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Walking in Your Shoes

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Summary: Darla the Vampire Slayer? Vice Principle D’Hoffryn? Astor the vampire cursed with a soul? Spike has no idea what the hell is going on but could someone please stop the world? He’d like to get off.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
BtVS/AtS Non-Crossover > Comedy > Spike-CenteredsouldrivenFR13172841281631 Jul 1131 Jul 11Yes
Walking in Your Shoes

Summary: Darla the Vampire Slayer? Vice Principle D’Hoffryn? Astor the vampire cursed with a soul? Spike has no idea what the hell is going on but could someone please stop the world? He’d like to get off.

Author’s note: Just one of those middle of the night with too much sugar in my blood ideas. I felt like sharing.

Disclaimer: do not own Buffy or the characters.

Spike felt himself wandering around the halls of Sunnydale Highschool shell shocked. He did not know what was going on or when this nightmare would end but the First could not have thought up something so pure evil. If only because Spike saw this place as evil from his perspective but did not really make this world evil.

“William! Boyo, buddy, old pal, what’s wrong with you?” An- no, Liam questioned worried as he, Drusilla, and Darla joined him out in the quad. Spike could not hold back the small whimper of the sensation of his brain being thrown into a blender. This was so wrong, everything is world was above and beyond wrong.

“Will?” Drusilla asked worriedly, the trio’s concern growing at his obvious distress.

Darla frowned, face growing serious. “Maybe a demon or a witch messed with him? Or worse, Cecily. Come on, let’s take him to Nest, he’ll figure out what’s wrong and then I’ll slay it. Don’t you worry William,” the petite blonde declared leading their small parade towards the library.

“Never thought there would be a day when we couldn’t get William to talk,” Liam said softly to Drusilla who whacked Liam disapprovingly even as she giggled.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. So many levels of wrong. Can someone tell the Powers to stop the world? I’d like to get off now, please. Please? Oh God, please tell me this is just me off my rocker due to the First or the soddin’ soul and I’ll wake up any second now. Yeah, any second now this will all be just another reason the demon trials were a big mistake. Any second now…

“Nest! Something’s wrong with William! Fix him!” Darla demanded as they charged into the library.

Ah! Grandpa Batface! HE’S the watcher here? Oh bloody hell. William tried to scream but, a plaintive whine was all that escaped his throat.

“Darla, while your faith in my abilities to resolve most problems you and your friends face I am not a cure-all. Is there any evidence that William is in any way affected by the supernatural?” Nest inquired, German accent faint.

“Well no. But! But! Everyone in his English class said he just randomly screamed and he hasn’t spoken since! Just… made whimpering and whining noises,” Darla explained as some of the self-righteous wind came out of her sails.

Nest hummed thoughtfully acting far too much like Giles for Spike’s comfort. The other members of the Scourge were all watching him with concern, hoping he would give them a clue.

“Wrong,” he croaked out finally. “’S all wrong.”

“What is William?” Drusilla asked with concerned even as her face lit up at him finally speaking.

“Everything! Everyone! Sod the Powers that Be, I wouldn’t be surprised at the rate I’m going that Rupert Giles is the Master trapped beneath the Hellmouth, the Scoobies are the Scourge of Europe and D’Hoffryn is the vice principal!”

Spike’s, or rather William’s ‘friends’, all shared perplexed and concerned looks. Nest just blinked in surprise at William’s outburst.

“Er- Will, D’Hoffryn was the vice principal. He replaced Principal Wells, remember?” Liam said cautiously, trying to let William down gently.

Spike just collapsed into one of the library chairs, whimpered, and cursed everything and everyone possible for this catastrophe. It was a long list.

“What’s wrong with Pratt?” a puzzled if unconcerned voice asked from the bookcases near the back entrance of the library.

“Astor!” Darla called out, whole face lighting up. “What are you doing here?”

“Yeah,” Liam added, sulking. “What are you doing here?”

Curious, Spike pulled himself away from his mental breakdown to see who the mysterious ‘Astor’ was. Whoever it was had to be replacing Angel as the cursed soul vampire. Spike stared in disbelief, wiped his eyes, cleaned his glasses, and stared stunned some more. Finally he started laughing hysterically because this was just the last bloody nail in the bloody coffin.

“I think we broke him,” Drusilla mourned which made Spike just laugh all the harder.

Cause really, Xander soddin’ Harris was ‘Astor’, the vampire cursed with a soul. Maybe, just maybe, there was some evil he could support in this world.

“Wish I knew what was so funny,” Xander remarked dryly and Spike realized that yes, humans could pass out from too much laughter and not enough breathing.

The End

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