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Xander and the quest for relics.

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Summary: Xander goes on a mission to recover an artifact for Willow and the council with the help of a slayer and some old friends.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Star Trek > Multiple SeriesMistofRainbowsFR1557,83013816,7534 Jul 1113 Jul 11Yes

Chapter One

Disclaimer: I don’t own Buffy, Star Trek or several other things in this story.
This is a challenge response to Scorpio’s “The Quest” challenge.

Alexander Harris dodged frantically out of the way of a Ferengi disrupter blast as he leapt around the corner of the building. He winced as he clipped the side of the building in his haste. He stumbled to his feet and kept running after sparing half a second to pat his coat to make sure Dawn’s lamp was still where it was supposed to be. She’d kill him if he lost that. Come to it, if he lost her lamp he would likely help. He was just happy that he wasn’t being chased by Klingons as they would have easily caught up to him by now. He smiled as he looked down at the ancient scroll case he had clutched in his left hand. “At least Cordy will be happy that I got the scroll. Now I just need to lose some ugly ass aliens.” He smiled as he spotted his backup waiting on an old fire escape. He wasn’t sure if he was more surprised that she was actually waiting for him where she was supposed to be or that the city still had fire escapes. “Any time.”

Sasha smiled grimly as she leapt from her second story perch and landed on the lead Ferengi crushing his spine as she rode him to the ground. She lashed out with a fist that shattered his overly large and ugly right ear and dropped the creature like a sack of rotten potatoes. She quickly looked around, “How many more?”

Xander sighed as he walked back over to check on the broken aliens, “A couple, these two were just the fastest.”

She sighed as she looked at the two aliens lying sprawled on the ground, “This was so much easier when they dusted.”

Xander rolled his eyes, “There haven’t been vampires for almost three hundred years, and you aren’t that old girl.”

She rolled her eyes as she riffled through the alien’s pockets and snagged his credit sticks and gold-pressed Latinum. “None of the rest of the girls have such an ancient fossil for a watcher, what did I do to deserve this?”

Xander glanced at the dead Ferengi and the one that was more than a little broken from the trauma she had inflicted to its ear. “You don’t deal well with aliens.”

She smiled as she reached into her pocket and pulled out some ear plugs and put them in her ears. “I can’t hear you.”

He sighed, “Now you’re just being difficult.”

She smiled as she pulled out a grenade and tossed it at the entrance to the alleyway just as a squad of Ferengi came around the corner.

Xander winced slightly as the ultrasonic grenade destroyed the group’s hearing and caused them to fall to the ground screaming. He winced at the alien’s high pitched screams of pain. “Damn it. Not quiet.”

She smiled gleefully as she pulled out her daggers and went to work slitting the throats of the Ferengi team with the exception of the one she had knocked out with a blow to the ear. She quickly looted the corpses before she removed her earplugs. “You were saying?”

He sighed, “Let’s get out of here before the police come.”

She sighed, “Honestly, I still think we should have pressed our right to kill demons harder when it came to these things.”

He shrugged, “We had other concerns at the time.”

She walked over and picked her grenade up for reuse later, part of her wished that she didn‘t need to use earplugs but still the enhanced hearing was worth having. “Let’s get out of here then.”

He chuckled as he looked at the alien blood that covered her, “And you into a shower.”

She grinned, “Now what would your wife say?”

“Honestly? Can I watch? At least most likely. Either that or eww you ruined a perfectly good shirt with blood.” He chuckled as he heard his wife’s mental voice, ‘Hell yeah.’

Sasha looked at her watcher as he drifted off a touch. She hadn’t been assigned to him for very long but he was a bit strange. Not that she had expected any different. According to legend in other words the whispers of the other girls at the slayer academy there had been a Xander Harris on the council for more than three hundred years. It was bad enough that Xander thought she looked a bit like the old pictures of Faith, she was just glad that she didn’t look as much like her as he did his great, great however many greats grandfather did him. If she had that much history to live up to she wasn’t sure if she could have done it. She sighed as she tried to put her watcher’s strangeness out of her head and do her job. She reached down and planted a transport beacon on the Ferengi and activated it. She wasn’t particularly happy about letting one of the creatures live but Xander had promised earlier that she could space it after it told them everything it knew about where its business partners had stolen the sacred scrolls from.

Xander smiled as he watched the body disappear, “Never get used to that.”

She shook her head, “You’re weird. You obviously need to get out more. Why can’t we just transport out of here?”

He scowled as he started walking, “I’m not being taken apart and put back together. I don’t really want to die.”

She rolled her eyes as she followed her watcher, “It just moves you from one place to another, it’s not like you’re dead.”

“You have any idea how crowded heaven is because of that crap?”

She blinked in surprise, “You mean…”

“Every time someone uses one of those they send another copy to the afterlife…” He was just glad he wasn’t actually looking at his Slayer; otherwise the desire to laugh would have been too hard to resist. He actually had it on good authority that the soul knew where it was going and that there wasn’t a problem with transporters for most people. They just didn’t work on him.

She opened her mouth in horror before she realized that he was shaking with laughter, “I hate you.”

