A Marvel/BTVS crossover....
The X-men were created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby. The other characters that are part of the Marvel Universe were created by others and Marvel is now owned by Disney. Buffy the vampire Slayer was created by Joss Whedon.
This is a piece of fan-fiction and is written for fun, not for profit. All characters within belong to their rightful owners. We're all here to have fun so.... nobody lawyer up. You'll just spoil it for the rest of us. ; )
AN: Been slowly pecking away at this one. Finished up the last bit tonight.
“Sir, we have a problem.” One of Mojo's minions said as they were watching Xander tear through weeks worth of preparations.
“What is it?” Mojo sneered.
“We just went over budget.” The minion said. “Even with recycling parts... we're over.”
“Crap.” Mojo muttered. “How did this happen?”
“Apparently the accountants you assigned Arcade are a little more creative than what we have.” The minion stated.
“Slap some logos on the lower right hand of the screen for various sponsors and we'll wing it from there. Monitor the audience response. If the destruction level gets too high versus production costs... we might have to send them back home.” Mojo sighed. “I knew Arcade had a theatrical streak but I didn't realize he was this expensive.”
“Didn't you give him an 'unlimited' budget?” Another minion asked.
“Bah.” Mojo said. “We all know unlimited is just a word. The fact he went over it means we need to redefine the damn thing.”
“The cost is still going up.” A minion said.
Mojo winced. “Ten minutes. If he doesn't tire out... scrap the project.”
“Speaking of scrap....” One of the minions said as Xander destroyed a phalanx of toy soldiers.
“We really should have done a psych eval on this guy.” Mojo muttered as he tapped his fingers. “Maybe we went overboard on the circus theme.”
“He just breached one of the walls into the next studio.” A minion said.
“Which one?” Mojo asked.
“Antiques Rodeo.” The minion said. “It's a hip-bustin' good time.”
“They had to go into one with the largest market-share.” Mojo sighed. “Pull the plug. We do have their DNA right?”
“Of course.” One of his minions stated.
“Good. Maybe we can make some moderately controllable clones of that madman.” Mojo said. “Also fire Arcade and mind-wipe him. We don't need him with a grudge against us.”
The minions nodded. Creative psychos were some of the most dangerous people out there. Even when they worked for the network.
With Xander and the others....
“Ha Ha!” Xander laughed as he continued his onslaught. He barely registered the flash of light before the group was suddenly not where they were moments before.
“Okay.” Oz said as he quickly took the wooden implement of mass destruction out of Xander's hands. “Your plan worked.”
“I had a plan?” Xander asked as he scratched his head.
“Yes. Your plan was to act like a total psycho in front of our new friends and cause enough collateral damage to force those weird TV show bastards to send us home.” Tim said quickly.
“Yeah.” Eric piped in. “Good job.”
“Oh. So... Denny's?” Xander asked the others. “I could really go for some fries and maple syrup right now.”
“Going berserk does burn carbs.” Oz said sagely. “Let's find out where we are and go from there.”
And they did find out where they were.
They were in Cleveland.
While they were there they met a rather odd.... duck.
But that's a story for another time.
“Okay, I'm going to say that this... sucked.” Oz said as they got off what felt like the thirtieth Greyhound Bus they'd been on since leaving Cleveland.
“Yeah.” Allison said. “It did.”
“So showers and getting our cars out of impound?” Xander asked.
“Agreed.” Everyone else said with a nod.
“Still want to double up on the tours?” Xander asked Allison.
“It's doable.” Allison agreed. “Girls?”
All three of Allison's band-mates nodded.
“We're in.” Allison grinned.
“Good.” Tim said. “So... the real question is, who is going to get signed first?”
“Oh it is on.” Xander declared.
And it was.
New York City
“Last week before College.” Oz said with a sigh.
“He's torn, like an old sweater.” Xander said to Tim and Eric.
“He's got a point though.” Tim shrugged. “He's looking to expand his life past a high school diploma. Bass players, while some are signature... are a dime a dozen.”
“So, we either get signed or back to Sunnydale for you.” Xander summed up.
“Yep.” Oz nodded. “Willow called again. She misses me.”
“Does she know about Hannah?” Xander asked.
“Nope.” Oz said. “What happens on the road or in other dimensions....”
“Stays there.” The other three band members said together.
“Right.” Oz nodded.
“So we do this one little gig in the old meat packing district and we're looking for a new Bass player.” Xander said with a sigh. “Guess we'll have to make it a memorable one.”
“Uh-oh.” Oz said quietly.
“Yeah.” Eric agreed. “Big Uh-oh. You guys ready for the new numbers we've been working on?”
“All I need is the lyrics.” Xander grinned. “You guys have the hard part.”
“That we do. Stupid voice powers.” Tim sighed.
“They are not stupid, they're useful.” Xander countered. “Sometimes.”
