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Summary: Xanders car is eaten by a wierd blue portal, can his day get any worse?

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > EurekaTjinFR1533,50978717,9623 Aug 115 Nov 13No

For Science 3

The assembled leaders of the small town of Eureka sat down at the table in Café Diem and began to work through the problems that the everyday town did not run into. Items such as reimbursement for damages caused by rogue attack cyclones, harassment of biosynthetic algae and the resident headache, Alexander ‘Who needs a Hellmouth’ Harris.

When the issue first arrived it had been very simple, the president had looked over the gathered material his specialists had come up with and ordered the walking disaster area to vacate the dimension or face the full consequences. When it was pointed out to him that targeting the boy would not work, the president had briefly contemplated weaponising the chaos magnet by dropping him into places that they disliked and watching them self-destruct; North Korea, Iran, France.

After a time the president had been convinced to let the boy stay in Eureka where his personal level of chaos was only slightly above average for the havoc causing populace of the small town.

That had led them to attempting to find a place for the young man to fit in, his psych profile had been odd, to say the least. To be more direct, he had hit the tests like a bulldozer and skewed the results so badly that they had to flush the whole database and start over. The only advice the computer suggested before shutting down was to lock the boy into a padded room and then bury the room. The town leaders had then put their heads together and tried to come up with something for the boy to do.

His time under Taggert had been short and brutal, with Xander somehow requisitioning one of Global Dynamics Dozer Combat Vehicles and hunting Lowjack throughout the small town and surrounding countryside.

While the boy had failed to destroy his sworn nemesis, he had actually pointed out several glaring flaws in the Dozer design that Global Dynamics were working to correct before actual field testing.

His attempt at Aquatic marine observer had resulted in every fish in the lakes, tanks and ponds to flee from him in terror, which had actually opened up a whole new area of research for anti-shark research that had several eggheads excited enough to wet their dry-suits.

The request for him to try out for Global Dynamics Security had been shot down faster than Stark could scream ‘Fargo with a Gun’ and as much as Carter would like the extra help, Lupo had put her foot down on him joining as a deputy after his near disastrous attack on the returned Susan Pickens.

So far he had worked best at Café Diem where he had assisted Vincent during the lunch hour rush, but unfortunately that had left him with roughly twenty two hours a day to get into trouble. The assembled minds of Stark, Henry, Alison and Carter were wracking their brains trying to figure out a job that would not lead to chaos and destruction the likes of which the world was unprepared for.

Looking over at the current object of their stress as he swept the floor, Alison blinked as the young man’s entire demeanor changed in an instant, leaping across a table he tackled a kid that had been talking to Fargo to the ground before wrestling an object from the boys hand. As Carter began to move, Alison blinked in shock as Xander threw the strange cube across the kitchen and into a rather large decorative cast iron cauldron Vincent had hanging on the wall, the pulse of an electromagnetic discharge signaled the death knell of something Eureka was ill equipped to deal with.

As Sheriff Jack Carter dealt with the surprisingly happy boy and Xander’s recent assault on said child as he explained about the, ‘Bad Juju’, Alison glanced at the other two members of the town leadership. Henry was as shocked as Alison for a moment before Nathan nodded at the unspoken idea the three shared.

“I’ll call Arty when I get back to the office, the Warehouse could use a Liaison of some sort here.” He said before standing from the table “let the handcuff happy Sheriff know that Xander was in the right, we’ll fit him into the chain of command somehow for when something like this happens again” Stark said before leaving Alison and Henry to deal with everything that had happened and get Xander up to speed on Warehouse 13 and all that it involved.


Blinking as the rather unimposing individual that walked into his apartment, Xander shuddered as he could almost feel the mystical items the man carried with him. While not of the same type as the ones he was used to working with, whatever the slightly portly guy with glasses had in the carpet bag was powerful and it was sending his hellmouth wiggens off the chart.

Stepping quickly into the apartment, Arthur "Artie" Nielsen took a seat as he looked the young man over carefully. When reaching towards his bag, he was slightly surprised that the boy set himself for an attack with his hand on a rather intimidating short sword he had concealed nearby. Carefully withdrawing an artifact from his bag, Arty set it on the table and leaned away. “What can you tell me about this?” he asked as Xander made sure he could Watch Arty closely before approaching.

“Eight ball, old ivory, early nineteen hundreds, probably first generation, lots of loss attached to it. Bad juju.” he said analytically as Arty watched him carefully.

Nodding at that the caretaker of Warehouse 13 was amazed at how much the young man managed to get out of just looking at it, “Correct, this was actually the first black Eight ball produced by B.B.C. co Pool, back in nineteen oh eight. While all the rest were red and yellow this one made the rounds in the hands of a notorious shark, it was said that it was black to signify the mourning of your loss, that you would always lose your shirt against it,” Arty explained before taking the item and placing it back in the bag. Over the next hour half a dozen items would be reviewed by Xander who would declare them, ‘Bad Juju’ or some other term. His greatest reaction had been when Arty had pulled the last object from his bag, a white ash stake used by Bram Stoker during his adventure.

Needless to say it had taken a lot of work to get Xander to relinquish the supposedly cursed item, an item that had driven every other wielder mad, an item that had accepted him as easily as the Tesla pistols had accepted Lattimer and Bering.

In all, it turned out to be a successful recruiting expedition. He would definitely endorse Alexander Harris for acceptance into the Warehouse.

The End?

You have reached the end of "FOR SCIENCE!" – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 5 Nov 13.

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