He smiled, “Yeah, still let’s pick up the pace. The shuttle isn‘t that far.”


Sasha frowned as she looked at the beat up shuttle craft that looked to have seen better days, “Honestly, can’t we upgrade our ride?”

He shrugged, “She’s served the family well for years.”

“She’s ancient.”

“She’s practically new.”

She frowned, “When did you buy her?”

He shrugged, “Someone in the council got her back in 2361.”

She scowled, “I was born in sixty five.”

“So you’re what sixteen?”


He smiled, “See not so old at all.”

“It is for a shuttle craft.”

He rolled his eyes as he punched in the code to open the door, “It’s not that bad.” He winced as the door grated a touch as it opened proving his lie.


He shrugged, “Whiner. It’s got character.”

She shook her head and headed for the showers.

He smiled as he headed to the cockpit so that he could fly the ship off the planet and away from any problems killing the Ferengi might have caused. He glanced back and thumbed the door shut and flipped the lock on the door. He smiled as he reached into his pocket and pulled out the ancient silver lamp he carried around. He smiled as he rubbed the lamp, “I dream of Dawn.” He smiled as green mist billowed out of the lamp and coalesced on the co-pilot’s seat into a naked green haired Dawn.

She smiled as she noticed the scroll. “Hey you got it.”

He handed her the scroll, “Yep, Cordy should be happy.”

“She’ll be happier when you get the rest of the stuff that was supposed to be with the scrolls.”

He shrugged, “Little miss massager for the gods can keep her panties on, we’ll get it.”

Dawn chuckled, “So what do you think of your new slayer trainee on her first mission?”

“She seems to dislike Ferengi even more than Buffy.”

Dawn nodded, “Yeah well, you wouldn’t like them either if you were a girl.”

“You would think she would let it rest, she’s been dead for three hundred or so years.”

“I knew I should have bought a ghost trap back when Ghostbusters was popular.”

She chuckled, “So where is my sister anyways?”

He grinned, “You’re the great and powerful Genie, shouldn’t you know?”

She scowled, “How am I supposed to know when Buffy doesn’t tell me?”

“If you actually let her come into your bottle more than once in a blue moon, she might be more inclined to tell you these things.”

“She bitches about my porn collection.”

He frowned, “Porn collection? Does your husband know?”

She smiled, “I swear I showed him last week.”

He chuckled, “I’m fairly sure I would have remembered that.”

She smiled, “Okay, fine I didn’t. But I might have if you hadn’t been flirting with Cordy.”

“Flirting? I was yelling at her for not telling me about those Tagramania demons on that last job.”

She smirked, “Those did make things interesting.”

He sighed, “Honestly, that’s all you have to say, interesting? You‘re insane.”

She leaned over and pulled him into a hug, “That’s why you married me.”

He grinned as he stared her in her bright green eyes, “Are you sure it wasn’t because you have fat magical powers?”

Dawn grinned, “There is that. Now we have a couple of minutes before Sasha gets out of her shower let‘s not waste them.”

Buffy faded in sitting on the dashboard, “Gah, naked sister.”

Dawn sighed as she released Xander and pulled some more mist out of her lamp to form a swimsuit for herself, “Gah, evil ghost sister with bad timing.”

Xander sighed, “Play nice you two.”

Dawn stuck her tongue out at Buffy for a second, “But I was going to get smooches from my handsome husband.”


Xander chuckled, “So how soon is Cordy going to be able to come down and pick up the scroll?”

“She said as soon as you hit planet side.”

He frowned, “Anyone ever figure out why it’s easier to appear on a planet rather than out in space?”

Dawn shrugged, “Something about there being additional magic on planets so it’s easier.”

He nodded, “So how’s Willow?”

Buffy shrugged, “Still dealing with political bullshit.”

He shook his head, “And I thought becoming a goddess would decrease the political shit.”

Buffy shook her head, “Nah, just tosses you into ever more complicated stuff.”

He nodded, “Hopefully the scrolls help.”

“The artifact that went with the scrolls will help more.”

He sighed, “I’m just surprised that the…” He stopped as the door chime buzzed. “Damn, she must be wondering why I have the door locked.”

Dawn smiled as she turned back into green mist and flowed into the lamp, “Until tonight lover boy.”

Buffy shrugged, “She can’t hear me unless I want her to.”

He sighed, “Lucky.”

She shrugged, “I had a good long life, nice retirement package, but honestly I’m not going to let my best friend wander around forever without some ego deflation.”

He chuckled, “Gee thanks.” He flipped the lock on the door.

She smiled, “What are friends for?”

He was saved from answering as a freshly showered Sasha walked in, “Got the demon stowed in the cell.”

He smiled, “Good, we’ll have a chat with him in the morning.”

She nodded, “So tell me stories about the good old days when there were vampires and more demons than you could shake a stick at. You‘re a watcher, you must know some good ones.”

He chuckled, “I’ve got a couple.”


Disclaimer: How Xander is still around is a surprise. I’ll cite the source for that trick in the chapter it comes out.
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