“Other times, it causes all dogs in the area to start humping things.” Eric said with a shake of his head.
“I'm still tweaking it a little.” Xander shrugged. “I did get us out of like fifteen speeding tickets.”
“Which you caused us to get in the first place.” Oz argued.
“We were being chased by angry bees, how can I not speed away from that?” Xander asked. “How?”
“I don't know, by realizing they don't fly very fast at all?” Eric asked.
“Angry Bees!” Xander countered.
“Man, this is boring.” Kitty Pryde said as she stared at the wall.
“That's what you get for getting your homework done early.” Illyana Rasputin grinned as she flipped a page of the magazine she was reading.
“Let's do something tonight. Something crazy.” Kitty said.
Illyana looked up from her magazine. “Like what?”
“I dunno. Something. Go to a club? Somewhere in the city.” Kitty suggested.
“Now you're talking crazy.” Illyana smirked. “I know just the place.”
“How do you know these places?” Kitty asked.
“I'm a teleporter. How can I not go exploring?” Illyana asked. “My power just begs to be used. Just like your power begs to be used to peek on boys in the showers.”
“You promised you wouldn't bring that up again!” Kitty harshly whispered.
“Oh get over yourself.” Illyana said. “lots of powers have been used in the name of peeping.”
“I don't think Professor Xavier ever used his powers for that.” Kitty countered.
“He's one of the most powerful telepaths on the planet. I'm pretty sure he might have influenced some people into doing sexy things even if he didn't mean to. Besides, I heard that back in the day his whole spiel on mutation was mainly used for picking up women.” Illyana said with snort.
“That's just creepy.” Kitty said with a shudder.
“He once had hair too.” Illyana grinned.
“Stop it.” Kitty said. “You're freaking me out.”
“This was the best idea, ever.” Kitty said as Dazzler finished up their set.
“Say... isn't that big guy in the back the Juggernaut?” Illyana shouted into Kitty's ear.
“If he doesn't do anything, we don't do anything. If he attacks, teleport him somewhere else.” Kitty said. The guy didn't look like the Juggernaut to her, but Illyana did see things she didn't.
“Good idea.” Illyana said with a nod. “Let's see what this next band can do.”
That was when a strong Bass line started playing.
“We're off to a good start.” Kitty grinned.
The back of the club.
“I swear that guy looks familiar.” Cain Marko said as he sipped his beer.
“Come on.” His black haired friend said. “You're imagining things.”
“Nah.” Cain said. “I swear Tom, he kinda looks like you.”
That was when Tom Cassidy heard a unique feedback on the mike for just a moment before the young man's voice took over causing every woman in the bar to look at the source.
“Son of a bastard.” Tom muttered. “He's got Cassidy Blood alright. In fact... he could be old enough...”
“He's yours?” Cain asked.
“Maybe.” Tom said. “There a few things I've done that I'm not proud of. Not many, but a few.”
“They're not bad.” Cain said with a shrug.
“Nah, they're good.” Tom grinned. “The song's about what all men are after and how they want it.”
“I haven't fit in a vehicle that wasn't either modified or a moving van in some time, let alone a backseat.” Cain said as he shook his head.
“That was a choice you made.” Tom said. “He is a result of one of my poorer ones.”
“A child isn't a bad choice.” Cain mused.
“Not the child, but the circumstances and reasons behind it.” Tom sighed. “I'm going to have to speak to him.”
“Let's just enjoy the show first.” Cain said as he signaled a waitress for another round.
“Good idea.” Tom grinned .”He does have a pair of pipes doesn't he?”
“Almost golden.” Cain agreed. “Hell of a range.”
“Yeah.” Tom said with a hint of bitterness. “Seems like he received other family gifts.”
“Don't be like that.” Cain chided. “You have a son! Most women who actually see my penis end up running far away. The ones that don't? They aren't worth laying with.”
“Jesus, man.” Tom said. “You're really regretting the change aren't you?”
“I can't give up the power.” Cain explained. “Even if it didn't come from where it did, it likes being free, being used. It would go to someone. Someone that could do things that I wouldn't. Even here, I have to wear this damn illusion making me look smaller.”
“You are looking...slimmer.” Tom grinned. “Keep drinking and I'll do the same. Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Cain nodded.
With the band....
“I think we did okay with that last set.” Eric said to the others. “Though those two guys in the back were looking at Xander funny.”
“Some people don't respond well.” Xander shrugged. “Still most people like it. I think we're going to sell all of the albums. It could be enough for some more studio time.”
“More than studio time.” Oz said as he realized someone had slipped in a business card in with the money for one of the albums. “I think we've got a shot.”
“Awesome.” Xander said. “Wait... it's not Mojo records is it?”
“Galactus Records.” Eric read. “Not a big label, but a label.”
“Wait isn't that the label named after that world eater guy?” Xander asked.
