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The Powers Screw Up...Again....

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Summary: The PTB, sick of Xander screwing up their plans, decide to get rid of him and dump him in a place they figure he won't do any ships yet...

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Marvel Universe > X-MenTAOFR181129,02452398121,30427 Jun 1113 Aug 12No

Just Some Senseless Slaughter and Bloodshed

Disclaimer: Don’t own X-Men or BTVS. Just goofing off and having fun.

Author’s Notes: Wow…and the hits and reviews keep coming. I’ll be honest with you, people. I didn’t think this fic would be as popular as it is. I mean, originally, I wasn’t putting much effort into this and writing this as a one-shot drabble…and…well…damn…it’s taken off. I just wanna’ say thank you to all of you who have read this story and stuck around for the ride. The feedback, good or bad, means a lot to me (but the fandom snobbery I can do without).

Anyway, this is just a quick little addition, and I will be finishing off this storyline in the next few days (then it‘s back to “War of Angels“ and mangling a certain Disney product over on the pit). Again, I want to apologize for my muse who has been downing quad-shot mocha-smoothies and listening to various versions of the James Bond theme song. It also didn’t help that the mafia plot bunnies were coming off a marathon multiplayer session of “Goldeneye 007: Reloaded” and were going apeshit when they saw the trailer to Skyfall.

As always, I’ve broken out the “No-Downery” spray (it comes in an orange and green can and looks a lot like a can of “OFF!“ bug-spray…actually, I think it is a can of “Off!” spray and my muse wrapped a piece of paper with “No Downery“ on it around the can) and sprayed it all over this fic. Hopefully it will keep the Downery (and mosquitoes) away.


* * * * *

Using his powers, Erik had taken pieces of scrap some of the boats belonging to the soldiers that had attacked them and fused the components to make a metal platform that he, Emma, and Azazel could stand on as he levitated it towards the freighter. Near the stern of the ship, there was still a fire where a boat had rammed it. However, what got Erik’s attention was the wreckage of over a half-dozen boats and several bodies floating in the water.

Azazel shook his head and let out a low whistle, an uncharacteristic action from his usual stoic personality. “It vould seem our young friend has been busy.”

“That is an understatement,” Erik said. Though he tried to keep his tone neutral, he couldn’t help the tiny smile that tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Emma, is he still alive?”

The blond haired woman nodded. “I can’t get a lock on him directly, but I am getting glimpses of him from his enemies before he kills them.”

“Interesting, you mean you can’t contact him directly?”

Emma shook her head. “When he severed the connection between us, he put up some block that I can’t penetrate at this time.”

“Hmmm…definitely not human,” Erik mused.

“Shouldn’t we go on board and help him?” Emma asked.

Erik shook his head. “Not yet,” he replied, “I’m even more curious as to what our new friend is capable of and I want to see how this plays out.”

* * * * *

Back on board the ship, Xander took cover under a flight of steps as a couple Hydra troops came down the corridor. He took a moment to check out his wound he received from the spear gun and was only mildly surprised to see that it had stopped bleeding and was already starting to heal over.

Hmmm…guess I know what some of the “changes” done to me were. Still hurt like a bitch when I got shot though. I wonder if I’m bullet proof?

He briefly remembered the searing pain he felt when he got impaled by the spear gun.

No…probably not bullet proof. Might be able to survive being shot, but I really don’t want to test that theory.

“I can’t believe we’re wasting our time with these freaks,” one of the Hydra troopers was saying. “I say we just raze the damn beach.”


“I’m with you one that, my friend, but orders are orders,” the other trooper replied as the two of them started up the steps. “Besides, it could be worse, we could be with those poor bastards out there looking for that idiot in the water.”

Xander smiled as he stepped out from his hiding place and came up behind them. “Yeah, I agree,” he said. “Especially if he somehow got onboard.”

Both soldiers turned to look at him. “But that would be imposs-” the first trooper started to say. Though they were wearing facemasks, Xander could imagine the trooper’s eyes widening in horror. Xander opened fire, gunning both men down and then jumped out of the way as their bodies rolled back down the steps. He heard shouting coming from down the corridor followed by the sound of pounding feet, informing him that more troops had heard the shots and were one their way.

“Well,” he said, casually pulling the pin from the grenade he found earlier and tossing it down the corridor. Five men came around the corner just in time for the grenade to come to a stop in front of the lead man who was focusing on Xander and not paying attention to the grenade that had been thrown. He, along with his four friends, brought their weapons up and were about to fire before the grenade exploded, tearing the leader to shreds and sending his companions flying in multiple directions.

Xander didn’t bother watching his handiwork. Instead, he checked one of the two guards at the base of the steps for weapons and then lifted the dead body up, using the dead hydra soldier as a shield when a couple more of his fellow troops started firing down at Xander from the top of the steps. Xander returned fire as he slowly made his way up the steps, ignoring the splattering of blood and flying body parts as his corpse/shield took the bullets.

* * * * *

Invisible and incorporeal, Ares and Odin stood in the corridor of the upper level of the freighter and watched as Xander shoved what was left of the corpse/shield he was using through the entryway and killed a couple more Hydra troops before dropping the corpse and stooping down to pick up a couple more weapons.

Ares couldn’t contain his laughter and had to lean against a wall to keep his balance. “Damn, old man! You certainly know how to pick ‘em.” Then he managed to catch his breath and a more thoughtful look crossed his face. “Look, if you don’t want him as your agent, I’d be-”

“No,” Odin chuckled, cutting the Greek god of war off, “I saw him first.”

Ares frowned for a moment, then another thought occurred to him. “Think you’d be willing to sub-contract him out?”

