The Penny Paradox
I don’t own The Big Bang Theory. That’s Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady.
Guy rules didn’t really apply to Sheldon. Though, to be fair, girl rules didn’t apply, either. Penny had suggested that they use alien rules but none of them could pull off Klingon and only Sheldon could out-logic a Vulcan. Every other species was considered and rejected as impossible or impractical until it became clear. The only rules they could
play by were the rules they were already playing by: Sheldon’s rules.
The strange thing about that, though, was that Penny bent, poked at, and seriously broke every rule Sheldon had ever laid out her, yet he set her higher in his social hierarchy than Wolowitz, whom he’d known for years and was also a scientist.
“He totally wants to bag her,” Wolowitz said and he wasn’t being catty because Sheldon had tried to vote him out of the group instead of Penny that one time.
“He does not,” Leonard said, hands twisting and voice taking on a nearly unbearable whine. “He’s just fascinated by her. Penny’s very…lovely.”
“I don’t know, dude. He lets her touch him,” Raj said, looking away from his computer to wag his eyebrows. “I think Howard’s right. Sheldon totally wants a piece of that.”
Leonard’s grimace was a thing of beauty, his nose almost squinching all the way up under his glasses. “Sheldon doesn’t want to have sex with Penny. They’re just friends.”
“Like that time you were just friends with her and you slept together?” Raj threw out.
“Yes,” Leonard said quickly, then realized what he’d agreed with. “No! Just…friends. No benefits.”
The door banged open, Penny spilling in laughing as Sheldon followed her, sighing in his long suffering manner. “Sheldon
! You know it’s true!”
She was hanging off his arm and Leonard’s mouth pinched
“Penny, your hypothesis fails to account for several variables which alter the results in drastic ways and I can prove it,” Sheldon said, moving past them and going down the hall to reach his bedroom.
Penny followed along right on his heels, not at all bothered by the fact that, yes, she was about to enter his bedroom, which was expressly forbidden. “Sheldon, LoL Cats isn’t a bid by felines to take over the world.”
“You can’t prove that!” he said. “See!”
“Oh my God…” she said and the door closed behind her.
They watched the hallway for a few minutes, then, when it was obvious Penny and Sheldon weren’t coming back any time soon, Raj said, “Totally doing it.”
“Oh my God
,” Leonard said, looking totally horrified. “This is a nightmare