“Yeah, they're new and they mainly deal in some of the darker sides of metal, but they're a known label.” Tim said. “We need to call these guys.”
“But first, I feel like eating something interesting.” Xander said.
“Shawarma?” Eric offered.
“Pizza.” Oz said.
“Let's get their input first.” Tim said.
“Good idea.” Xander said as he looked out at the crowd. His Sunnydale Sense was tingling. “I don't think those guys are going to let us leave.”
“Slip out the back after the last set?” Tim offered.
“Sounds good.” Xander grinned. “We've still got another hour left. Maybe they'll leave.”
“Doubtful.” Oz said as Dazzler took the stage again. “Still, we get free soda. That's nice.”
“He is the weirdest werewolf.” Tim sighed.
“Nah. That'd be his toddler cousin who infected him.” Xander grinned.
With the crowd....
“This was a good idea but we should be getting home.” Kitty said with a half yawn.
“Party-pooper.” Illyana muttered. “Don’t you think we should see what Juggernaut and Black Tom want with those guys?”
“Fine, be responsible while we're trying to be irresponsible.” Kitty sighed. “Call Kurt if you call anyone.”
“That rapscallion?” Illyana said with a raised brow. “Fine.”
“I trust his judgment and he's good in both close quarters and ranged combat.” Kitty said. “Just call him.”
“I can do better than that.” Illyana said. “Excuse me as I go pretend to use the ladies room.”
Outside the club....
“Guys, I think we need to hurry up with the loading and escaping.” Oz said as he spotted the two men from the club a little ways away from them on the street.
“I got this.” Xander said as he grabbed some drumsticks from Tim's kit.
With Kitty, Kurt and Illyana across the street.....
“What is he doing?” Kurt asked. “Does he even know who he's going up against?”
“I doubt it.” Illyana said with a small bounce. “This is gonna be neat.”
“Street pizza.” Kitty sighed. “Stupid rules of engagement.”
“That or we jump the gun. Remember the postman incident last Christmas?” Kurt said with a sigh.
“No, because I was with my family doing the whole Chanukah thing.” Kitty said. “I heard about it though. Seriously, what did he do to deserve that with a pineapple?”
“Like I said, jumped the gun.” Kurt shrugged.
“Gentleman, if you didn't like our music, I understand.” Xander said as he walked up to the two. “If it's something else, well let me know.”
“There's a wee problem.” The shorter of the two men said.
“Uh-oh.” Xander said. “Look, it happened before I met my girlfriend and she said she was eighteen.”
Both men sighed. “The apple doesn't fall far does it? The taller one asked.
“Nah.” The shorter one said. “I suppose it doesn't.”
“Apples? What are you two on about?” Xander demanded. “If this is about the fruit basket incident, it was clearly labeled for the band.”
“Wait a second... I think I know this guy.” Cain said as he stared at the teen. “But that was a while back, he would have been a kid then.”
“Umm... okay.” Xander said as he looked at Cain funny. “Seriously, how can I help you?”
“My name is Tom Cassidy.” Tom said as he introduced himself. “There is a decent chance..” Tom was about to say more when he was interrupted.
“Daddy!” Xander said before charging one of the drumsticks and firing it at his father.
The energy hit Tom but did nothing.
Mutant powers canceled each other in families sometimes.
“Huh.” Xander said. “I was thinking that would have had... more impact.”
“I swear I know you.” Cain said as he stared at Xander.
“Nah.” Xander said. “That would be highly improbable.” He said with a grin.
“Uh-huh.” Cain said suspiciously.
“So... son.” Tom said carefully. “Do you know about the family?”
“Enough to know how to fly with my pipes.” Xander grinned. “I even got a sweet disco suit to help out with that.”
“Good enough.” Tom nodded. “So... are you mad?”
“Mad? Nah. If I was really mad at you, I'd throw horse manure in your mouth or something equally irritating.” Xander told him.
“It is you!” Cain said as his Illusion dropped revealing his much larger and armored form.
“Oh crap.” Xander said as he looked up. “Super run away!” He said before doing just that.
With the bands....
“Did he just leave us?” Eric asked the others.
“Dude just get in the van. The farther we are from this, the safer we'll be.” Tim sighed.
With Kurt, Kitty and Illyana.....
“Wow. That really was the Juggernaut.” Kurt said quietly. “What did that kid do to piss him off so much?”
“No idea. Let's follow them!” Illyana said with a grin.
“Can't we just call it night?” Kitty asked softly.
“You two dragged me out here for this. We're going.” Kurt told her.
“Must... keep running.” Xander panted as he struggled with the zipper of his flight suit. “Have to get to a pile of poo and a telepath.”
“Get back here you little bastard!” The Juggernaut roared.
“Not cool!” Tom called as he ran behind his friend.
“Remote viewing might be a better idea.” Mojo mused as he ate some popcorn. “Who writes this stuff?”