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The Devil's Playthings

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This story is No. 1 in the series "Welcome to Seattle". You may wish to read the series introduction first.

Summary: A couple Scoobies get a close look at how the Devil treats a few of his favorite toys, and Sam discovers there -are- people with jobs as odd as his.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > ReapermemnorakFR1579,9501135,11119 Jul 115 Aug 11No

Welcome to Seattle

Disclaimer: I own no rights to either the Buffyverse or Reaper. Both shows belong to their respective owners, and I couldn't make a cent off of this stuff if I tried.

Setting/spoilers: Post S7 for Buffy, possibly (probably) with a few tweaks here and there. Nothing really for Reaper here, though probable spoilers through the end of the show in later chapters.

This will be a loosely connected series of one-shots, inspired by the fact that I just watched both seasons of Reaper for the first time this past week. As the concept of "demons" isn't quite the same between the two shows, expect some sort of hybrid that may change from chapter to chapter.

"Are you sure it isn't Halloween?"

"Yes, I'm sure, Xander, unless they moved it to April," Dawn answered distractedly.

Dawn had flown into town yesterday, and this was her first night out on patrol since her arrival. With all the mini-slayers running around the rebuilt Council headquarters in England, Buffy felt she had a perfect excuse to keep her sister locked up at night, surrounded with bubble wrap and floating in the middle of a swimming pool filled with holy water. And that was on a good day; on Tuesdays she tended to get "a little more cautious."

"Did you just see..." Xander trailed off, waving vaguely with his hand in the direction of the street.

"Three weird guys charging into a burnt-out restaurant screaming?"

"Yeah, that."



So when a pair of new girls needed to be escorted out to Xander's latest project, the new Slayer House in Seattle, Dawn jumped at the chance to get away for a little while. And to celebrate her new-found freedom, she decided to stick it to Buffy by going out for a quick patrol without any bossy, overbearing slayers along. Sure, she brought Xander along, and he most likely had two or three of the minis shadowing them at a discrete distance, but it still felt good to indulge her inner 14-year-old brat and thumb her nose at her overprotective older sister, if just for a little while.

"And was that..."

"Armor made of sushi mats?"


"With mixing bowl helmets?"

"Uh huh."

"Just making sure."

Things had been quiet so far; the sudden influx of slayers had left most of the non-human population filling up Hoovers or laying low and reevaluating their positions. They had been about to turn for home when Dawn had felt something, a sense of something... out of place (and boy, was she glad Andrew had stayed in England; another "disturbance in the force" joke and she'd actually have to shove his Star Wars box set somewhere unpleasant). As "out of place" for a dimensional key usually meant something from a hell dimension going walkabout, they'd decided to investigate.

"Armed with a rolling pin, a meat tenderizer, and a colander?"

"Mmhmm," Dawn murmured.

"...And not Halloween costumes?"

"I'm gonna go with no."

Xander paused for a moment. "Yeah, they're probably going to die. Should we go help them?"

As he spoke, a series of loud crashes and other, stranger noises started to drift out from the kitchen entrance to the old restaurant. A moment later, the three men staggered out, missing much of their armor, covered in either blood or marinara, with one of them clutching a slightly smoking colander.

The largest of the three, leaning heavily on the charred wall of the building, said loudly, "Okay. New plan. Sam, if the Devil ever comes to you with some stupid vessel like that ever again, you tell him... tell him, well, something really rude, and make him give you a different one. 'Oh, Sam, just go capture this escaped, murderous, cannibal chef soul from -Hell- with this colander.' I'm telling you, I am going to have nightmares about straining pasta for at least a week."

The other two mumbled their assent, and the three stumbled back down the road, never noticing Dawn and Xander, who stood on the streetcorner, mouths agape, watching the trio pass.

A minute later, Xander abruptly turned around, and said "You know what, for once, I just don't want to know," before starting to walk back to the House, barely noticing when Dawn fell into step beside him.
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