Instead of answering, Odin held up hand to signal Ares to be quiet.

* * * * *

Xander stopped in his tracks and suddenly spun around, pointing his assault rifle at where he thought he had glimpsed a couple men standing there out of the corner of his eye. Instead, he found himself, looking at an empty wall. Thought he didn’t see or smell anything (other than the smell of gun powder, burned flesh, and blood), something was screaming at Xander that someone was standing there. He wasn’t sure what it was exactly was feeling, if it was some sort of mystical energy or just instinct, but he knew that something…or someone…was standing there, just watching him.

“Enjoying the show?” he asked the blank wall. He waited a few seconds for a response, then shook his head when all he got was silence. “Okay, fine, go ahead and stay incorporeal,” he said. “But after I’m done here, we’re gonna’ have some words.”

He then turned and continued to walk down the corridor, casually whistling a tune as he stooped to pick up another grenade from another dead hydra trooper, pull the pin, and then almost casually toss it around another corner before leaning against the wall.

“Mein Gott!”




There was a sickening “splutch” noise as more bodies and body parts went flying. Xander watched with detached interest as he watched a hand roll by his position. For a moment, part of him took regret in the mass slaughter he was participating in. Yes, he had killed people before.

On the other hand, his inner voice reminded him, these are former Nazis and terrorists who still follow faction of the Nazi regime so let me ask you this question…do you feel bad every time you flush a toilet full of shit?

Then again, his inner voice (who sounded a lot like his former soldier possession) did have a point. He took a breath, reloaded another magazine into his Samopal, and stepped around the corner, firing a five round burst to take down any troopers that might still be alive.

* * * * *

“He saw us?” Ares asked. “How could he see us?”

Odin shook his head. “He couldn’t see us, exactly, but his senses told him that we were there.”

“And where did you find this man, exactly?”

“Would you believe me if I told you that he was tossed away like a discarded weapon?”

“What kind of fools would deny themselves of such a useful weapon?”

Odin smiled again. “Some very big fools,” he chuckled.

* * * *

“Dammit, what the hell is going on down there?” Wolfgang snarled into the radio.

“Sir, it’s the intruder,” one Hydra soldier replied frantically over the line. Gunfire could be heard in the background and another explosion shook the ship. “He managed to get on board, we think he might have come up through the div-AUUUUUGh*” The Hydra agent’s voice became a choked gurgle, followed by a single gunshot.”

“Victor, report,” Wolfgang ordered, “anyone down there, I want to know the situation.”

For a couple seconds, there was silence and then the annoyingly cheerful voice Wolfgang had heard fifteen minutes earlier before this chaos started returned. “My apologies, Baron Strucker,” the voice said, “but Victor is unable to answer due to the fact that I threw a knive into his throat and then put a bullet in his head because I couldn’t stand the sight of him choking on his own blood. As for a situation report, here goes: I’ve killed a bunch of your men, just blew up your galley…which had shitty food anyway…killed more of your men, grabbed some goodies from one of your armories, killed more of your men, and I’m working my way towards you…I think that sums it up.”

Wolfgang couldn’t believe what was happening. “Do you know who I am? Who you’re dealing with?”

“Um…you would be Wolfgang Von Strucker, and I’m guessing you’re the leader of Hydra, right? I gotta’ tell ya, I’m really not impressed. I mean, where the hell is Skull…yeah, he was bat-shit insane, but he was a much more competent leader than you. Shit…who is that other loser that made up the leadership…the freak with the hood…oh yeah, Zemo! Even he could do a better job leading these idiots than you.”

It took all of his effort to keep his composure, especially when his first instinct was to scream in rage. “You are a dead man, my young friend,” he finally said. “Out of curiosity, what is your name? I want to know whose corpse I’ll be dismembering and feeding to the sharks when this over with.”

“Oh, I have many names, Baron,” the unknown man replied. “But the name is Wilson…Slade Wilson. Don’t worry, Baron, I’m sure you’re going to remember that name for the rest of your life.”

Then the line went dead.

This time, Wolfgang lost control and threw the radio receiver across the bridge. He then turned around to look at the two figures standing behind him, a man and a woman, both stood over six feet tall and were powerfully built. “Wilhelm, Julia,” he said softly, “take a team with you, get below decks, find this Slade Wilson, and bring me his head.”

“As you command, Baron,” the man replied, giving Strucker a salute while the woman bowed her head slightly and followed her lover and fellow superhuman out the door.

“Okay, Slade Wilson,” Wolfgang said as he walked over to a table and picked up one of the few remaining energy weapons that Hydra still possessed from the war. He put the pistol in his shoulder holster and then reached over to grab the sword that was also sitting on the table. He had no intention of waiting for Master Man and Warrior Woman to bring him their quarry. In fact, Wolfgang was certain that the intruder may possibly succeed in overcoming them, but he knew that Wilhelm Loehmer and Julia Koenig would definitely hurt Slade Wilson enough to allow him to move in and finish the man off. “Let the hunt begin.”

He then left the bridge and calmly made his way below decks. He may not have achieved his objective, but one thing was certain: This Slade Wilson would surely die by his hand and Wolfgang would be mounting his head on a wall.

* * * * *
AN: Okay, that's it for now, will be finishing this off pretty soon. And yeah, about the Slade Wilson reference...yes, a little cheezy and over-the-top, but c'mon, this is Xander we're talking just know he couldn't resist...and you also know the Hyena's probably whining in irritation about it.

The End?

You have reached the end of "The Powers Screw Up...Again...." – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 13 Aug 12.

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