook her head."I still don't understand.What's this to do with Xander?"
Amy ticked off two fingers as she continued."Your not angry at me.Your not even angry at him.Either of you.Your angry because your afraid you might lose your 'spare'.Your afraid that when your, what did you call me?'Ancient' and all of 24. And your assorted romances haven't worked out the way you wanted them too, you won't have your very own Rory Williams to finally be there and make everything right for you."She looked at the pair sadly as she realized her own future now."You'll be alone."
Willow smiled a scared little smile."Not true."
Buffy nodded,not as sure as she was when the argument commenced."Yeah, what she said."
Amy sighed softly and shook her head in disbelief."Then why do you both now look very, very afraid?"
END OF PART 2