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Summary: Xanders car is eaten by a wierd blue portal, can his day get any worse?

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > EurekaTjinFR1533,50978717,8233 Aug 115 Nov 13No

Blue Portals

Xander Harris stared blankly at the spot just slightly in front of him, in shock. He had stopped by the side of the road to relieve himself during a particularly long stretch of Pacific Northwest nothing he had been driving through on his Road Trip. While stopped his car had been eaten by a magic portal of some sort.

After several empirical tests made by tossing a stone through where his car had been and poking the general area with a stick, Xander had come up with the theory that his car was well and truly gone.

Checking both directions of the tree lined road, Xander sighed, he had been driving for almost an hour in one direction with no sign of life and it looked like it would have taken at least another hour of driving to see anything else. It was one of the reasons he had pulled over for his nature call instead of simply holding it in hopes of finding a rest stop of some sort.

Kicking a small pile of rubble into the nearly perfect circular hole in the ground that had once held everything he might once have owned, Xander grumbled several unsavory things towards the universe in general before heading down the road in the direction he was originally traveling in.

The universe responded in true bastardry fashion by starting a rather strong rainstorm just for his benefit.

--

Eureka was a small town of somewhat interesting design, the technology that could be seen in the everyday lives of the inhabitants was amazing to behold, if one was looking. Xander Harris though, was stomping through the cheery streets with a look that mixed Hannibal Lecter crazy and a pissed off honey badger together in a new and unique form of madness. He snarled vile obscenities to the world at large as he tracked his prey with a wooden club he had either found or gnawed off a tree in his rage.

The current focus for his anger was the rather scruffy mongrel that had barreled into him several miles back and knocked him head over heels down the muddy embankment. Had that been the first time it had happened he would have likely just growled slightly and moved on with his life. This dog, this THING had knocked him over nine times in his tireless trek towards the town. It seemed to get a perverse pleasure out of torturing him and he had recently decided that he would respond by being the bigger man, which meant he intended to club the animal over the head, kill it, skin it, eat it and wear it’s pelt as a trophy to the superiority of mankind.

It wasn’t like he was petty or anything.

His current march of vengeance ground to a stop as a Jeep Grand Cherokee pulled over in front of him and a rather portly man in a Sheriff’s uniform got out with a smile. “Well, I must say that today seems to be our day for visitors. First that Marshal and now…” he chuckled as he waved at the mud and muck covered Xander, “Now I hate to be nosey, but do you mind telling me what the stick is for?”

Staring at the man without really seeing him, Xander finally managed to focus on the question after several seconds, “Dog,” he growled out as he rechecked his grip on the tool of his vengeance while the Sheriff chuckled again.

“Yeah, he’s a local hazard,” He explained before reaching down and carefully taking the club away from him. “How about you tell me what happened and I’ll see about getting you on your way, the dog can wait.”

Blinking at the older man, Xander tried to process the question before giving up and just going with the truth as he was far too exhausted to think up a decent lie. “Car, eaten, portal, blue, walk, dog, DIE!” the last was growled as his hands made a strangling motion. His mind went back to the demon dog that had haunted his steps for the vast majority of his twenty mile forced march.

Throwing his hands up in a defensive motion, the Sheriff just smiled again at the boy’s reaction. “Okay, okay, calm down. Let’s get you back to the station and see about getting you cleaned up and maybe fed. We can deal with the dog later.”

Dropping his hands as the exhaustion hit, Xander just nodded, “Okay. Dogs bad. Demon dogs hunting me and TREES! And, and, Hyenas are like dogs and bad… and…tuxedos and Prom…” Climbing into the back of the Jeep, Xander drifted off to sleep as he continued to complain about the evils of dogs.

Closing the back of his vehicle, Sheriff William Cobb looked down at the shaggy dog that sat at his feet with a doggy grin plastered across his face and sighed. “Now was that really necessary?”

The dog’s affirmative bark seemed to settle the matter as the dog ran off to continue his sworn duty of protecting the citizens of Eureka from boredom.

For his part, Cobb got back in the Jeep and headed towards the jail. The boy could sleep it off in one of the cells while Jo babysat their other “guest.”

--

Deputy Josephina ‘Jo’ Lupo growled as she sat behind the desk and cleaned her weapons. The ‘Felon Spice’ reject was gone, thankfully, but their new ‘guest’ as Cobb put it was still snoring in the second cell.

Reassembling her weapon and snapping the action after she finished, Jo was surprised as the teen grunted from the cell.

“MP Five, Forty, full auto,” Xander grunted out in his sleep before rolling over to face the wall.

Blinking at the words, Jo looked down at her weapon and frowned. “No way,” she muttered before setting the MP5 down on the desk and considered what had just happened. Her first thought was that it was a trick, he had to have only been pretending to sleep and had seen her disassemble the weapon in the first place. The second thought was far more terrifying. While Jo had enough experience to tell the difference between rifles, shotguns and pistols, she had known only a select few that could tell specific details about the weapons from their sounds.

Drawing her sidearm, Jo kept the weapon concealed from the cell and racked the slide.

“M9 military issue Berretta, nine millimeter with illegal full auto modification to trigger assembly,” Xander said in his sleep as Jo tried very hard not to panic. Holstering her pistol, Jo pulled out one of GD’s newest and greatest toys from under her desk and activated the mag-coils.

“Global Dynamics Gauss Pistol prototype, advanced Magneto Fusion Array energy source. Failed military issuance due to overheating and detonation during rapid fire engagements,” Xanders sleepy mumbling drew a concerned look from the deputy as she gingerly set the weapon back down before leaning back in her chair.

--

Waking up in a rush Xander took a few moments to figure out where he was before calming down as everything came back to him. Sitting up, he looked around blearily before finally focusing on the hot older woman on the far side of the bars. “Umm… Hi?”

--

In another world and time a Washington State Trooper found the abandoned fifty seven Chevy by the side of the road and after a quick check of the plate and numbers made a quick call to Sunnydale, the next three weeks were spent in a frantic search for the missing young man before the search was called off. The file would never be closed and the Scooby gang would always wonder what happened to their friend, at least until a demonic hybrid managed to raise an army and kill them all before waging war against the world in a mad desire to follow its creators wish.

In time the war would be ended and the world saved by a rather mad doctor in a blue box, but that is a story for another time.

--

(A/N) I don't know if i will continue this, but i do not own BtVS, Eureka or Doctor Who.
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